


Stingher

by Heroic_Euphoria



Series: Vatră [1]
Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heavy Angst, M/M, Night Terrors, Post-Season/Series 02, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 46,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heroic_Euphoria/pseuds/Heroic_Euphoria
Summary: Six weeks after the defeat of Dracula, Trevor returns to visit Alucard. He discovers Alucard in an unwell and feeble state, neither eating nor resting. Trevor stays and watches over him, slowly trying to nurture him back to health. During this time, he aims to discover what lead Alucard to this state to begin with, though it's no easy task to get him to open up.





	1. Isolation

Life was desolate. Corridor after corridor, dusty corner after dusty corner, the whole lot of it was empty space. Wise words once said the usefulness of the walls is not the walls themselves but the space in between them. There was nothing useful about abandonment. In the six weeks tending to two holds in one keep, Adrian had abandoned himself and many of his sensibilities. Trapped in a labyrinth too large for one man, he huddled in one space, venturing out to other areas of the hold when he required it. 

An alchemy lab wasn’t the most ideal living quarters, but it’s what he preferred. Tinkering day in and day out, scribbling observations here and there. His research progression was minimal, but he had kept a one-track mind thus far in his activities. It kept him preoccupied from his musings for a portion of the day. The rest of his time was spent dwelling, reminiscing, and reliving events ad nauseam. 

A new creation was bubbling in a glass bottle one day Adrian sensed a presence on the grounds of his home. He snarled at the intrusion, forced to leave his enclave to investigate. After making a few rounds, he finally came upon the intruder. He lamented his solitude, for it would be scarce now.

“Surprise, you bastard,” his intruder greeted, a sly smirk on his face. 

“Hello, Trevor Belmont,” Adrian sighed. “What brings you here?”

“I came to see what you’re up to. It’s been a while,” Trevor said, walking along a stone path. “You haven’t been slacking off, have you?”

“Is there some threat you need me to assist you with?” Adrian asked, following him to nowhere in particular. 

“No. I’ve been clearing out the stragglers. It’s been two weeks since the last report came in. Things are starting to settle down, about fucking time.” 

“I’m glad.” Adrian grit his teeth. “I’ve been tending to everything here, no need to crawl up my ass.”

“I’m not crawling up your ass. Christ, can’t a man just visit a comrade in arms?” Trevor clicked his tongue, a miffed expression in his eyes. 

“Why? Did you miss our spats?” 

“Oh, shut up and tell me what you’ve been up to.”

“That’s an oxymoron, you idiot.”

Adrian and Trevor chuckled. The mirth soon faded from Adrian’s lips as they walked. Trevor took the lead, walking to different locations at his own accord. After a brief, quiet tour, Trevor trekked up the extended staircase leading to the area where Adrian was residing. Trevor sniffed as he walked into a cobweb. 

“Dusty as hell over here,” he mumbled. 

“Fuck you,” Adrian mumbled. Trevor only chuckled again, pushing the door to the alchemy lab open, light filing into the hallway. He welcomed himself in. Adrian huffed, his hands balled into fists, his mouth dry and his heart rampaging. 

“You bequeath me your keep and I claim mine, then you barge into my mother’s alchemy lab like you lay claim to it,” Adrian said with a passive-aggressive tone. He rathered Trevor go back to wherever it was he came from and leave him be instead proding in his business. 

“I don’t care.” Trevor shrugged. He studied the bright area, his eye catching the bubbling glass bottle on the table. He walked over to it. Adrian chased after him, frustration and anxiousness crowding his vision. Before he could warn Trevor to  _ back off _ , the bubbling bottle of cerulean liquid was in the Belmont’s hands. He peered at it, his lips pursed in concentration. 

“Put that down, Belmont!” Adrian exclaimed. “It’s extremely potent.”

Trevor startled and placed it back on the table, stepping away with his hands raised. “Okay. What the hell’s been going on in here?”

“Experimentation,” Adrian said blankly. He leaned against the table and crossed his arms. “I’ve been researching since we defeated…” He halted, not finishing his sentence. His sucked in a shallow breath, his chest rumbling with weeks of fogged isolation. The quicker Trevor left, the more at ease he could be. Trevor shrugged, his eyes dancing over open journals and books. His brows raised, irises floating from side of the side as if reading over everything. 

“Why are you developing poison?” Trevor asked, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “Is there some asshole out there bothering you? If so, I’ll help you deal with them.”

“No, there’s...there’s no one,” Adrian said, stumbling on his words. His upper body fluttered while his lower body grew heavy.  He thought it might collapse under the pressure of the contradiction, the probing from Trevor too taxing on his mental state. He wanted nothing more than to write his notes, conjure up his next hypothesis, and carry on with his night. Trevor shook his head and crossed his arms, his eyes squinting at Adrian’s form. Adrian squirmed under the scrutiny. 

“You look like shit,” Trevor said, his voice low. He glanced around the table again. “Tell about this asshole, Fangs. It’s no skin off my nose to help you take care of it.”

Adrian winced at the nickname. “Like I said, Belmont, there’s  _ no one _ ,” he insisted, agitation rising in his throat. Fear took foot in the crumbling walls of his heart and began kicking at the rubble. His rubbed his palm over his breast. 

“What, are you connoting something for a rainy day? Not a bad idea, I suppose,” Trevor picked up a journal of hand-written notes. “Let me hear all about it.”

Adrian stepped forward and tried to snatch the notes out of Trevor’s hands. Trevor jumped back, anticipating the lunge, his brow still raised in question. Adrian bared his teeth and hissed, but Trevor remained unphased at the outburst. 

“Put the fucking book down,” Adrian snarled. 

Trevor lowered his gaze at Adrian, then moved his eyes to the book. “What the hell are you trying to hide?” 

“It’s none of your business. Get out of here before I--”

Adrian halted when Trevor met his eyes. There was a expression on his face Adrian had never before witnessed, and it burned through his stomach and into his lungs. Trevor squeezed the leather binding, his brows narrowing. He pointed at the dhampir, then to the notes on the page. 

“You explain what the fuck this is right fucking now,” he demanded, his voice stern. 

Adrian scoffed, terror in his throat. “You barge into my home, look through my personal items, then demand answers out of me? Are you asking for another fight?”

“I doubt you could even take me on in your current state, you asshole,” Trevor snapped. He gazed to the page again. “Explain to me this,” he said, beginning to read off the page,  _ “I have conducted observations of  toxins #86 and #87 today. They garnered no change within the body when ingested. I have mixed them together along with the cantarella, hopefully increasing the potency of the papal poison. I shall ingest it tonight. If no further input is added, this mixture is successful in killing the Son of Dracula. Dracula was the most powerful of vampire lord, thus, his dhampir son inherited some of that supreme power. Therefore, extending a successful mixture to a dhampir of less powerful parentage will succeed in death as well.” _

Adrian froze, his teeth gnawing on his tongue. Sweat pooled at the nape of his neck, the darkest caverns of his mind uncovered. He teetered on the heels of his boots, the room around him fuzzing in trepidation. He had no words to speak, instead choosing to stare at the floor. He accepted defeat, unsure of what would be bestowed upon him next. Trevor dropped the book and stepped in front of him. 

“Have you ingested anything today?” Trevor asked, his tone mixed with anger and worry. Adrian shook his head. 

“No.”

“Jesus Christ,” Trevor sighed. He gripped Adrian’s shoulder. “Why were you trying to  _ poison _ yourself?”

“Eat shit and die, Belmont,” Adrian retorted, the insult weak on his lips. 

“Yes, and fuck you,” Trevor said, his voice softer. “We’ve been through that banter before. Now answer my fucking question.”

“The world would be better off without the cursed bloodline of Dracula,” Adrian mumbled, straining to speak. He blinked tears from his eyes and turned his head so his blonde tresses would hide his face. 

“You bastard…” Trevor trailed, the vehement tone gone. The only thing laced in his words was hurt, and it choked Adrian’s core. 

Adrian couldn’t say whether or not he was ashamed at what he had been attempting to do. In order to process his emotions, he’d have to feel them first and foremost. As of late, his emotions were cryptic runes he couldn’t decipher, and laid scattered across the rotten framework of his mind. As Trevor stared at him, Adrian suddenly understood why he had claimed he ‘looked like shit’. His hair was tangled in front of his face, matted in some spots, loose strands frayed outward. His eyes were sunken from long periods without sufficient meals. He was lean, some of his muscle mass lost from neither eating proper nutrients or resting. His legs wobbled under the weight of the situation. 

“I’m sorry, Belmont,” Adrian choked. “I seem to have...lost my sensibilities…”

“No shit,” Trevor grunted. “I’ll pry the rest out of you later. Come on.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m cleaning you up. Don’t bother arguing with me, alright?”

The next moment Adrian was aware of, he was sitting on a stool in his chambers, Trevor running a thick-bristled brush through his blonde hair. Every once in while Trevor would grunt when met with a particularly difficult tangle of knots, working through the same spots over and over. Adrian lulled. He finally rested his head on his fist and closed his eyes. Adrian wanted to ask why Trevor insisted on brushing his hair, but knew better than to pick an argument. He was in no state physically or mentally to do so, and it would only be quickly shot down. Instead, he enjoyed the quiet, the throb in his head easing for the first time in weeks. 

“There,” Trevor said, putting the brush down, “that looks better.”

“Thank you…” Adrian mumbled, running his fingers through hair that was smooth again. 

“When was the last time you ate?”

Adrian winced. “I can’t quite recall…”

“Christ,” Trevor sighed. “You got breathless showing me up here. It’s been a damn while.”

“There’s no food here.”

_ “Of course. _ What else can you eat? Blood?”

“Absolutely not!” Adrian exclaimed, his chest trembling. “I’m not drinking your fucking blood, Belmont.”

“Why not? It won’t taste like alcohol, I’m stone cold sober.” Trevor shrugged as if the suggestion were as commonplace as serving a cup of water. He walked around to the front of the stool and peered down at Adrian. 

Adrian shook his head in defiance. “I refuse.”

“Fuck, you’re difficult,” Trevor sighed again. “Don’t make me go find Sypha to help me shove food down your fucking throat.”

“Why don’t you just go back to her?”

“She encouraged me to come check on you. I’m glad she did. How were we supposed to know this was what you were going to do when left alone?”

“It’s none of your business, Belmont,” Adrian retorted. He glared up at the man peering over him like a toddler. 

“Oh hell yeah it is. It’s  _ my business _ and always will be  _ my business _ .”

“Fuck you,” Adrian hissed. He stood to walk away, but when he did, his legs faltered. A sharp ache hit his chest, and took him by surprise. He lost his breath and placed a hand on Trevor’s shoulder to steady himself. He let out a few soft exclamations of pain, his free hand rubbing at his torso. 

“You’re not in good shape, Alucard,” Trevor said softly. He stepped to the side and snaked his hands under Adrian’s arms and legs. He hoisted him off the ground bridal-style, carrying him to the canopy bed at the other side of the room. He laid him down on the sheets on brought a blanket over him. Adrian no longer had the energy to comment on anything, aches attacking the joints underneath his clammy skin. His eyes shifted to Trevor’s form hovering at the bedside. 

“I don’t feel so well, Belmont,” Adrian finally admitted. 

“No shit. I’m going to hunt some game. I suspect you won’t be moving from this spot?”

Adrian shook his head. “I don’t have the energy.”

“Try to get some rest while I’m gone. When I get back you are eating whatever I find, no arguments.”

“Agreed.”


	2. Terror

Trevor was baffled. He walked down the winding steps and into the mid-afternoon sunlight, his mind toiling away at trying to make sense of what he had just seen. Alucard was the epitome of grace and class, yet he was now bogged down, fragile, and aching. Trevor couldn’t understand why. He walked further, his boots kicking rubble further down the pathway. As he ventured on, an enclave surrounded by thin, black fencing came into view. Trevor spotted a splotch of bright colors amongst a sea of monochrome black and grey. His interest piqued and he took a quick detour. 

Dead grass crunched under his feet as he walked into the enclave. A large, square stone sticking up out of the ground, separating itself from the rest of the barren landscape.  He stopped in front of the stone, glancing down to see an abundance of fresh flowers at his feet. There were white lilies, red roses, pink petunias, and a couple of sunflowers. Trevor furrowed his brows. His head lifted and met face-to-face with the stone. He read intricate etching in its surface:

 

_ In memory of Vlad & Lisa Ţepeş _

 

Trevor grimaced. He gazed to the flowers again, which couldn’t have been more than a few days old. A strange taste filled his mouth, conflicted at what he was seeing before him. It was no doubt Alucard who had created this, and judging by it, was a frequent visitor of the spot. Trevor could understand creating a place to honor Lisa, but why Vlad? They had nearly died trying to defeat him while he waged war against humanity. Why was Alucard honoring  _ him?  _ It didn’t make sense until a quick memory flashed back to him:

_ “I-I killed my father…” said Alucard, the distress clear on his face.  _

_ Trevor shrugged. “You saved the entirety of the human race from a maniac. Don’t get weepy about it.” _

_ Sypha frowned, placing a gentle hand on Alucard’s shoulder. “You’ve done humanity a great service, but it’s okay to mourn the man, too.” _

Trevor bit his lip. He sighed, shaking his head at the ground. He swallowed dry, a pinch crawling down his back.  _ “Shit…” _ he mumbled under his breath, a prick of guilt in his mind. Trevor had written off Alucard’s emotions entirely. He had to admit to himself, he hadn’t seen Alucard as having any humanity within him. He didn’t think he felt at all. The bestiary in his family’s hold never spoke of emotional vampires or mourning vampires. 

This whole ordeal, meeting both Alucard and his father, hearing the stories of his mother; it _should_ have proven to him otherwise. Yet, this was the moment it became clear to him. Perhaps he should go enlist Sypha for help, she seemed to be more intuitive about these things. 

_ No, _ Trevor thought, _ I can do this alone. _

He stepped away from the stone and ventured into the forest in search of food. 

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian dozed, opening his eyes every once in a while to gaze out the window. He shivered, drawing the blankets further up his frame. Part of him had figured Trevor and Sypha had forgotten about him, moving on to pursue their own endeavors. He had assumed their meeting was just a convenience, a union of common goals. Now that the task had been completed, they had no need to communicate with each other, or with him, anymore. Trevor and Sypha seemed close friends, he thought they’d travel into the sunset together and leave him a memory. The Belmont hold had been given to him because Trevor didn’t want to keep up with it, and as a gift of gratitude, for he had been the one to stake their archenemy. 

He was wrong. He knew now that Trevor had shown up out of the blue. They still remembered him, and Trevor was persuaded enough to make the trek here to see how he was doing. Beyond that, Trevor seemed adamant on nurturing him back to health, even if his pride prevented him from saying so. Adrian paled. No one was here to tell him to do that. He was doing it of his own accord. 

The door creaked open, Trevor coming through. Adrian turned his head, his eyes half-lidded. He expected to see game in his hand, but instead there was a large chalice. His boots clicked as he walked across the room. Trevor gaze down at him, and Adrian couldn’t help but look away. 

“Here, it’s straight rabbit’s blood,” Trevor said, holding out the chalice. “This should work right?”

“Yes,” Adrian said. He took the chalice in his trembling hands. “You did this yourself?”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t want to chew through raw game. Now you can get the sustenance straight forward. I found your kitchen, hope you don’t mind the fine china.”

“No, of course not. Thank you.” Adrian nodded and pressed the chalice to his lips. He took a sip, the taste overwhelming. He exhaled, drinking gulps slowly. His shrunken stomach quickly filled, and he had to draw the chalice away from his mouth, his chest heavy. After about a half hour of pushing himself, he finished the chalice’s contents. Before he was sickly with the lack of nutrients, now he was sickly for the over-abundance of it. He couldn’t seem to find moderation in his life, everything was either too much or too little, both physically and mentally. He glanced to Trevor, realizing he had been staring the entire time. He flushed. 

“I--I’m going to sleep now…” Adrian mumbled. “Help yourself to anything you can find.”

“I’m going to eat the meat from the game,” Trevor said, his tone blank. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

Adrian’s cheeks rosied. “A-Alright...Thank you.”

“No problem.”

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor prepared his dinner in the grand kitchen of the castle. It was large, solemn even, as his actions echoed off the walls. Once his meat was ready, he sat at one of the tables and munched on it. His lost himself in his musings, the only sound his own obnoxious chewing. 

He couldn’t deny he felt some guilt. He had left Alucard alone in a haste after they had defeated Dracula. He was hasty, yet he was rushing off to nowhere in particular. He had cleaned out the stragglers left over from the nighthoardes, sure, but he wasn’t the only one who was doing that. It could’ve gotten taken care of without him, not as efficient maybe, but taken care of all the same. 

If he would’ve known what Alucard would do when left alone…

Trevor grimaced and shoved the rest of his food in his mouth. He headed back to Alucard’s chambers as he chewed it down and swallowed with a harsh pinch. 

When he came to the chamber door, he heard shuffling and noises. Trevor bit his lip and panicked, throwing the door open without any sense of quiet. He saw Alucard in bed, turned on his side, mumbling and twisted under the sheets. He walked to the side of the bed and watched him for a moment, trying to figure out what was happening. 

Alucard grimaced, his eyes closed. His let out an exclamation of pain and flinched, some of his hair sliding in front of his face. He squirmed, clutching the blanket in his fist. His breath quickened, his brow furrowed.  Trevor stared with a slack jaw, at a loss on what to do. 

“F-Father…” he mumbled, his tone painful. 

Trevor stiffened. He was clearly asleep, but  _ what _ was he dreaming about? Alucard needed rest, but it wouldn’t help if it was filled with nightmares.  _ Was  _ this a nightmare? Trevor couldn’t decide, he never was the smartest when it came to these things. He took two fingers and pushed on Alucard’s shoulder. Alucard shifted onto his back, Trevor peering over him. What he saw caused goosebumps to rise on his skin. 

Alucard’s eyes were wide open, his pupils dilated. Terror was his eyes, and Trevor tried to get his attention by waving his hand. Alucard didn’t respond. His breathed escalated again, his short breaths filing in and out of his slightly parted lips. He looked like a true vampire, that which was described in the Belmont Bestiary. However, there was one thing that set Alucard apart from the creatures described in those pages:  _ Fear.  _

There was agonizing horror on his face. Trevor realized he was having a nightmare and pushed on his shoulder again. Alucard stared straight ahead, straight into Trevor’s eyes, but didn’t respond. Alucard reached his hands upward, and there was nowhere else for them to go except for Trevor’s chest.  He gripped his shirt in a tight hold, his breath hitching. 

“F-Father…” he said again, this time more frantic, “I’m sorry...I’m sorry...I--I had to...I had to…”

Trevor looked in Alucard’s blank eyes as tears bubbled in them. The grip on his shirt tightened. Trevor put his hands over Alucard’s trying to pry away the hands at his chest. He tugged and shook at them, but to no avail. He panicked, no solutions coming to mind. He could fight monsters of the night all day long, but when it came to consoling someone’s struggles, he was usually the first person out the door. He hardly consoled his own struggles, how could he tend to someone else’s?

Now wasn’t the time to think on it. He had to tend to Alucard, no matter how tough it was. Part of it what was Trevor’s guilt, another was this indescribable  _ urge _ to stop the dhampir’s suffering. 

“Alucard!” Trevor shouted, finally using his last-ditch effort. “Wake the hell up!”

Alucard blinked. His pupils shifted, signalling he was awake. The fear was still plastered across his face, his brow furrowed in confusion. He glanced to his hands at Trevor’s chest, then to Trevor’s eyes. He paled. 

“W-What’s going on?” he asked in a near whisper. 

Trevor frowned. “You were thrashing and mumbling in your sleep.”

“O-Oh...I’m sorry.” Alucard loosened his grip on Trevor’s shirt, bring his hands back down. 

“It’s fine. Were you having a nightmare?” Trevor asked, flattening the wrinkles of his shirt. 

Alucard flushed. “I’m fine.”

“Why lie, Alucard?” Trevor sighed. “You’re unwell, we’re both aware.”

“W-Well...I…” Alucard stumbled on his words, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “I’m going to take a bath…”

Trevor watched as Alucard scurried into the bath at the far side of the room and shut the door. Alucard was so reluctant to share anything on his mind, not that Trevor blamed him. Trevor had never been the best listening ear, or the most empathetic man to walk the Earth. He frowned.  _ Don’t get weepy about it, _ his voice echoed in his mind. He closed his eyes. Alucard remembered that, he was sure of it.  He likely saw Trevor as someone he couldn’t confide in, for he would just spit out something snide or unsympathetic. Trevor huffed. He hated he may appear that way to him. He truly did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, welcome to my fanfic!
> 
> I wrote a smut for this pair called "Sweet Sincerity" and it got a lot of positive feedback (thank you!), and I got quite a few requests for a slowburn. It's taken me a while to come up with a plot, and I've gone through a few different ideas, and this one panned out best. When it comes to my writing (both my fanfic & original work), I'm very emotionally driven, I work best writing out characters' emotional experiences in a static setting rather than fast-paced action that shifts from place-to-place. This is what I came up with for this pair, I hope you're enjoying it!
> 
> "Stingher" is Romanian, meaning "loneliness", and "feelings of misery" I found this word in an article talking about Romanian words that have no exact English translation, and that's what it was described as. 
> 
> As the story progresses, I'll likely add more tags. The rating *may* go up, it just depends on where I take it. Nevertheless, this story does and will deal with mature themes, so the rating will stay at "M" or go to "E"
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think, and thank you for reading! :)


	3. Blood in the Water

Adrian stripped off his clothing and climbed into the bathtub. It fizzed with bubbles, the vague aroma of flowers filling the steam in the air. He didn’t usually take bubble baths, electing just for a quick rinse of his body. However, this time, there was a part of him that couldn’t stand the thought of gazing down at his own feeble body. Instead, he chose to mask it in suds.  He curled in on himself, his hair floating around him in the water. 

He struggled with night terrors. He had since the first night he’d slept after Trevor and Sypha left. He never remembered the full dream upon waking. However, as the weeks passed, the dream recurred enough to the point where Adrian could piece together the entire thing bit by bit. It was an exact reassembly of his battle with his father. This time he remembered the dream depicting him being thrown against the wall of his bedroom, his father coming to his revelations, and Adrian staking him through the chest. 

However, in his dreams, they exchanged words they didn’t in reality. Each dream worded it a bit differently, but it was all trades of anguish, remorse, and guilt. This interaction had Adrian spilling mournful apologies from his mouth as his father’s blood dripped onto his hands. 

Adrian opened his eyes, his breathing sharp and short. He bit his lip, wiping his face. Suds stuck to his cheeks and brow, but he ignored it until it dissolved. He concentrated his vision to the other end of the tub, focusing on nothing in particular. An isolated, random thought occurred to him:

When was the last time he had a bubble bath? He couldn’t remember at first. Then, a memory shoved its way to the forefront of his mind:

_ “Adrian, please get in the tub,” Lisa begged. She sat on her knees, her sleeves rolled up to her elbows and her hair braided down her shoulder. She looked defeated, but not frustrated.  _

_ “No,” said Adrian, shaking his head.  He stood beside the bubbling tub, barely taller than it.  _

_ “Why not?” _

_ “I don’t want you to give me a bath.” _

_ Lisa’s eyes widened in surprise. “Why not?!” she exclaimed. “I give you baths all the time.” _

_ “Not today.” _

_ “Will you take one by yourself?” _

_ “Nuh-uh.” _

_ Lisa sighed. She tugged back a strand of her hair and pushed herself off the ground. Adrian pouted and sat on the bathroom floor, his arms crossed in defiance. She threw the washcloth in her hand over her shoulder and stepped out. It was silent for a while. Then, Adrian heard two voices exchange a conversation outside the door: _

_ “He won’t get in the tub!” _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “It’s pretty straightforward, Vlad. He refuses to take a bath.” _

_ “What do you want me to do?” _

_ “Help me get him in the tub. He’s covered in filth, thanks the excursion into the woods you two had  earlier.” _

_ “I don’t know, Lisa. Just pick him up and put him in there.” _

_ “That’s nice for you to say. I’m not in the mood to get drenched in a watery temper-tantrum. I’m always the one who washes him up.” _

_ “Perhaps he’s at the age where he’s self-conscious about his mother giving him a bath.” _

_ “Exactly! So you should do it!” _

_ “I brought this on myself…” _

_ The door opened. Vlad stepped in, his towering presence causing Adrian to cower a bit. Adrian looked away, hoping he wasn’t getting punished, not that his punishments were ever harsh. His parents doted on him more than anything, and their disciplinary actions often softened when they saw his tears. Adrian had them wrapped around his finger, not that he fully understood it.  _

_ Vlad sat on his knees, his cape bunching around him. He sighed. “Adrian,” he said with a monotone voice, “it’s time for a bath.” _

_ “Are you giving me a bath, daddy?” he asked.  _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Okay.”  _

_ The next thing Adrian knew, he was in the bath, getting his hair scrubbed by his father’s fingers. Adrian played with  bath toys to preoccupy himself. He hummed and babbled, water falling over his head. He giggled and splashed.  _

_ “Daddy, play with me!” he exclaimed with excitement.  _

_ “Alright…” Vlad sighed and pushed around one of the toys, a small smile on his lips. Adrian giggled again and played along. He shook his head.  _

_ “Daddy, Mama says you have to be in the bath to play with bath toys.” _

_ “I’m not getting in the tub, son.” _

_ “Then you can’t play with me. You said you would…” _

_ Vlad sighed again. He unbuckled his boots and climbed into the tub fully clothed. His cap hung over the side and he unclipped it, allowing it to fall to the floor. “The things I do for my son…” he mumbled.  _

_ “Yay!” Adrian clapped his hands.  _

_ Lisa opened the door and stood in the doorframe, leaning against it with her arms crossed. She smiled, a joyous expression on her face.  _

When Adrian returned to the present from his recollection, the water surrounding him was stained red. He touched his face, his fingertips stained with blood. He blinked, his breath shallow. When well-nourished, he would cry tears of blood, that which he inherited from his father. When he lacked nutrients they turned to water. This trait of his was a constant reminder of the two contradicting halves that made him whole, and it haunted him at times like these. Blood stained the water, brought about by tears he hadn’t realized he shed. 

He wanted to be innocent again. A place where his mother was his mother and his father was his father, not a burned “witch” and a demon. He grimaced and rose from the tub, his stomach thrashing in the process. He dressed and washed his face clean with fresh, clear water. Once finished, he took a gold chain off the table and clipped it at the nape of his neck. The black ring dangling from it fell down under the v-neck of his shirt. 

_ I wish I could believe again, _ he thought,  _ I wish I could see the stars the same way again. I can’t. There’s no going back. _

Trepidation filled his heart and spiked his chest in an intense throb, his breath short. He didn’t understand where the feeling was coming from. It was often he felt like this these days, an unwarranted dread would fill him to the brim at random, and his body would gear up for a threat that didn’t exist. He had been told time and time again everything was better now, but did he believe it?

Some days were better than others. 

Adrian’s pulse sped. His head throbbed, and nausea clenched his abdomen. His skin flushed, fluctuating between hot and cold at the same time. He had the incredible urge to flee somewhere, or simply walk in circles, but there was nowhere to go. Before he could tend to the urge to pace, he rushed to an empty bucket nearby and vomited. 

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor dozed in a chair in the corner. He tapped his foot, his head drooped to the side. It had been a long journey back to this place, and he was exhausted. Not only that, but he had ventured out again and hunted game, which was tough, given he was out of practice. Thereafter, he had witnessed the true extent of Alucard’s terror, which still shook his bones. Trevor had never seen anything like it. He had bad dreams as a kid, who didn’t? This wasn’t the same. He had never witnessed a sleeping person with their pupils blown wide with terror, staring straight at him, no less. Trevor tried to shake the image out of his mind, but couldn’t force it away. 

He wanted Alucard to reveal what exactly had transpired in the dream, but was too afraid to ask. He could try to slip it into the conversation with a few methodical sentences, but it felt wrong. What was he to say?:  _ Hey, I heard you screaming out to your dead father. Is everything okay? _ It seemed insensitive, especially given Trevor’s passive attitude at the time of Dracula’s death. 

There had to be another way. Whatever that path was, Trevor didn’t know it. He would just have to do his best to look after his health, and,  _ maybe, _ Alucard would open up to him. He wasn’t hopeful. Trevor had immense guilt over the entire situation. First he had been insensitive, then he had packed up and left,  _ then _ found him trying to poison himself. It put an unsettling rock in the pit of his stomach. Over the course of trying to defeat Dracula, Trevor had done nothing but reiterate how evil Alucard’s father was and how important it was he that he be killed. Everyone in their trio knew that, but only Alucard knew life beforehand. He had insights that no one else did. 

_ “I’m surprised to find I had a better childhood than you,” Alucard said with a blunt tone.  _

_ Trevor scoffed. “And your dad’s fucking Dracula.” _

They had chuckled at the time, but now it didn’t seem funny. Trevor grimaced at the memory. Did Alucard laugh just to mask his torment? Trevor used to have a boisterous, drunken laugh, a laugh that drowned out all the pain of losing his family. Alucard was no different. Trevor frowned, guilt stabbing straight through his chest. 

He heard Alucard wretch through the bathroom door. He stood in a worried haste, mumbling,  _ “shit,” _ under his breath as he rushed over. He threw open the door to see Alucard hunched over a bucket, vomiting part of his meal into it. Trevor grimaced. He had witnessed blood pooling at a vampire’s mouth before, but it was never this  _ human.   _ He ignored the goose bumps on his arms as he helped Alucard stand. 

Alucard took a washcloth and wiped his mouth clean. He flushed. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “sometimes I have trouble keeping things down…”

“It’s fine, it’s not like it’s your fault,” said Trevor. He surprised himself at his soft, understanding tone. “You need more rest.”

“Agreed.”

Trevor guided Alucard back to bed. Alucard climbed in and laid on his side, sighing into the pillow. Trevor stared at him. His brow was furrowed in deep thought, his eyes full of sorrow and exhaustion. The image of him thrashing and mumbling rushed back to him. He could almost  _ feel _ the grip on his shirt and the terrorized eyes digging into his skull. Trevor bit his lip. He tried to think of something he could do to prevent that from happening again, but turned up blanks. Alucard closed his eyes, and as he did, one possible solution came to him. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but he’d be damned if he didn’t give it a try. 

Trevor unbuckled his boots and took off his tunic, leaving him in his white undershirt and trousers. He climbed into bed, wrapping Alucard’s frame in a tight hold. Alucard’s eyes opened, his face red and his jaw slack. 

“What are you  _ doing, _ Belmont?!” he exclaimed, trying to wrestle his way out of the hold. 

“You can’t thrash around if you’re locked in my grip,” Trevor responded, his tone blank. 

“Unhand me!” 

“You can’t make me,” said Trevor in a sing-song voice. “Now shut up and get some rest.”

Alucard huffed and settled down again. He closed his eyes. “Fine. Goodnight, Belmont.”

“Night, Alucard.”

Trevor stayed awake long after Alucard fell asleep to make sure he didn’t find himself in a night terror again. His body stayed still and his breathing steady, much to Trevor’s relief. It was near dawn by the time Trevor drifted off to sleep. His pride wouldn’t even let him admit it to himself, but he was glad the night had masked the faint tint of his cheeks as he held Alucard in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the Tepes family is so cute and sad at the same time. :/
> 
> Alucard crying bloody tears is just a personal headcanon of mine, though he doesn't do that in the show. I think it's an interesting touch to his character, a detail that I use to link back to the dynamic he has with his father. 
> 
> I hope you're enjoying thus far. It's definitely a feels trip. lol


	4. Trevor & Adrian

Adrian was thankful his long hair was able to cover his face. Otherwise, it may have proven to show more than he wished to reveal. Trevor’s arms were wound tight around his chest, holding him in place. He flushed at the contact, realizing they had stayed this way all through the night. Another realization came to mind: he didn’t have any night terrors. He wasn’t sure if it was a coincidence or if Trevor’s presence was responsible. Adrian’s cheeks pinked. He was more well-rested than he had been in weeks. He had to admit, sleeping with someone near was far more comforting than facing the dark alone. The hard part would be admitting it to Trevor, the smug _I-told-you-so_ Belmont. Adrian sighed.

Trevor deserved to know what he had been doing was helping. Adrian had a long road to journey in order to be even half of what he was before his mother passed away. He deduced his downward spiral had started then, and his year sleep was only to hide, not to heal. After his father’s death, he truly spiraled out of control, left with nothing to do and no dire task to chase after. Left to his own devices, he withered and neglected himself.

That was until Trevor showed up. Trevor was stern and adamant when it came to caring for Adrian’s health. _Why?_ Adrian flushed as the arms around him shifted. Adrian couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but Trevor seemed _different_ somehow. It was as if he was more empathetic and sympathetic.

Trevor shifted and yawned. “Shit…” he mumbled.

Adrian lifted his eyes, but couldn’t see much through his hair. “I’m awake. You can let go of me now.”

“Oh, okay then.” Trevor unwrapped his arms and pulled away. The cold rushed to Adrian’s form at the absence.

“I...I didn’t have any terrors last night.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“I think everything you’ve done so far has…” Adrian paused and swallowed. “...been helping. So thank you.”

Trevor grunted and climbed out of bed. “Good, but you’ve still have a long way to go. Don’t think I’m just going to hike out of here for you to just to revert back to your old ways.”

Adrian raised his brow in surprise. He sat up in bed and turned so he was facing Trevor. “You really think I would?”

“Yes,” Trevor said, putting on his tunic, “I do.”

“M-Maybe you’re right…” Adrian frowned and gazed downward, his cheeks hot with embarrassment. He didn’t understand why he felt shame and humiliation, but it was there, and it was slowly eating his heart. He felt burdensome for having Trevor stay in his home instead of out in the world. All of this was because he had lost sight of himself. He carded through his hair and stared down at the black ring dangling at his chest.

_This is all because I can’t handle it,_ Adrian thought. _I can’t cope with...losing them like that._

Trevor brushed his fingers through his hair. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Are you?”

“Hell yeah, I’m always hungry. And ready for a drink.”

Adrian chuckled, though it was hollow. “I suppose you don’t mean water.”

“Fuck no,” Trevor said with his own chuckle. “You know me better than that.”

“Of course I do.”

Trevor sat back on the bed. He studied Adrian’s form, his gaze taking him in head-to-toe. Adrian squirmed, a light blush on his cheeks. He hated to be the one being stared at, especially so by Trevor Belmont. Adrian was well aware of his current state: tangled hair, sunken eyes, and a lanky, hunched body covered in skin a sickly pale color.  One good night’s rest would never be enough to wash all the anguish away. All it would take was another bad night terror, and he’d get pushed back ten paces. He was trudging uphill as a loose skeleton. It was difficult to get ahead.

Adrian made eye-contact with Trevor, then glanced away. Trevor lifted his hand and took the black ring in his fingers. He stared at it. Adrian stiffened, feeling the tug of the chain at the back of his neck.

“Do you have something to say, Alucard?” he asked, his tone gentle.

Adrian stared at him. The tone of voice threw him off, and caused his heart to spike. His stomach thrashed, his body gearing up its defenses once again. He wanted to crawl out of bed and slip through the window if it meant avoiding Trevor’s gaze.  His hands trembled and he clenched them into fists.

“N-No, Belmont,” Adrian responded, his mouth dry.

Trevor scoffed. “That’s a damn lie. You’ve got more than enough to say. You’re just afraid to say it.”

Adrian stiffened, the words striking his core. He swallowed tears, feeling Trevor’s revelations were too much for him to handle. “F-Fuck you…” he mumbled.

Trevor shook his head. “No, you can’t deflect me with that anymore. This isn’t senseless banter and this isn’t a fucking joke. I don’t need to remind you what I walked in on you trying to do.”

There was silence between them. Adrian tried to hold his composure together, but it was slipping quickly. He found these days it was harder for him to hide. His stoic attitude was crumbling bit by bit, torn apart by his torment. The blank stares and faces he gave Trevor and Sypha when they traveled together were long gone. It had been a facade all along, one he didn’t have the energy to keep up with anymore. If he was tired, he had to say so. If he hungered, he had to admit it to himself. If he had something on his mind…

“I--I miss them, Trevor,” Adrian finally admitted. Tears bubbled at his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. His breath hitched as he cried. _“I miss them.”_

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor stiffened as he watched Alucard cry. Alucard’s fists were bunch around the blankets, his head pointed down so droplets of water fell into his lap. This is what he had been trying to do: get Alucard to admit something was on his mind. He thought tears might be a possibility, but they were a possibility that Trevor didn’t take seriously. Now that he saw it before his eyes, he was intimidated. He hadn’t been this intimidated fighting a cyclops. Why was this so _difficult?_

_I miss them, Trevor,_ Alucard echoed in Trevor’s mind. Trevor’s eyes widened. _Wait,_ he thought. _He didn’t just..._

His name had always been Belmont. There were a few other nicknames thrown in from time to time, names Trevor couldn’t even recall at the moment. Yet, despite all they had been through, he had never been _Trevor._

Trevor panicked. He didn’t know what to do. What did it mean to be called Trevor? Did it mean something deeper? Was it just a slip-up? He couldn’t ponder the implications, or lack thereof, of the name-change at the moment. He had to do something to help Alucard through this pain. But what?

He had never been smart with these things. Perhaps he should go find Sypha…

_No,_ he thought, shooing the idea away again. _I’m Trevor fucking Belmont. I can handle this._

Trevor lifted his hand, nervously placing it in the crook of Alucard’s shoulder. Alucard rubbed at his eyes, the tears still raining down into his lap. He lifted his head to meet Trevor’s eyes, the lurid gaze lamentful and intense.

“Hey,” Trevor said, trying _anything_ in order to be helpful, “you know they’re not in pain anymore, right?”

Alucard stared at him with large, doe eyes. He exhaled through his mouth and shook his head in disbelief. “My parents died horrendous deaths…”

“That pain is gone now, Alucard. Whatever torment they experienced in life can no longer touch them.”

“I did that to him, Trevor!” Alucard exclaimed, clutching his chest. “I made it painful...it’s my fault…”

Trevor stiffened at the mention of his name again.. He sighed. “You know there was no way around that. You’re not thinking clearly.”

Alucard ignored Trevor’s statements, digging deeper into his anguish. He moved his hands so they tugged at his hair, his teeth clenched tight. “I put the stake up his heart and he choked and...and... _What have I done?!”_

_Shit!_ Trevor thought, at a loss. _Snap out of it!_ He grew desperate and nervous at the scene before him. Alucard wasn’t fibbing when he said he had lost his sensibilities, but it was far worse than Trevor anticipated. He didn’t know what to do, at every turn there was a new roadblock that Trevor couldn’t break through. Alucard was so entrenched in his grief he was clearly second guessing his actions in saving Wallachia. It wasn’t rational, and it intimidated Trevor to the core. He didn’t understand why Alucard couldn’t see _his dad was fucking Dracula._

Trevor would never see the world through Alucard’s eyes. He was trying _so damn hard_ to be empathetic. He was _trying_ to console, but he wasn’t any good at that either he supposed. Nothing he was doing was working to bring Alucard out of his trance. Trevor had already done a lot his dignity wouldn’t have let him a few months ago. He had one thing left up his sleeve, and _he hoped to God_ it worked.

_“Adrian Fahrenheit_ _Ţepeş,”_ Trevor said, his throat burning at the words, “snap the fuck out of it!”

Alucard blinked. He stared at Trevor and Trevor stared back. Alucard bit his lip with the tip of his fang and Trevor straightened his back just a bit more. The only sounds exchanged between them were their quickened breaths, their chests laboring due to their own conjured up angst. Trevor didn’t even process the fact his hand was still at Alucard’s shoulder. Alucard glanced to his lap.

“Y-You know my full name?” Alucard finally asked in a whisper.

Trevor scoffed, trying to brush off what just happened. _“Of course._ I’m wasn’t drunk when we first met. I can remember shit when I feel like it.”

“W-What’s happening to me?”

“You’re in grief. I’m _know_ there’s a lot more to it than that, but I’m stupid as fuck when it comes to these things, so I can’t tell you what exactly it is.”

“Just go, Belmont,” Alucard sighed. “You don’t have to waste your time babysitting me.”

“What happened to Trevor?” he blurted, immediately regretting his words. _Trevor, you stupid sack of shit!_ He cursed himself. Alucard stared at him with a look of confusion.

“What?”

“You called me Trevor. Did you not realize you did that?”

Alucard shook his head. He glanced down to his shoulder. Trevor was stunned, unable to move his own hand before Alucard moved his on top of it. He met his eyes.

“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care…” Alucard mumbled as if coming to revelation. “You wouldn’t be so _empathetic_ if you didn’t care either…”

Trevor’s skin burned. What could he possibly say to _that?_ His heart thumped at a rapid pace, and he hoped Alucard couldn’t feel it through the hand he was touching. Trevor _could_ be suave when it meant digging out of predicaments and scurrying away without having to admit anything. Yet, now he felt backed into a corner. This wasn’t a one nighter in the tavern, a priest in the back alley, or even Dracula himself. This was _Adrian Fahrenheit_ _Ţepeş._ Nothing was easy when it came to approaching the lurid, convoluted contradiction sitting before him.

So Trevor did what Trevor did best when he couldn’t come up with anything better: _He hauled ass._

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday, right?” Trevor said quickly, his tone nervous and urgent. “Well, me either. You wretched up your meal too, so...I’m going to hunt some game! Yeah, uh, go to bed or read a book or something. I’ll wake you when I have something good. See ya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at Trevor running away from his feelings. lol
> 
> Thank you so much for the feedback and kudos! I really appreciate it! :)


	5. Masked by Innocence

The door clicked shut. Adrian leaned back against the pillows and wiped his irritated eyes. Trevor up and left with a sense of urgency, and it perplexed Adrian to a degree. They were sitting on the bed, Adrian’s sensibilities in woe, Trevor's hand on his shoulder, then Trevor disappeared. Adrian brought his fist to his chin and sighed, his vision blurry. 

Trevor’s hand had been on his shoulder. Adrian straightened his back at the realization. Trevor wasn’t the comforting type, half of the time they had traveled Adrian thought he could give a damn less about what was going on. Sometimes it felt as though he was just biding time, and as a Belmont, was trained to throw a whip at things. Even after his father’s death, Trevor shrugged and looked him in the eye, saying,  _ “don’t get weepy about it.” _

Yet, that was a total 360 from where they were now. What changed? Adrian had changed right much, or rather, let loose the demons within him that had been in incubation for possibly years. He didn’t know how long he had been this way, not anymore. It all blended together under the guile of his perpetual anguish. It was always devising new ways to master his thoughts. As for Trevor, Adrian still couldn’t put his finger on what was different about him. Perhaps he was simply too tired, a brain weak did little to analyze anything. But, it felt _ different _ , and Adrian couldn’t help but feel that difference within him when they spent time together. 

The grandfather clock at the far side of room chimed. It was noon. Adrian closed his eyes for a few minutes, then snapped them open, his heart cracking in his chest. 

It was Tuesday. There were things to be done, things he  _ always _ did on this day of the week. 

Adrian rose from bed and put on his long coat and boots. He left his heirloom sword against the wall. Even if something managed to come after him, he had no energy within him to fight back. The sword was heavy on his hip, and just carrying it was too much effort. He opened the door and walked in a slow rhythm down the hallway. 

He made his way to his garden. It was really his mother’s garden, one that he had tended to with methodical obsession. The vibrancy of the space was a like a shining nebula against the monotone void of the rest of the castle. With his breathing short from trekking across the grounds, his began to pick at flowers. 

He picked a few white lilies. His mother loved white lilies, so much so she was painted in her portrait with them in hand. Next he picked some pink petunias. She loved those too, often keeping a vase of them at her work station in the alchemy lab or at the desk in her cabin. 

_ In her cabin… _

Adrian shook his head, trying to rid himself of the image his mind was trying to push on him. He sighed, his breath trembling, and continued his flower hunt. 

A few red roses were added to the mix. His father loved red roses, keeping them in vases in the library and in his parents’ bedroom. It was just as expected for a vampire, with its elegance and the subtle brooding of the petals when they began to weep. Finally, he tore away a few sunflowers, a bright juxtaposition to the dark roses beside them. These were some of his father’s favorites as well, and Adrian could never fully understand why. Perhaps they reminded him of someone. 

He stood, faltering a bit, and trudged on with his flower bunch in hand. 

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor huffed as he marched through the castle with purpose. He felt as though he had been tossed into hot water; he was sweating, his tongue was dry from his words, and his stomach a bit queasy. He was hungry, sure, but beyond that, he was uncomfortable. He had just witnessed something he hadn't expected to see, and to a point, it was haunting. Trevor thought to the ring around Alucard’s neck, trying to ignore the rest of the encounter. It was large, the chain snaking into the hollow middle space. Trevor furrowed his brow in thought. Was it his mother’s? It seemed a bit too large to be able to fit on the finger of a human woman. If it wasn’t hers, then it was…

“What?” Trevor mumbled aloud. “There’s no damn way…”

To say that Trevor was baffled would now be an understatement. He didn’t understand how Alucard could keep a ring that belonged to Dracula around his neck and close to his heart.  _ That shit’s cursed, _ Trevor mused.  _ Maybe that’s what is making Alucard sick.  _

Trevor knew that wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t dare admit it. Admitting that would mean admitting Alucard still held some sort of convoluted love towards Dracula, and wanted to keep his memory close by. It would also mean admitting Dracula was  _ somehow _ a good enough father and husband to be honored in such a way, despite what came at the end of his life. 

But wasn’t that impossible? Something irked Trevor, twisted in between all the complexities he couldn’t grasp. Alucard had said Draucla taught a human woman to be a doctor, and they chose to get married. Trevor had a hard time believing it all. It was Dracula, it had to be nefarious. He beguiled her, manipulated her into loving him. Or so Trevor assumed. 

He was within a huge castle, the place where Alucard had grown up and Dracula resided until his death. There were bound to be treasures of information within these walls. Trevor decided to investigate. 

After trailing through endless passages and hallways, Trevor found what he had in mind. It was a good-sized room, one he had been to before. He opened the creaky door and it caught on its rusty hinges. Trevor shoved on it and pushed his way through. His boots echoed in the empty, solemn space. 

It was a young boy’s bedroom. There was a bed at the far wall, a desk, a constellation wheel painted on the ceiling, a dresser, bookcases, and toys. It would luxury compared to what the peasant children have, but it was life when here lived the equivalent of a vampire prince. 

Trevor sniffed at the dust in the air. This was Alucard’s childhood room, there was nothing else it could be. This where Alucard staked Dracula, Trevor beheaded him, and Sypha set him aflame.  _ Wonderful memories, _ Trevor thought sarcastically.

When they were ending the battle with Dracula, Trevor hadn’t paid attention to what exactly this room was. He had to admit, at that point, he didn’t really give a damn either. It was where Dracula was, so that’s where Trevor rushed to. Yet, in the time he spent with Alucard recently, he had reflected on that moment. It was then he came to the realization of what this place was. And, of course, that meant Trevor was going to snoop. It was in Trevor’s _ Belmont  _ heritage, he always stuck his nose into things. Especially if it concerned Dracula in some manner. 

Trevor walked further into the room. He gazed down, noticing the subtle remnants of scorch marks on the floor. He grimaced. It was obvious Alucard had been the one to scrub at it without mercy, and it put a strange taste in Trevor’s mouth. He kept going in his investigation. 

He walked up to the bed on the far wall. It looked normal enough, the bed was made, a thin layer of dust on the sheets and pillows. He quickly noticed a peculiarity on one of the bedposts. One of them had a subtle crack about halfway down. Trevor crouched to get a better look. His eyes widened, and his dignity would forever deny the goosebumps on his arms. 

The bedpost had been reattached. Trevor tried to recall every small detail from Dracula's death, and remembered seeing Alucard driving a stake through his heart when he and Sypha rushed in. Of course, there wouldn’t be stakes conveniently hanging around a child’s bedroom.  He had noticed the bedpost was missing the first time he came here, but it wasn’t as if he had given a damn. 

Alucard had staked Dracula with a bedpost from his childhood bed. The original post had been burned by Sypha. That could only mean Alucard had remade it and tried to attach it as though nothing had ever happened. 

“Holy shit,” Trevor said aloud. He stood and turned, his eyes falling upon something that truly gave him chills. 

It was a large, oval portrait, within it three people. Man, woman, child. Trevor stared at it, his jaw slack.  _ Family Portrait,  _ he thought.  _ No fucking way.  _

Trevor shook his head in disbelief. How could he have missed this before? He had to remind himself of his harsh apathy, and guilt punched his gut. The whole room spoke of harsh brutality masked by childlike innocence, haunted by memories and swept away ash and blood. It was eerie, the whistling from the small draft in the window ringing in his ears. 

He studied the painting. The woman held the child in her arms and the man stood behind her, his hand on the child’s shoulder. The man had a pensive look in his eyes, the kind of expression that spoke of hard earned happiness. His expression was one of _contentment_. He was clearly a proud man, and that pride was rooted in his family - the wife and child. 

The woman held the same sort of look, though hers was less subtle. It was as if she was proud of accomplishing something near impossible, or perhaps, accomplished  _ many _ things of that aptitude. She was a lot smaller than the man behind her, but her presence wasn’t drowned out by him. She was a strong, intelligent, and insightful woman. Trevor could tell just by the look in her eyes.  

Then there was the child in the woman’s arms. He had a happy, innocent smile, his fist bunched around strands of her hair. He was tiny, no more than a few years old. His eyes bore straight into Trevor’s, straight into his soul. He’d recognize those lurid, supernatural irises anywhere. 

“Adrian…” Trevor mumbled, not realizing what he had said. He stared at the portrait, unable to tear away from the three sets of eyes facing him. 

It would be a while before he went to hunt game. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feels train is chugging along full speed. 
> 
> I couldn't help but include Adrian's childhood bedroom. There is just so much to go off of there, it's total angst fuel. 
> 
> Thank you so much for kudos and feedback! It really makes my day, I love chatting with y'all in the comments. :)


	6. The Man in the Portrait

The early afternoon was cloudy when Adrian stumbled from the stone memorial. He had set his flower bunch at the base, meticulously clearing away the decay of his last bunch. Now the site had a fresh sense of vibrancy, one Adrian tended to twice a week. He’d be back Saturday to do the same thing again. He had sat at the spot and mused for a while about everything and nothing. He was feeling sickly, wound up in his recollections again. After remembering the incident with his father giving him a bath, Adrian couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. He wanted to live in another life again, and there was one spot he desperately tried to keep safe in order for him to do so. It was drenched in horror, but Adrian was adamant he would erase it in favor of better days. The act of him trying was slowly driving him mad, but he was determined. He needed reprieve. He begged for it in his own sincere, brooding way. 

Adrian stood and wiped his trousers and coat of the dirt on them. He stared at the names on the stone, swallowing back his tears. He sighed, gazing down at the flower bunch on the ground. 

“I’m sorry, Mother,” he said. “You taught me not to use science to cause harm. You never told me that applied to the things I do to myself, but perhaps you should have. I-It’s not your fault. It’s obvious…. _ to everyone but me.” _

He sighed again, his arms dangling at his sides and his back hunch. “Father...I keep our family portrait pristine. It serves me well...to remember the man you were before you tore the Earth asunder.”

He turned and walked away, his lip trembling. He trudged back into the castle and through the winding passages, aiming to retreat into a space of better days. 

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor couldn’t bring himself to move from the portrait. His emotions regarding it were so convoluted it actually angered him. He had never felt this way staring at a picture before, he was never artistic, but this piece was on another level. He was angry, yet couldn’t put to words why. He was never good with vocabulary either. 

He knew it was Dracula, Lisa, and Adrian. This was long before a prophecy, long before  _ Alucard _ , a time where a far from ordinary family lived their lives as two parents and one child. A time when said family tended to their own and didn’t bother anyone.  _ A time of peace. _ Yet, Trevor still struggled to come to terms with it. 

Dracula looked content and happy.  _ This is bullshit, _ Trevor mused with frustration.  _ Dracula isn’t supposed to be happy. What the hell?  _ Despite that, the evidence to state the contrary was right before him, staring right into his soul. Trevor was on the defensive, even though it was a painting over a decade old. Dracula didn’t touch Adrian unless it meant he was hurting him.

But, this was a gentle touch. The touch of a dutiful father, one hand on his son’s shoulder out of pure pride and joy. He turned to Lisa. How could she love Dracula? How could she be married to him out of choice? It didn’t make sense. Then, there was the biggest contradiction of all,  _ Adrian.  _

Trevor was no spring chicken, he knew what had to happen between a man and woman for there to be a child shoved between them. He shivered, trying to push the mental image away. He wouldn’t dare admit it to anyone, but he always thought any explicit interaction between Dracula and a woman would involve dubious consent. Beyond that, _ how  _ an undead vampire could produce the components necessary to conceive a child was well beyond Trevor’s mental facilities. Yet, this portrait was the exact opposite of dubious. It was a loving couple. Loving couples usually ended up with a baby at some point, Trevor’s own parents had their own share of children. This display before him was entirely different from anything to be found in the Belmont hold. 

His eyes fell on Lisa again. He could feel what she felt for Adrian and Dracula just by the look in her eyes. It confused him. Despite that, her emotional energy for Adrian was something Trevor thought he and Lisa had in common, in a roundabout way. 

And he didn’t know what the hell that meant. He was never really smart with these things. 

Footsteps sounded behind him. Trevor stiffened, then turned around, trepidation in his heart. He came face to face with Alucard. Trevor cursed himself thrice over, 

_ Shit, shit, fucking shit! _

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian stood in his childhood bedroom, completely stunned. He wondered if his delirium had finally reached its climax, where he was imagining Trevor in places he wouldn’t be. Adrian blinked again, his heart beating painfully. This was what he was trying to make a humble, comforting place. It wasn’t going to be that way today. Adrian couldn’t suppress the trembles surfacing in his chest. He blinked a few times, but Trevor didn’t move. 

“W-What are you doing here?” Adrian managed to squeak out. His voice was weak, his whole stance vulnerable. 

Trevor shook his head. “I--I’m not here!” he said with an urgent, nervous tone. He walked towards the door. “I was never here.” 

He went to walk out of the door, but Adrian pushed his chest to stop him. Adrian winced. Trevor could shove his arm out of the way and stomp out, given Adrian’s feeble state it wouldn’t be difficult. The touch between them kept them in place, and it confirmed to Adrian that Trevor really _was_ there. Adrian’s hand shook against Trevor’s chest, wrapped around the fabric of his tunic. 

“Wh-Why are you here?” Adrian asked. 

“I was...uh, patrolling the area,” Trevor said, his hand going behind his head. “Yeah, just making sure everything’s calm.”

“You said you were going to hunt game.”

“W-Well, I wanted to do this first.”

Adrian squeezed Trevor’s tunic, though his grip was weak. Tears of panic hit his eyes, fear rooting itself in his heart. He clenched his teeth, his jaw throbbing with the force of his bite. “Y-You were looking at the portrait,” he said, his tone begging. “Please don’t destroy it! I--I can’t replace it…”

Trevor stared at him, his pupils wide and his lips slightly parted. He blinked. “I wasn’t--I wouldn’t--Why would I do that, Adrian? This isn’t even my home.”

“ _ Adrian.. _ .there it is again!”

“What?” Trevor furrowed his brow. 

“You keep calling me Adrian. Why?” Adrian whispered. The _why_ in things was driving him mad. There were too many questions, not enough answers. He couldn’t help but blame himself for that facet of his struggles. 

“Shit…” Trevor mumbled. He glanced away, his typical, stubborn look on his face. He puffed out air in a weak attempt to push a strand of hair from his eye. 

“Well?” 

“It was just...me not thinking about it. You startled me.” 

Adrian grit his teeth again, his fangs peering out from his lips. It should've looked menacing, but instead looked broken and sorrowful. “Why can’t you just be fucking honest, Trevor?!” he exclaimed. 

“W-Well…” Trevor said, stalling on his words, his face pale. Adrian grew impatient. 

_ “Be honest.” _

Trevor sighed. “Fine. I wanted to understand you better, that’s all.  _ That’s it. _ I wasn’t here to sabotage you, I promise.”

“What?” Adrian dropped the fist clutching Trevor’s tunic. His eyes were large and doe-like. He shook his head in disbelief. What reason could Trevor possibly have for wanting to understand him better? It seemed surreal, as if part of  Trevor had been drowned and replaced by something else. Something empathetic and _ thoughtful? _ Adrian was in disbelief. He had come here to try and escape, but instead had fallen into a trench much deeper. There were implications lurking around the corner he didn’t fully understand. 

“I want to understand it,” Trevor admitted, frustration in his voice. “Because I don’t understand how you could fucking love  _ Dracula _ , of all creatures. How could your mother could love him? I really don’t fucking get it. Like, maybe I’m just fucking stupid! Damn it, I’m  _ trying, _ Adrian. I want to help you, but this shit makes no sense. _At all.”_

Adrian stalled. His whole body trembled now, his stupor coming on in full force. He couldn’t comprehend someone wanting to understand him. No one on the outside had ever been interested in understanding him or his family. It was part of the reason the loss of his parents had been so brutal. They understood him, his unique wants and needs, in a way no one else did. Now that support had vanished, it cut deep, leaving Adrian alone in the void of his own misunderstandings of himself. Life was desolate in the wake of destruction. 

But, now there was someone trying to understand. It was incredible, Adrian understood that much, but his own suffering prevented from coming to terms with much more. He shook his head, overwhelmed by Trevor’s words. Tears spilled down his cheeks. 

“No one wants to understand me,” he mumbled. “Why would they? I’m a monster.”

“Shut up with that nonsense,” Trevor retorted, albeit with a soft voice. “Teach me, Adrian. Teach me,  _ please _ . If you don’t, you’re going to die, you’re going to fucking kill yourself. And I don’t want that.”

Adrian’s breath hitched and he covered his mouth to muffle his sob. He trembled, so much so his knees buckled underneath him. In such a frail state, any emotional revelation, whether it be positive or negative, overwhelmed his senses. His composure couldn’t handle much provocation. 

Trevor walked forward, and instead of putting his hand on Adrian’s shoulder, wrapped him in a tight embrace. Adrian cried into his shoulder. 


	7. Speak to Me

Trevor stiffened, his arms wrapped around Adrian’s upper back. He bit his lip. He wasn’t sure what drew him to embrace him, but he suspected that  _ urge _ was the culprit. He couldn’t stand to see Adrian’s suffering, and though a simple embrace wouldn’t take the pain away, it could at least help. Adrian trembled in his arms, and Trevor swallowed, a strange feeling rooted deep in his stomach. 

Adrian shifted, his forehead pressing against the exposed skin of Trevor’s neck. Trevor let go a breath he hadn’t realized he held in, the contact foreign to him. He couldn’t help it when his skin flushed, the contact uncomfortable to his stubbornness. 

_ This doesn’t mean anything, _ he mused.  _ Nope, nope, nope.  _

The only sound in the room was from Adrian’s sniffles. Trevor winced as he felt the limp body in his arms. Adrian was so frail, he was like a sheet of parchment laid against him. He couldn’t even hold himself upright, the anguish in his heart and mind having domain over every facet of his life. It was the most unsettling thing Trevor had seen in a long while. 

Trevor’s neck burned. He clenched his teeth and turned his chin downward. He gazed at Adrian, the room absent of all noise. Trevor sighed, his mouth dry. He adjusted his shoulder, but Adrian didn’t seem to notice. 

How things had come to this point, Trevor would never know. He wondered what his ancestor’s would think if they could see him cradling the limp, vampiric son of Dracula in his arms. Beyond that, what would they think if they saw that a  _ Belmont _ was caring for him? If they could  _ sense  _ his convoluted emotions in regards to everything? 

Trevor shivered. He shoved his thoughts away. “Hey,” he mumbled, “Adrian.”

Adrian didn’t respond. Trevor’s breathing quickened. He carefully pushed some of the long strands of blonde away from his face. His eyes were closed. 

“Adrian,” Trevor said. Adrian groaned. 

“T-Trevor…” he whispered, his voice devoid of life. 

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t feel so well…”

Trevor’s hand swiped the side of Adrian’s face. He stiffened again. “Holy shit, you’re burning.”

“It’s cold, Trevor…”

“Fuck,” Trevor whispered. He hoisted Adrian into his arms bridal-style. He carried him down the hall and back to his chambers. Trevor couldn’t admit to himself, but he was terrified. 

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian panted as he leaned back against the pillows of his bed. He was freezing cold, but the sweat on his skin made it too uncomfortable to cover himself in blankets. Nausea crept up in his stomach, each tide accompanied by a cramp in his chest. Strands of his hair stuck to his jaw and forehead. It was miserable. 

If this had been the first time this happened it would’ve been a blatant lie. Adrian was humiliated, but if Trevor questioned him he wouldn’t have it in him to hide the truth. Not now, not anymore. 

“Hey,” Trevor said, a shape edge to his voice. He stood rigid at the bedside. “What’s wrong?”

Adrian swallowed, his mouth dry. He squeezed his eyes shut, shame adding to the intensity of sweat on his skin. His weak fist squeezed as much as it could  muster. “Sometimes when I take a--a... _dosage_ , it takes a few days to exhibit symptoms, a reaction to the substance if you will--”

Trevor cut off his explanation with panicked eyes. “Oh God--”

“No, Trevor,” Adrian interrupted again, “it means I  _ failed _ and now my failure will wreak havoc on my body. This is a reaction from a dosage I took the day before you came here.”

“Is there something I can do?”

“There is a tincture in the alchemy lab. It’s on the far shelf,  the glass bottle is labeled  _ Stingher.  _ It’s a mixture I made to help with this part of the process.”

Trevor grimaced. “This is the last fucking time, Adrian. Last. Fucking. Time.”

Adrian was drinking down the dosage of tincture before he could entirely process what happened in his childhood bedroom. He was a bit perplexed, his interpretation of time was either extremely flawed or Trevor had ran to the alchemy lab and back with vigor. Adrian couldn’t tell, but he could see Trevor’s stern gaze bearing into his soul. He squirmed and sighed. 

“That tincture makes me fall asleep quite fast…” he mumbled, already feeling his body going light. 

“Alright,” said Trevor with a nod, “I’ll be here.”

“T-Thank--” Before Adrian finished, he was unconscious. 

 

**~*~**

 

The room was dim with the subtle flicker of the fireplace. The walls were dark red, the trimmings shining ebony. Bookshelves lines the space, the curtain at the large window wrapped back with a golden tassel. A lone chair sat in front of the fireplace, tall and regal, yet unassuming in its own way. It was quiet, the crackle from the fireplace a vague addition to the ambiance. 

Adrian stood in the doorway, his fists clenched. The nape of his neck was warm, the feeling of his presence being known causing goosebumps on his forearms. He let his head hang as shifting fabric came from in front of the back of the chair. 

“Approach, Adrian,” a voice said from the chair. Adrian walked forward, his boots clicking against the wood flooring. He stood next to the arm of the chair, coming face to face with his father. 

Vlad had his hands wrapped around each arm, his palms curled around the edges. He was slouched, staring with an absent, woeful gaze into the fireplace. Adrian swallowed, his heart thumping in his throat. 

“Yes, Father?” he asked. 

Vlad sighed. He glanced to the window. “I’m disappointed in you, Son.”

Fear struck Adrian’s chest. His hands trembled. “M-May I ask why?”

“You were a miracle child!” Vlad exclaimed. “Even now, I can’t quite figure out why you even _ exist.  _ There were times I had to drain the fluid from your lungs as a newborn and assist your breathing. I once fed you every half hour for seventy-two hours straight because your body malnourished itself and you were inching towards death. Yet, despite it all, you grew older to be a healthy young man. After all this, all we went through to bequeath you _ life _ , and you go and try to snuff it out.”

Adrian swallowed the bile that rose into his throat. He shook his head, shock and anguish filling his eyes with dread. His whole body trembled now, shame and humiliation coupled with the pure intimidation he felt from his father staring him down. Adrian could tell he was angry, but this wasn’t the violent type of anger. It was the anger of hurt. 

“Y-You were the one who was suicidal!” Adrian retorted, his voice weak. Vlad shot him a stark glare that caused him to hunch back, his arms curling towards his chest. 

“Be careful of how you speak to your father,” Vlad chided. He stood, his figure towering over Adrian. “I don’t know what manner of nonsense you’re filling that head of yours with, but I’ve  _ never _ been suicidal. What reason is there to act that way? Your mother and I are  _ right here. _ We’ve given you everything we can. If you need something all you have to do is speak! Why did you let it get to this point? How do you think your mother will feel when she finds out you’ve been using the alchemy lab to concoct poisons you plan to ingest?” 

Adrian choked on his words, shrinking in the presence of his father’s lurid gaze. He turned his head, unable to meet his eyes. His chest labored, his body gearing up in defense. He bit his lip to prevent it from quivering. Vlad put his hands on Adrian’s shoulders and shook them lightly, his expression full of begging. 

“Speak to me, Adrian!” he said. “Tell me what it is you need. I can’t do anything about it if you don’t speak up.”

“F-Father…” Adrian stuttered. “I-I need help.  _ I need help.” _

Vlad squeezed his shoulders. “I know, Son. I know.”

“I’m sorry,” he cried. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Allow me to take care of you as you deserve.”

Adrian nodded, wiping his cheeks as the tears fell. He looked up to see his mother in the doorway. Her breath hitched, it clear on her face she had been listening to them the entire time. She walked across the room, her boots clicking fast as she covered the space between them. She wrapped him in a tight embrace. He held onto her as his father’s fingers ran through his hair. Through his upset, he heard her whisper,

_ “I’m right here, Adrian.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrian's dream sequence is vaguely based off a scene in season 2 where Godbrand speaks to Draucla in his study. Godbrand questions Dracula's judgement and Dracula intimidates him. This is like the angsty family version of that with more feels and less threatening. lol
> 
> Thank you so much for the feedback and kudos! It makes my day! :)


	8. Opportunity

Trevor frowned as he watched Adrian sleep. He had been knocked cold within two minutes of drinking the tincture, and Trevor hadn’t yet found the time to process everything that had gone on in the past few hours. Events were following on the heels of each other, and each moment he thought he could try to think, something else appeared to roadblock him. Trevor grunted. At least now he could get some time to allow his mind to wander, though he wasn’t sure what good it would do him. He was struggling to get Adrian to do what  _ he _ wanted him to. Not that Trevor was trying to be selfish or overbearing, but the  _ urge _ was fueling his motives. All he wanted Adrian to do was speak up. It seemed every time Trevor found that he needed something, it was only because it was forced out of him. If he could get him to say something a little beforehand, perhaps they could make some progress. 

He needed to be patient, he reminded himself. It hadn’t been long, and the short time they had been together had been stressful. Trevor had never really been a patient man. 

Trevor sighed and walked around the room. He walked over to the far side of the room, where a long bookshelf with glass doors stood with the chair he had sat in the day prior. He peered inside, where the shelves were sparse with a few groups of hardbacks. One group labeled  _ Dhampir Anecdotes _ caught Trevor’s eye. He raised his brow. 

_ Could it be Adrian’s…? _ Trevor thought. He placed his hand on the knob. Adrian would probably be distraught if he found Trevor snooping through personal writings, Trevor knew. He turned around and looked to Adrian, who was still knocked cold in a deep sleep. He bit his lip. He needed help, and Trevor didn’t know how to lend it. It frustrated him being this helpless. Trevor was a Belmont, Belmonts always had a plan. Yet, here he drew up blanks. 

What he needed was information. He needed to understand, or at least try to, Adrian’s life before they met. It was what was fueling his anguish. Trevor could see a cycle brimming on the horizon:  _ Adrian feels mental anguish, then gets physically ill and confined to bed. Trevor goes off fetching whatever he needs to get him moving around again only for the anguish to come back given a few days. Rinse, wash, repeat. _ The thought gave Trevor chills. He needed to break the cycle. They had already been gone a few rounds of it, and it was enough for Trevor to grow desperate to find a solution. 

Trevor turned the knob and opened the door. He reached for the book titled:  _ Dhampir Anecdotes Vol. I. _ He opened it to the first entry and began to read, hungry for whatever information he could find. His eyes skid across the page.

 

_ 16 February, 1456 Anno Domini, _

_  My son, Adrian Fahrenheit Ţepeş was born just before dawn. He was born underweight and premature at 32 weeks gestation. He is small and sickly, though I cannot yet discern what to grow concerned over and what is simply a manifestation of his vampiric nature. He was not breathing upon birth, and I had to drain fluid from his lungs and assist his breathing. His is doing it on his own now, but I must monitor him closely and assist him again if need be. What is dangerous for a human child and what is for him differ, and that in itself is convoluted. True Dhampir nature is poorly recorded in texts and lacks proper scientific study. I intended to make my own observations, both anecdotally and experimentally.  _

_ The birth was grueling on the mother’s body. Lisa was in labor for a few days before this, yet we were not fully aware that was the case until just last night. She also needs close care due to excessive bleeding at birth. My work is cut out for me. _

 

“Shit,” Trevor mumbled, a strange taste in his mouth, “the title was misleading as hell.” He glanced over to Adrian. He shifted in his sleep and turned on his side so he was facing Trevor. Trevor stiffened.  _ I don’t have much time, _ he thought. He put the first volume back and grabbed the second, flipping it open. He read another entry:

 

_ 24 July 1470 Anno Domini,  _

_ Adrian is a strong young boy. His physicality is healthy, yet aspects of his strength, vision, and agility are superior to that of a normal human teen. He has inherited many of my vampiric abilities, those which I have recorded him attempting to grasp at different stages over the years. He has perfected the shift into the wolf, which he has been trying to master for many years now. It appears to be his favorite creature to shift into, and I rarely see him in another form unless I request it. I am proud of him for respecting his vampirism. I have worked to teach him this respect since he was a small child. He is finally beginning to comprehend the wider implications of it.  _

_ Despite this progress, there is one thing that hinders him. I suspect it comes from his human traits, for it is not something a vampire often experiences in the nature he does. He often gets anxious at various times, seemingly at random, and often for no reason in particular. However, there are times where he has an articulated reason he feels causes it, and during these times, the anxiousness worsens. Some instances cause him to be confined to bed with weak physicality.  However, sometimes it’s a struggle to get him to communicate this anxiousness is ailing him until it has already begun to run its course, furthering the challenge of observing this phenomenon and helping him. _

_ I must further research what this condition humans term “anxiety” is.  _

 

“Fuck,” Trevor sighed. He put the book back on the shelf when Adrian shifted again. The glass door closed, Trevor walking over to the bed on sitting on it. “You’ve been this way a long time, you asshole,” he said, his tone soft. 

Trevor swallowed, the strange taste still lingering. Dracula was alive within the very walls of the castle, every turn he would run into him again. He couldn’t seem to get away from the virulent creature, even though he was already dead. The eerie part was those entries and the painting both reflected an entirely different person than the one Trevor fought against. It gave the impression of a careful, intelligent man that wished to further knowledge while looking after his family. If Trevor didn’t know any better, he would swear up and down Vlad and Dracula weren’t the same person. He huffed. His brain hurt trying to think everything through. 

_Sometimes it’s a struggle to get him to communicate this anxiousness is ailing him,_ Trevor echoed in his mind. He furrowed his brow, convoluted feelings surfacing within him. It was exactly what Trevor had been struggling with since he had arrived, yet it was perfectly articulated. Trevor could never quite put his finger on it, only garnering that Adrian needed to speak up. Vlad had described exactly what Trevor had been experiencing. 

A rock fell into the pit of his stomach. He realized that he and Dracula could actually agree on something, which was a jarring concept. He never thought he’d see the day: caring for Dracula’s son, then  _ agreeing _ with Dracula when he described what said son’s ailments were and the challenges that came with them. Trevor swallowed acid and shifted on the bed. His eyes lulled and he decided to lie down at the empty spot beside Adrian. He stared at Adrain’s back, studying the blonde hair splayed across the pillows and sheets. 

“Fuck, this is so  _ difficult, _ ” he mumbled to himself. “Seriously tough shit. Fucking nighthoardes are easier to handle.  _ Damn it.” _

Adrian’s shoulder trembled, but he was still fast asleep. Trevor sighed and cupped it, rubbing his thumb across the fabric of his shirt. His fingers pushed strands of Adrian’s hair down his torso. Trevor massaged it and the shakes settled down and disappeared. He frowned, a hint of guilt coming through him. _ If I hadn’t left, _ he thought.  _ I should’ve just stayed to take care of the Belmont Hold. It would’ve given me an excuse to look after him. But how the hell was I supposed to know? _

“Speak to me, Adrian,” he whispered. “Tell me what it is you need. I can’t do anything about it if you don’t speak up.” He paused, sighing again. “It’s not your fault. Allow me to take care of you as you deserve.”

A couple minutes went by. Trevor dropped his hand and turned on his back to stare at the ceiling, his palm at the back of his head. He groaned and brought his ankle up, crossing it over his knee to form a triangle. 

“Just let me do this, you beautiful bastard,” he mumbled again before dozing off

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian hated the vivid dreams drinking the tincture gave him.

However, this one had to be by far the worst.

His eyes shot open, his breathing already heavy. His heart throbbed, his chest aching under the pressure. It was as if a snake had snuck into his chest and wrapped around his lungs, squeezing the air and life out of them. None of it was logical, as it was all rooted in his emotional influxes. It didn’t matter. In the heat of the flames, Adrian couldn’t rationalize anything. All he saw in front of him was despair. The feeling of choking gripped his throat. He became aware of his breathing to the point where he convinced himself each deep breath he took wasn’t enough. He was adamant he was suffocating. Acid thrashed in his stomach. His hands and body trembled, but no amount of blankets would do anything for him. He gasped, turning his head to take in his surroundings.

Waking up in a panic was the most agonizing way for Adrian to experience an attack. At least when he was awake and doing something, he could feel the signs of it coming on as a bit of a warning. If he woke with it, then it was already in full force, exercising it’s virulent control of his mechanisms. There was nothing he could do to prepare for it.

He spotted Trevor dozing beside him. In his haze and desperation, he called out to him. He pushed on his shoulder.

“Trevor,” he said in a frantic tone, “Trevor, help me. Please help me.”

Trevor’s eyes snapped open. He leaned up and faced Adrian, worry in his brow. “What’s wrong?”

“I--I--” He gasped, struggling to articulate himself. “I--I can’t...it’s hard too...Ah, I need to get out of here.” He rose, rushing to the balcony doors and throwing them open. He rushed outside and leaned against the balcony. Trevor scrambled after him. He caught Adrian’s hair and pulled his back as he wretched over the edge. Tears of strain pricked Adrian’s eyes, his stomach throbbing from the outburst. He clutched the railing.

“Breathe, Adrian,” Trevor said behind him. “Just breathe.”

Adrian listened to Trevor repeat the same soft command over and over again until he had calmed down. The attack ebbed, leaving his body torn to shreds in its wake. He wiped his face of the water dampening his cheeks and rubbed his eyes. Trevor let go of his hair as Adrian turned around to face him. They stared at each other, Adrian’s eyes sunken. He sighed, trying to push away the vivid dream that had triggered his anxiousness. He wished he could just forget dreams like most humans did, but he had a sharp memory he inherited from his father. He was cursed to remember everything, whether or wished to or not.

“Is this anxiety?” Trevor asked, his tone blank. Adrian stared at him, shocked Trevor would ask such a thing.

“W-What?” mumbled Adrian. He brushed fingers through his knotted hair.

“Is this anxiety?” Trevor asked again in the same monotone voice.

“How would you know about such a term?”

“Does it fucking matter? I just know it, alright? Answer the question.”

“Fine, but first I want to know: do you think this resembles it? As someone looking on from the outside, I mean.”

Trevor shrugged, clearly at a loss on what to say. “I don’t know. You know I’m not smart with these things.”

“Huh,” Adrian said, furrowing his brow. “The study of anxiety is very esoteric. The church, and by default most humans, would tell you anxiousness is the devil taking foot in your soul and that you are possessed.”

“Sounds fucking stupid, as per usual,” Trevor scoffed.

“Does the Belmont Hold have texts discussing anxiety?”

“Not that I know of.”

“What about the Speakers?”

“Don’t know,” Trevor huffed. “This isn’t answering my original question. You’re stalling.”

Adrian’s eyes widened. He was miffed Trevor would suggest such a thing. “I’m not _stalling._ I’m trying to figure you out, and I think I have.”

Trevor crossed his arms. “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Enlighten me, then.”

Adrian narrowed his eyes. He was still weak from his anguish, but the adrenaline from it was fueling his agitation. “You were reading texts here at the castle. There is some information written on it in the library, but it’s not labelled under anxiety, or anything close to that term, so you wouldn’t know to look for it. What’s more likely is you were reading through the journals in the cabinet while I was sleeping, all without my knowledge.”

“Damn,” Trevor sighed. “How the hell did you figure that out?”

“So it is true.”

“Yeah, I read through it. So the hell what?”

“So the hell what?” Adrian retorted. “Those are my journals. They are private and shouldn’t be looked at without my permission!”

“I read your father’s books. He’s dead, so it’s not like it matters if I read it or not, right?”

“It matters!”

Trevor returned the narrow gaze. “Why?”

Adrian squirmed. “Because it’s personal.”

“I think you were scared I would find out this has been a long term issue for you. This didn’t just start when your parents passed, but it did get a whole hell of a lot worse. Why hide that, Adrian?”

“I…” Adrian hung his head. He had no words to say in return. Trevor sighed.

“Why can’t you just speak up? I’m not going to get angry with you. And it’s sure as hell nothing to be embarrassed about. I want to help you, but I can’t do a damn thing about something I don’t know shit about.”

“It’s not as simple as speaking up…”

“I know. But you have to start somewhere. Just _talk_ to me.”

Adrian frowned. He grew confused. He couldn’t discern Trevor’s true intentions, which put him on edge. Perhaps he was too mentally exhausted to piece it together, but not knowing where he stood with Trevor made him uncomfortable. He couldn’t “speak up” with Trevor when he had foggy feelings in regard to him, and it was clear Trevor had the same. Adrian squeezed the railing. It was Trevor’s turn to speak up. Adrian wanted answers from him. It was one aspect of his life that _could_ get cleared up and put to ease. He had to seize the opportunity.

“Why are doing this Trevor?” asked Adrian. “What motivates you to spend your time caring for me? There is more here than meets the eye. You’ve delved into my deepest kept secrets, _my ailments_. Now it’s time for you to return the favor.”

Trevor stiffened. He stalled, licking his lower lip. “W-Well...it’s because your my comrade in arms.”

“That it?” Adrian said, his tone vulnerable. He cursed his inability to hide his emotions.

“Y-Yeah, I mean, we served in a war together, right?” Trevor said, putting his hand behind his head. His face was pale. “Veterans have to look after their own. Plus, there's a rumor there is a vampire named Carmilla dredging up forces and may attack in a few years. I might, uh ...need your help again! Yeah. Vampire hunting and all. You’re good at that.”

Adrian was hurt to the core. Tears of frustration welled up in his eyes and burned him. His anger mixed with pure sorrow, his heart quaking under the stress. He clenched his teeth, his voice a weak, guttural hiss. “You only care about “helping” me so you can use me again later? After all I’ve shown you! I...I...I’ve been so vulnerable to you...this can’t be…”

A surge of anger washed him. His adrenaline overhauled his decision making. Adrian walked toward Trevor. He got closer, lifted his knee, and kicked straight at his groin. It wasn’t a very powerful kick by his standards, but it was enough to have Trevor doubling over with a hiss of his own.

“Fuck you, Trevor Belmont,” Adrian snarled. His legs grew weak. He’d soon need to retreat back to bed at the rate he was reacting.

Trevor groaned. “Why can’t people leave my testicles alone?” he grumbled. Adrian scoffed.

“Get out!”

“N-No!” Trevor exclaimed. He stood up a little, but was still hunched. “Fuck, fuck...that was a lie. I was lying about the comrade thing. Sorry.”

“What?” Adrian shook his head. “Why lie? I thought we were trying to be honest with each other.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you, just shut up and listen,” Trevor said, his face flushed. “I came back because I wanted to see you again. Sypha suggested it, sure, but I was planning on coming back anyways. I left you the Belmont Hold because I trust you in more ways than I can describe. I trust you more than I do myself. Even now.

“I hate seeing you this way, Adrian. It’s fucking painful to watch. I’m stupid as hell when it comes to consoling people, but I’m trying because...because I care about you. And...and…” He huffed and shook his head. “Ugh, must emotions always be so damn vexing?!”

Adrian stayed silent. Trevor took the opportunity to finish.

“I don’t want you to see me as someone you can’t approach. Having your family gone is fucking torture. I know, I’ve lived it. I still live it. I want to be the person you can come to...forever…” He paused and shook his head. “There, are you happy now?! _Shit…”_

It was quiet between them, the wind rustling into the open door. Adrian was stunned, too overstimulated to articulate himself. He wanted to believe this all along, yet considered it too high hopes to bother with. His hopes had come true, but he was far too spent to relay he felt the same way. Adrian frowned. This would slip through his fingers if he took a misstep. If Trevor left him alone, he’d truly be lost to the eternal void. He clenched his hands into fists, pushed to say a short statement he hoped would get his point across. He inhaled, trying to calm his heart.

“I--I love you,” Adrain mumbled. “I have for a long time.”


	9. Show Me

_ Holy fucking shit, _ thought Trevor. 

If there was one thing that made him truly vulnerable, it was the dreaded testicle kick. It hadn’t been the first time he’d been kneed in that area, but this had to be by far the most adrenaline inducing. Not even in tavern fights where chairs and punches were thrown did he feel this riled up. 

In order to get him to admit to things, all someone had to do was hit hard enough in his groin, and information would spill from his mouth. The last time this happened, he remembered his exact words quite clearly:  _ I’m Trevor Belmont. House Belmont. Last son of the Belmont family.  _

Trevor Belmont, the same man who was tussling in tavern fights six months earlier, and this is where his he had ended up: keeled over, thighs pressed together, admitting how much he cared for Dracula’s  _ son. _ It was surreal, but Adrian’s response was the clencher. Trevor didn’t feel as though he was in reality. Fighting a  _ cyclops  _ alone felt more real than this. He stared at Adrian’s vulnerable expression with bewilderment in his own. 

_ Christ,  _ he thought.  _ How do I respond to this?! _

His groin throbbed, but it wasn't as intense as the throb of trepidation in his chest. His interpretation of time would have him believe it had been a decade since the words had tumbled from Adrian’s mouth, but it had really only been twenty-seconds. He blinked, trying to come back to reality. 

_ The Belmonts fought monsters, son, _ Trevor remembered telling a rowdy tavern patron. 

Did they fall in love with their children, too? 

Trevor winced. Adrian shook his head, panic rising again in his irises. He let go of the balcony railing and rushed toward the door. 

“I--I--I’ve lost my sensibilities,” he said with a frantic tone. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Trevor said, grabbing his bicep as he tried to walk by, “I have some things to say…”

Adrian stared at him. The petrified look in his eyes made Trevor nauseas. He understood that fear: Adrian had admitted another one of his deep secrets, and Trevor had yet to reveal his. Trevor already knew the implications of what came next while Adrian had to wait in his anxiety-ridden state. 

Trevor could put at least that fear to rest, if only he could open his  _ damn mouth  _ already. At the same time, he grew nervous putting to rest one fear would sprout twenty more in its place. With all these thoughts, Trevor was stalling. He knew it, and felt guilty. He tugged on Adrian’s arm and pulled him closer. Adrian stumbled, his brow furrowed and his lucid eyes glossy with tears. Trevor’s breathing grew short, and he spit out the first thing that came to his mind. After all, he had been stalling, which meant his thoughts were devoid of anything. 

“You don’t have to run anymore, Adrian,” Trevor said, staring straight in Adrian’s gaze. 

Adrian’s breath hitched. “W-What?”

“You’ve been running from this for years. You don’t have to anymore.” Trevor swallowed down his fears, continuing his thoughts. “I want to help you fight this, Adrian, and, damn it, I  _ will.  _ I don’t even know what the hell it is, but we’ll figure it out. We may fail time and time again, but it’s better to fight than step aside and let it topple you.”

“My father spent years trying to figure it out…” Adrian mumbled, glancing down. “He had made some progress, but it was slow… My mother tried too, but she claimed she was never good at studying mental ailments…”

“We’ll pick up where he left off.”

Adrian shook his head, shock in his eyes and his jaw slack. “Tr-Trevor,” he exhaled, “you can’t be serious!”

“I’m absolutely fucking serious,” Trevor said. He put his hands on Adrian’s shoulders. “I am nowhere near the caliber your father was when it comes to intellect, but that sure as hell isn’t going to stop me from trying.”

“Why are you choosing to do this, Trevor?”

“Because…”

“Because?”

“Because I love you.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian shook his head. His ears were deceiving him, there was no other plausible explanation. He bit his lip, staring straight into Trevor’s eyes. They stared at each other, neither of them saying anything. Trevor gave his arm a gentle squeeze. He blinked. 

“Does me loving you scare you?” he asked in a blank tone. 

“Y-Yes…” Adrian admitted. He couldn’t help but live in fear of change. The past few months of change had wreaked havoc upon his physical and mental states, so he had grown wary of welcoming more of it. He had no way of knowing what changes would be beneficial to him and those that wouldn’t. Therefore, he didn’t want to welcome in _ any _ of them. 

“Why?”

“Because, one day, I might find I’m actually happy. If you stay at my side, there’s a chance you’ll drag me out of this. Perhaps, with enough work, I’ll smile when I wake up one day and it’ll be because you helped get me there. And...I don’t know why, but that scares me.”

Trevor sighed. He cupped both of Adrian’s shoulders and turned him so they were face-to-face. “Adrian…” he said softly, “I know being happy sounds fucking scary. You must wonder, if you get to that place of content, will you be leaving your past behind and everyone that was in it? It that it?”

Adrian nodded. He bit his quivering lip. Trevor moved his hands to cup his jawline.  

“Being happy doesn’t mean you leave your parents behind,” he continued. “It doesn’t mean you forget the pain either. You’ll always live with that pain, but this is all about making those days that are better than others worth living through the bullshit.”

“Show me,” Adrian mumbled, clenching his fists, “please show me, Trevor.”

“I’m going to try. But, you have to teach me first. Teach me about your experiences, past and present. If this anxiety is a monster, then I’m going to need a bestiary to combat it. So put one together for me. For the both of us.”

“Alright. I will.”

“Good. And one more thing…”

“What is it?”

“Let’s agree on no more testicle kicks.”

Adrian chuckled. “Alright.”

 

**~*~**

 

The crackling of the fire in the kitchen was warm on Adrian’s face. He sat at the long table across from Trevor, watching him knead dough. Flour puffed into the air between them. Trevor sniffed and blew the particles away, then continued his motions. Adrian got lost in the rhythmic movements of his hands, his eyes following every tug and pull. 

“I never knew Trevor Belmont could make baking bread seem like an art,” he mumbled. He was musing aloud, but failed to realize he’d spoken his thoughts outright. He also failed to notice Trevor’s face flush. 

“Hey, I’m no baker,” he said, “but I can get crafty when I need to be.”

“How did you learn to do this?”

“I worked for a baker when I was a teen. I needed coin, and he’d give it to me if I helped him knead the bread and bake it. He also gave me the stale leftovers, so I never went hungry.”

“I never would’ve guessed.”

“Me either. Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess.”

Adrian frowned. He swallowed, and continued to watch him knead. “You should tell me about your struggles as well, Trevor.”

Trevor grunted and slapped more flour onto his hands. “Maybe someday, but not today.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t need you worried about more things you don’t have control over.”

“I can’t argue with that…” Adrian turned his head to the fire and bit his lip. He wanted to be there for Trevor. If they were to love each other, then he wanted that love to be equal. He didn’t know what it meant to be equal in love, but he felt guilty due to his perceptions of it anyways. He tapped his fingers on the table absentmindedly and put one fist on his chin.

“Hey,” Trevor said, trying to turn Adrian’s chin with his hand, “you look down. What’s going on?”

“Hm?” Adrian turned. “Oh, nothing. I tend to space out a lot these days.”

“You tend to think a lot too, which seems to get you in trouble sometimes,” Trevor replied. He raised his brows in surprise. “Shit, I got flour on your face.”

“What?” Adrian leaned back and felt his cheek. Flour coated his fingertips. 

Trevor grabbed a cloth and leaned over the table, wiping Adrian’s cheek. He grimaced as flour puffed into the air. “Damn it, _fuck,_ I’m making it worse!”

Adrian felt the flour sticking to his chin and cheek. He studied Trevor’s frantic gaze and couldn’t help but chuckle. After everything they had been through thus far, and everything they would go through going forward, getting frantic over flour seemed trivial. It was comical, and for the first time in months, his heart lightened up a small bit. He rose and went to the other side of the kitchen and fetched a clean cloth. He wiped it over his face. 

“Look at Trevor Belmont,” he said with a playful tone, “getting frantic over some spilled flour.”

“It’s not fun when this shit gets up your nose, trust me,” Trevor responded, returning a playful tone of his own. 

Adrian gave him a small smile. “Did you notice it’s already all over your face?”

“It is?! Damn it!”

“Here,” Adrian said. He wiped the cloth over Trevor’s face. Trevor flushed and skirted his eyes away. He threw the kneaded dough onto the tray and walked it over to hearth on the other side of the room. He slid it in and sat on the bench at the long table, his fist on his cheek. 

“It’ll take about forty minutes or so,” he mumbled, his face pale. 

“Alright. There’s wine in the cellar we can have with it.”

“Really? That’s fucking fantastic.”

“Of course you would say that.”


	10. Spectrum of Potential

When the bread was finished baking, Adrian set out two plates and goblets. He went into the cellar and picked a bottle of red wine, pouring both goblets full with the crimson liquid. Trevor cut the bread into pieces and placed them onto the plates. It was a small dinner, but it was enough given the limited supplies of the castle kitchen. 

They sat across from each other at the long table. Adrian tore a piece of his bread and dipped it into the wine, taking a small bite. Trevor grabbed his slice whole and took a gnawing bite of it, ripping into it with his teeth. He washed it down with a gulp. Adrian chuckled. 

“You eat like a barbarian, Trevor,” he teased. 

“And you eat like a pompous prince,” Trevor teased back. 

“Fair enough.”

They both chuckled. The air settled between them as they ate their meal. Trevor finished eating and poured himself another glass of wine. Adrian nibbled at his bread, only half-eaten. He was hungry, but he had to take his time when he ate. His stomach was now so small he had to pace himself when he ate or drank anything. Trevor folded his arms on the table. 

“Hey, Adrian,” he said.

“Yes?” Adrian responded.

“Can you tell me about the first time you experienced one of these attacks? If you don’t feel like it right now, I understand.”

Adrian sighed. “Yes. I don’t have much issue with sharing it.”

“Thank you. You can stop talking about it whenever you want.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian walked down the winding staircase on the far side of the castle. He was coming from the spire, where he would often go to read or draw during the day. The Wallachian landscape was an infinite muse, especially when it basked in the sunlight. Adrian would always get inspired by it, either creating art or writing a story or two. 

His thirteenth birthday had just passed, and with it, his father had offered to teach him more advanced features of his vampirism. Vlad was rigid in his lessons, he wished for them to practice every day. However, during the teaching he was an understanding mentor, forgiving of mistakes and quick to explain things as many times as Adrian needed it. He had never gotten frustrated with Adrian, even when it took him a while to grasp tough concepts. The only thing he expected was for him to try and make the effort daily. Adrian didn’t mind it. 

It was just passed sundown when Adrian met his father in the courtyard. The area was lit with long candles in standing holders that resembled candelabras on stakes. A few torches lit on their own as he walked passed them. Adrian walked up his father sitting on one of the benches. He put down the book he was reading and stood. 

“Good evening, Adrian,” Vlad said. 

Adrian stared up at him. He felt like a weed standing next to giant oak tree. He craned his neck and nodded. “Good evening, Father.”

“We are going to practice your shifting ability today. I’ll allow you to pick what it is, but we must stay consistent with your pick for the duration of today’s lesson. Do you have anything in mind?”

“I was thinking about a wolf. Is that alright, Father?”

Vlad gave him a small smile. “Of course. A wise choice, I might add.”

Adrian flushed at the subtle praise. Vlad was conservative with how often he gave a compliment, and even so, it was always vague. Over the years, Adrian had learned to read between the lines to discover when his father was pleased with him. It wasn’t often he expressed it, and when he did, it made Adrian’s cheeks warm with joy. 

“I want you to shift as you normally would. Afterward, I’ll show you how to use this particular form to your advantage. Of course, you can use this shift to defend yourself, but there are many other uses for it. Never limit your knowledge to one facet in your spectrum of potential.”

“Why is it not wise to focus on one particular facet until you are a master of it?”

“Your abilities will be unbalanced. You need a wide range of knowledge to be ready for any situation. Say you know how to hunt for food, but never learned to fight or vice versa. If you only focus on one you won’t be ready when the other occurs. A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than master of just one. It’ll do you good to remember that.”

“Yes, Father.”

Vlad nodded. “Go ahead and shift.”

Adrian nodded back. He went to use his shifting ability, but stalled just before he went to do it. An uneasy trepidation filled his heart and trickled down into his stomach. He was queasy, a sudden wave of trembles in his arms and legs. He shook his head and tried to shift again, but when he did, the fear only intensified. His breathing grew short in his throat. He tried to take a deep breath, but it felt as though his lungs had closed its shutters. His heart thumped so hard he could feel his fingers and toes throb. He exhaled, his breath shaking. 

“F-Father…” he mumbled. He placed his hand over his chest and hunched over. It was difficult to breathe, and all his mind could tell him was that he was going to die. He wanted to run off, run to  _ somewhere, _ but he was paralyzed. “I can’t do it…” he admitted. 

Vlad furrowed his brow. “Why not? Have you forgotten? Would you like me to show you again?”

“No…” A few tears fell down his cheeks. “I c-can’t breathe, Father…”

“What?!” Vlad was on his knees in a second, his hands on Adrian’s shoulders. He pressed two fingers to the side of his neck. “Your pulse is extremely fast.”

“Father, I’m scared…” Adrian cried. He trembled and wiped his eyes. 

Vlad scooped him up in his arms and rushed out of the courtyard. “Try your best to breathe, Adrian.”

 

**~*~**

 

The door to the alchemy lab was pushed open by Vlad’s shoulder, Adrian nestled into his chest. The fear had not settled down, and, somehow, it felt worse now than it did in the courtyard. He trembled, hot flashes spreading across his goosebump-ridden arms. Vlad carried him across the room. 

“Lisa!” he exclaimed. 

Lisa turned around from where she was tinkering with a tincture. She furrowed her brow when she faced them. 

“He’s having trouble breathing,” Vlad said. He placed him on the table. Lisa’s eyes widened and she scrambled, gathering supplies in a large cabinet. Vlad lifted Adrian’s head and placed a pillow under it, checking his pulse once again. “His heartbeat is over a hundred beat per minute.”

“Adrian, honey, talk to us,” Lisa said, spreading out her supplies. “Tell us what you’re feeling.”

“I-It’s hard to breathe...my heart’s fast...My stomach hurts and I c-can’t stop shaking! I’m scared, Mama…”Adrian choked on his breath and covered his eyes. Vlad grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his face. Lisa shined a light in both pupils. 

“We’re going to help,” Lisa responded. Her eyes were full of worry as she grabbed a tourniquet and wrapped it around Adrian’s arm. She grabbed a fine needle. “I’m going to put this in your arm, okay?”

Adrian shook his head, his fears worsening. “No, Mama!” he cried. “Please, Mama, no!

“I’m sorry, baby, but it must be done.”

“Stay still, Adrian,” Vlad said softly. He took Adrian’s arm so it remained straight. Adrian turned his head away, but listened to his father’s words. He felt a pinch, then something cool flowed through his veins. A piece of adhesive was placed on the bend of his arm. 

“I’m going to give him a relaxant. Hopefully it’ll calm his heart rate so I can take a listen to his lungs,” Lisa said. She walked across the room and threw open a drawer, returning with a vile. 

Adrian didn’t see what she did next, but after a few minutes, he could feel his body growing heavy. His heart slowed down and his stomach stopped cramping. He was still trembling a bit, but it was less intense than it was before. His breathing grew more consistent, and he could take deep breaths. He glanced to his parents with half-lidded eyes and licked his lip. Vlad left the table-side and returned with a glass of water. He pressed it to Adrian’s mouth and held it as he drank a few mouthfuls. Lisa pressed one of her medical tools to his chest and listened. She furrowed her brow. 

“His lungs sound fine,” she said. She put her hand on her chin. “He looks normal now, albeit exhausted. What could this be?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps we should move him to his room and investigate further.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian sighed as he came out of his recollection. “My parents searched my father’s repository of knowledge for the answer of what caused that incident,” he said. “They found the symptoms matched the term  _ anxiety.  _ My father began studying the mental aspects of it vigorously while my mother took note of my body’s physical changes during an attack. I’ve tried to continue their work, but I struggle to separate myself from the observations. I have too much stock in the manner, and knowing how it impacts me makes it extremely difficult to study without bias.”

“Damn,” Trevor sighed with him. “You were young.”

“I was…” Adrian nodded. He frowned. Trevor was the first person he had shared his experience with. He thought it would make him feel ashamed, but it was oddly comforting to have an ear to his troubles. 

“You were close to him, weren’t you?” 

The question caught Adrian off-guard. He knew what he  _ wanted  _ to say, but he wasn’t sure if it was what he _ should  _ say. He stalled, letting his gaze fall to his half-eaten meal. 

“It’s okay to say it, Adrian.”

“Yes,” Adrian admitted. A huge weight lifted from his shoulders. “I was.”

“What went wrong?”

“I don’t know, Trevor,” Adrian said with a shaking voice, “and it kills me.”

Trevor moved from his spot at the other side of the table. He walked around and sat beside Adrian. He leaned on the table to make better eye-contact with him. 

“Hey,” he said, “you know I don’t understand this shit. I’ve had a hard time understanding  _ why _ you love him. I’m starting to put the pieces together, but I’ll never see him the way you do. And, you know what? I’m not supposed to. It’s just not my experience. My experience with your father is a hell of a lot different than yours. That’s fine. It is what it is.”

“Should I be ashamed of I how I feel?”

“What? No.” Trevor shook his head. He wrapped his arm around Adrian’s shoulder. “You feel how you feel. I don’t know how the fuck you would change that, and I’m not sure you could even if you tried. So, we’ve just got to learn to accept it. Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean you’re condoning actions. Those are two separate things, trust me. People can love what you do and hate you or they can love you and hate what you do. It doesn’t make any damn sense to me, but I’ve lived it enough.”

Adrian looked over to him. “You’re a lot more intuitive of the world around you than you think, Trevor. Give yourself some recognition for that.”

“Me?” Trevor said with a raised brow. “Nah. I’m stupid as fuck when it comes to philosophical  _ this-is-why-things-are-they-the-way-they-are _ shit.”

“I’ll convince you one day.”

“Good luck trying.”

Adrian chuckled. He leaned toward Trevor and gave him a soft kiss on his cheekbone. He wanted to say t _ hank you, _ but merely saying the words aloud didn’t seem enough. Having his love reciprocated and accepted was something he never imagined could happen, and he was grateful. It didn’t mean they would become fawning lovebirds overnight, if ever, but it  _ did _ mean they would see each other in a different light from here onward. There was a wide spectrum of potential for their relationship, and Adrian wasn't sure what that meant or where it could lead. 

Trevor had been more than patient with him, and continued to exercise empathy and care. Adrian couldn’t ask for more. He was struggling, but at least someone was there to support him. He didn’t have to navigate the labyrinth alone. 

He put his head on Trevor’s shoulder. They enjoyed the quiet, the crackling from the fireplace filling the space. This moment was reprieve from Adrian’s suffering. He took it in and appreciated it. Were these the moments Trevor said were worth living through the  _ ‘bullshit’ _ for?

Adrian wasn’t sure yet, but this moment felt like it might be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for writing both flashbacks and people sharing meals together. I'm not sure why. lol
> 
> Thank you for all the feedback and kudos! I'm so happy this story is being enjoyed! It really makes my day. :)


	11. Positive Affirmations

Trevor and Adrian flipped through books in the castle library. There was information on anxiety scattered in different hardbacks, and Trevor was adamant they find all the information and compile it into one notebook. Adrian no reason to disagree, so here they were. 

Adrian wouldn’t admit it, but he was a bit bored sifting through all the material. Boredom had seeped deep into his bones lately, and when his brain lacked stimulation, he fell into troublesome thoughts. He took a deep breath and read over the information on the page. He had read it twenty times over, yet none of it was registering with him. He sighed and marked the page with a slip of paper, walking it across the room. He placed it on a table where they were collecting any book that mentioned what they were looking for. Adrian sat on one of the sofas and picked a different book up. He casually flipped through it. 

He held it up, trying to focus. From above the edges of the hardback, he spotted Trevor scribbling something into a blank book. Adrian flushed, his eyes falling back to the pages. Trevor was going through all this effort for _him,_ and the thought made his skin warm. It had flustered him ever since the first day Trevor had shown up, where in his bath Trevor brushed through his hair. He had been confused at the time, but now it made more sense. Trevor cared, he always had. He cared enough to go out of his comfort zone, even if it meant researching and taking notes. 

Adrian watched him as he scribbled. He held the book closer to his face. Was Adrian... _ blushing? _ It was impossible. He used to blush when his mother squeezed his cheeks as a small boy, but that was it. Yet, here, watching Trevor scribble notes in a journal, the sound of his quill following him, Adrian couldn’t help but feel his cheeks redden.

He had never been with another before. He always traveled the land alone, especially after his parents died. Before then, he spent his time with them. They understood him, they loved him, and they enjoyed his presence. He felt no need to seek companionship. At the time, it seemed more effort than it was worth: a human would never fully understand him, or who he was. Neither would they respect it. 

He now stood corrected. 

Trevor had stumbled into his life out of nowhere, literally falling down a hole just to run into him. When Adrian remembered them fighting upon first meeting, it filled him with a strange emotion. If only they had known what would become of them…

“Hey,” Trevor said, his tone blank, “have you ever heard of these...uh...positive affirmation things?”

“Hm?” Adrian hummed. He snapped out of his thoughts. “Positive affirmations? What of them?”

“A suggested method for helping get yourself through an attack is positive affirmations. But it doesn’t say what that means.”

“It supposed to be positive statements that help combat self-sabotaging thoughts, at least that’s what I recall.”

“Damn. You know everything.”

“I grew up with two intellectual thinkers for parents,” Adrian chuckled. 

Trevor twirled his quill around, the feather swiping his chin. “So it’s just saying something positive?”

“I think so? I’m not sure what the exact method of it is. If we find some examples of it, we should be sure to list them as reference.”

“Seems simple enough.” Trevor closed the book he was reading from. He grabbed another from the stack and flipped it open. Adrian returned to flipping through his book as the room fell silent. They sat like this for a while, Trevor’s quill-strokes the sound in the quiet between them. Adrian  spaced out while looking at the pages, but wasn’t thinking of anything in particular. Trevor snapped him out of his trance.

“Hey, Adrian,” he said. “I think you’re sexy.”

Adrian dropped the book into his lap. The corner dug into his thigh and he grimaced. His heart thumped in his forehead, every inch of his skin aflame. He licked his dry lips. “W-What?” he stuttered. 

“What?” Trevor furrowed his brow. “You said these  _ positive affirmations _ were supposed to be something positive!”

“I think  _ that’s _ more of a compliment…”

“What’s the difference?”

Adrian shook his head, his hair hiding his face. “I don’t know…”

Trevor grunted. He paused for a moment, the air heavy between them. He put his quill down. “Okay, I’ve got another one,” he said. 

“There’s no telling what’s going to come out of your mouth…”

“Hey, Adrian,” Trevor started over, “just remember: everyone  _ else _ is a piece of shit.”

“You’re really not good at this…”

“I thought that was pretty good!” Trevor exclaimed. “Why don’t you try to come up with one so I know what you’re looking for.”

“Alright…” Adrian thought a moment. He sighed, saying aloud the first thing that came to mind. “Trevor, I think you’re beautiful.”

Trevor’s face reddened, his jaw slack. “That’s a compliment!”

“I don’t know! I don’t know what the answer is!” Adrian flushed, embarrassment in his tone. He came to the realization of what he said and it flustered him.  _ Did I really say that!?  _ he thought. It was too late to take it back, not that he wanted to. He just never thought he’d be comfortable enough with Trevor to speak such a thought aloud. Yet, here he was. Life was strange indeed. 

“Damn…” Trevor trailed. He furrowed his brow. “Do you mean that?”

“Mean what?” Adrian asked. 

“That you think I’m beautiful.”

“Yes.” Adrian blushed, brushing through his hair. “Do you--Do you  _ really _ think I’m sexy?”

“Hell yeah.”

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor stared at the bookshelf behind where Adrian was sitting. He couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes. He wasn’t sure what caused him to tell Adrian he was sexy, of all things, but he had said it. He sure as hell meant it, but should he have said it at this moment?

It was too late to debate it. It was out in the open now. There wasn’t a damn thing Trevor could do but embrace it. He hoped he didn’t embarrass Adrian too much, he wasn’t sure how much a compliment of being _ sexy  _ would resonate with him. Trevor was guessing it wouldn’t be much. 

He  _ had _ to be Adrian’s first love interest, he was sure of it. He wasn’t sure how to ask, and he supposed it didn’t matter, but he was curious to know anyway. Adrian was vulnerable in so many areas, he’d hate for that vulnerability to somehow negatively impact how he viewed himself in regards to their relationship. It was one thing to be nervous, everyone was when first starting out, but Trevor was worried he’d self-sabotage. Trevor wanted their relationship to be a safe zone, a place where Adrian felt _ secure,  _ but he didn’t know yet how to accomplish that. 

Silence had fallen between them again. Trevor turned back to making his notes, Adrian’s nose in a hardback. After a while, Adrian closed his book and set it aside. He rose and brushed some of the dust off his trousers. He cleared his throat. 

“I’m going to lie down for a while,” Adrian said as he stood. Trevor glanced over at him. 

“You feeling okay?” he asked, worry in his tone. 

“Well...my stomach’s cramping. It’s uncomfortable but not too painful.”

“It’s enough for you to want to go to bed.”

“I’m just tired…”

Trevor sighed. He put his chin on his fist and contemplated for a moment. He came to a revelation, one he was quite proud of. “I don’t think you’re eating enough,” he said. 

Adrian absentmindedly looked down to his abdomen. “Do you think so?”

“Yeah. How many meals do you eat a day?”

“Just one.”

“There’s the answer to your energy problem. And probably your cramps, too.”

“Yes, perhaps you’re right…”

Trevor shut his book, returning the quill to its resting spot. He stood, walking in front of Adrian. He put his hands on his shoulders. “There’s not much to work with here. Let’s go into town and pick out fresh ingredients to cook with.”

“You mean  _ go _ to the market?” 

“Yeah. What do you say?”

Adrian stiffened. His heart pounded at the thought of going to a market full of humans. He exhaled and clenched his fist, shaking his head. Sweat formed at the nape of his neck, and he desperately tried to push away the emotions stabbing into his mind. 

“N-No, Trevor…” he mumbled. “Could I ask you to go alone? I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine, no worries.” Trevor shrugged and headed toward the door. “I’m going to head out.”

Adrian watched him reach the doorframe and step through it. He stepped forward and called out to him. “W-Wait,” he said, “Trevor!”

Trevor halted and turned around. He leaned his arm on the door. “Hm?”

“C-Can I be honest with you?”

“Anytime.”

“There’s a reason I’m not comfortable going to the market,” he admitted. “It’s not just because I don’t feel well, but that certainly plays into it.”

“Oh?” Trevor raised his brow. “Would you like to tell me about it?”

“Yes, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Trevor walked back into the room and sat on the sofa. Adrian followed. Talking about this particular subject was going to be his most difficult conversation yet, but he knew he needed to face it in order to move forward. Trevor was now his confidant, the one trying _everything_ to help him get better. He deserved to know as much as Adrian could tell him, and Adrian deserved to have the burden lifted off his shoulders, even if just a bit. 


	12. Son of Dracula

The market streets were still crowded, though it was just past sunset. It was mid-winter, the sun dipping below the horizon sooner than a few months prior. Adrian held his mother’s hand and followed her through the sea of people. The lanterns were being lit, and the areas of the street still cast in darkness were difficult to navigate. Adrian walked alongside his mother, his father was close behind. Vlad's presence towered over many of the other townsfolk, but none seem to mind, and if they did, dared not say anything. 

The family crossed into a section of the market that was lit. Lisa scanned over fresh produce, picking up a few items. She paid for them, and placed them into a basket hooked around her arm. She peered inside the basket and frowned. 

“I forgot to buy thyme at the herb vendors,” she said with a frown. “The plant I was keeping died, and I ran out of my persevere store.”

“I’ll go back and purchase some for you, my dear,” Vlad said, his voice monotone. He turned around and headed deeper into the crowd with a swift step. 

“Th--” Lisa began, then stopped with a sigh. “He sets off so fast, I don’t have time to add much else once he’s made his mind.” She turned to her son. “Adrian, do you see anything you’d like?”

“I liked that beginner’s alchemy set a few stalls back,” Adrian said, pointing down the street. 

“I’ll keep that in mind. You’re thirteenth birthday is coming up, you know,” she chuckled with a wink. “How about this: did you see any  _ food _ you’d like?”

“Shortbread cookies in the next stall over.”

“Not the most health conscious thing, but I did ask you what you liked.” Lisa nodded with a soft smile. “Alright, take me to them. I’ll get you a half dozen to take home.”

Adrian smiled with excitement and tugged on Lisa’s hand. He lead her toward the next stall, but bumped into an older man before he got there. He stumbled back a step, pushing into the folds of Lisa’s dress. 

“I’m sorry,” Adrian said to the man. The man sneered and put his head up. 

“I guess it’s fine…” he huffed. He stared into Adrian’s eyes. “What’s gone wrong with your eyes? Have you got the plague?”

“What? My eyes feel fine.”

_ “Adrian,” _ Lisa said, trying to hush him. “I’m sorry, sir. We’ll be on our way.”

The man stopped them by stepping in their way. His robes flowed with him. Adrian studied them a moment, and finally recognized the design. This was no ordinary townsman. He was a  _ man of the cloth.  _

Adrian didn’t know much of the church. His parents were both science-driven intellectuals, they each had their ideologies regarding spirituality or lack thereof. They had given Adrian room to explore belief systems, and made it clear early on he was free to choose whatever he wished to follow. However, despite this freedom, he was following in his parents’ footsteps. 

There was another reason Adrian didn’t know much of the church: his parents had always taught him to stay away from priests. When in the market, he was told not to speak to them or make eye-contact with them. 

Yet, now he had ran right into one of them. He wasn’t sure what came next. 

“No, you stop here,” the priest commanded. He put his hand out. “Open your mouth, boy.”

“Adrian, don’t,” Lisa said, pulling him back toward her. 

“This child’s got  _ demon teeth!” _ the priest exclaimed with a snarl. “And putrid, golden eyes!”

“He’s just a child!” Lisa spit at him, yanking Adrian behind her. 

“A child he is!” the priest retorted. “A child of Satan!”

A few passerby’s halted at the commotion. When they heard the priest’s claims, they gasped and covered their mouths. A few tried to peer behind Lisa to sneak a peek at Adrian. Adrian made eye-contact with a few townsfolk, and when he did, they cowered and covered their eyes. Some began crossing themselves and chanting prayers. The priest stepped behind Lisa and yanked him from her hold. Adrian yelped, the grip of the priest tight against his thin wrist. 

“Citizens! Look at this virulent beast!” the priest said, projecting his voice. He held Adrian’s arm up to lift his upper torso. Adrian protested, kicking at the priest with all his might. He managed to elbow him in the chest, but when his grip loosened, two other priests came from behind the crowd and gripped his arms. He kept kicking, but it was no use. He had resources he could use, his vampiric abilities, but in the moment, all his knowledge was lost to him. Paralyzed with terror, all he could do was kick and scream. 

“This is what a spawn of Satan looks like! Look close! Do not let an innocent demeanor fool you!” the priest continued. “Satan uses our kindness for our children against us! He knows we would never seek harm on a child. But this is no child!"

Lisa held a pocket knife in her trembling hand, her eyes skirting between the priests and her son. The audience around them scowled and screamed at them, spitting insults and chants. 

“You think that knife can take on all of us, woman?!” the priests sneered. “You’re the mother, right? You had an affair with a demon and birthed a beast, you _whoring witch.”_

The grips on Adrian’s arms began to throb. Hot tears flowed down his cheeks. “Mama!” he cried. “Help me! They’re hurting me, Mama, please!”

Lisa shook her head, panic in her eyes. “He’s going to kill you!” she exclaimed. “He’s come so far, don’t make him do it.”

“What? We are more powerful than a hellspawn,” the priest spat. “Citizens! Gather your stakes! Set the tallest at the center square! We burn this demon to ash  _ tonight.  _ We will show Satan he has no place in our land!”

The crowd cheered. Lisa screamed, Adrian’s cries drowned out by the fervent nature of the group surrounding him. He knew what burning at the stake meant, he had come across it in a few fictional books as well as historical texts. He tried to thrash again, but it was no use. It had expended all his energy on panic and tears. 

Before any further action could be taken, one of the priests gripping Adrian faltered. He let go of his grip. The group gasped and shouted. Adrian turned and saw his father holding a thick, wooden pole. He followed its path straight through the priest’s chest. He gasped, blood spilling onto the cobblestone street and filling the cracks at his feet. Vlad let go of the pole and let the dying priest tumble to the ground. The other hand holding Adrian’s arm was released. He ran to Lisa and she wrapped her arms around him. Despite being reunited, they were still surrounded. 

The clouds above turned the shade of ebony. Crimson droplets fell from the heavens and soaked into the clothing of everyone standing around. Adrian shivered as it stained his hair and buried his head into Lisa’s cloak, watching through a small slit in the fabric. Many of the townsfolk scattered, but the two living priests remained. 

“You  _ dare _ touch my son?” Vlad hissed at them. 

“Satan!” one of them yelled. 

“It’s not Satan you’re dealing with, you fool.”

Before they could respond, Vlad swiped one of their throats with his hand. It left thick gashes, deep enough the priest couldn’t choke out a scream. Vlad stepped forward and grabbed him, bringing his throat to his mouth and sinking his teeth in. He tore away, dark crimson at his lips. The remaining priest tried to run, but it was fruitless. Vlad grabbed his head and snapped it back with supernatural strength, the man lifeless in an instant. When he turned around, the square was empty save for the three of them and the corpses of those who dared cross Vlad Dracula  Ţepeş.

Adrian stared in terrorized awe, his clothing soaked by bloodletting from above. 

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian was trembling by the time he finished speaking his recollection aloud. He hadn’t even elaborated on the shock he endured once he returned to the castle that night, or his parents’ fervent debate on whether or not he could live among humans. They had each taken a passionate side on the subject, each parent wanting their son to live life the best he could while protecting him all the same. They had never agreed on it. Adrian had made his decision, agreeing with his father without meaning to:

_ He would never live among the humans. _ He could help them, he could save them from genocide, but he couldn’t be one of them. He could hear his mother’s heart breaking in the back of his mind, but, as Adrian thought,  _ that’s life.   _ There wasn’t anything he could do about it. 

“My father had never shown me his prowess in that way. He had shielded me from violence until that day. That display was something I was never meant to witness, not as a child, anyway. That day, any efforts of my parents to raise me as a child capable of interacting with society shattered. I was barred to the castle for my own safety. News spread Satan and his son were roaming Wallachia, accompanied by a human witch,” Adrian explained, his voice hoarse. 

“Holy shit…” Trevor mumbled. His arm had wrapped around Adrian’s shoulders at some point, but Adrian wasn’t sure when. “They deserved to bleed through their asses.”

“I’ve never told anyone that,” Adrian admitted, “but I trust you. And I thought it would help add a piece to the puzzle that is my entire mental state.”

“It’s played a role, I’m sure. I just don’t know where it fits in the larger picture.”

“It triggered the attacks, I’m sure of it,” Adrian sighed. He tried to calm his heart. “It was a few months after that I experienced my first one. After that, I knew I wasn’t normal. Of course, my father had taught me to respect my vampirism since I was a toddler, but I never understood  _ how _ that made me different. I spent my entire teenage years with the understanding I was a beast to the outside world.”

“Damn. There’s a lot to unpack here,” Trevor said. “But this is a start. Thank you, Adrian. I know that wasn’t easy to tell me, but it’ll help you in the long term, I promise.”

“I-I hope so…” Adrian wiped a few stray tears that had formed in his eyes. He gripped the fabric of his trousers. Trevor cupped Adrian’s jawline and turned his head gently. They made eye-contact, Adrian’s stare weak and vulnerable. Trevor exhaled and placed a soft kiss of his forehead. 

“Let me get you up to bed so you can get some rest while I’m gone,” Trevor said. 

Adrian nodded, his eyes lulling. 

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Adrian. This story is torturing him. :0
> 
> One of the definitions for "Dracula" is "devil", so there's some play on words in the title. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments & kudos. They make my day every time I see a notification in my inbox. :)


	13. Contact

Trevor hated this. Every time he learned more to Adrian’s past, the more helpless he felt. There was more under the surface than he could’ve ever imagined. Part of him felt guilty he acted so antagonistic when they first met, but he couldn’t change any of it. He wished there was some way he could’ve saved Lisa, if she were spared, none of these dominoes would have toppled on top of each other. He never even knew her, but the lack of her presence had left a gaping hole in the land. Trevor could sense it, especially in Adrian. 

He could also sense Adrian’s confliction of mourning his father. Trevor would be the last person to be sorry Dracula was dead, but he couldn’t help but admit the deep wound it had inflicted on Adrian’s mind and soul. Everything Adrian had shared showed a man who cared for his family, and wanted to discover what the world around them had to offer. It was what Trevor had seen in the expressions of the family portrait, but then he had been too stubborn to fully accept it. 

He never thought he’d find himself  _ agreeing _ with Dracula. They agreed on Adrian’s tendency to not speak up when he was bothered, and Trevor had no qualms with him ripping a priest’s throat out when Adrian was twelve. Trevor shivered. He didn’t know where he was going, but there was no turning back. He loved Adrian too much. 

As he walked along the path to the nearest town, anything and everything on his mind. There had to be a way to quell Adrian’s suffering. The castle they were staying in was full of technology and information. He’d find it, even if Adrian became too unwell to help him. He had to. 

 

**~*~**

 

“Hey, Adrian.”

Adrian stirred from his sleep. He turned his head from his head from where he was lying on his side. Trevor stood over him, a fresh plate of food on the nightstand and his hand on Adrian’s shoulder. Adrian rubbed his irritated eyes, hunger stabbing at his stomach. He leaned up in bed and smiled. 

“Thank you, Trevor,” he said, taking the plate into his lap. 

Trevor smiled back. He walked to the other side of the bed with a plate of his own and joined Adrian. He stabbed at cooked vegetables and shoved them in his mouth. He crunched on them, his own hunger sated by the feeling of food in his mouth. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he last ate a substantial meal. He groaned with satisfaction as he took a bite of the fresh deer meat he had smoked in the castle kitchen.

“You’re quite pleased with your cooking abilities, I see,” Adrian chuckled. He took a bit of the meat and chewed slowly. 

“Hell yeah,” Trevor said in between a bite, “either I’m that good or I’m just that damn hungry.”

“I think you are that good.”

Trevor smiled. “Thanks, baby.” 

Adrian flushed. He stared down at his plate, his heart thudding. He swallowed, taking a sip of water. He never imagined Trevor to be one to use endearments. However, when Adrian thought it through, it made sense: they had always nicknames for each other spanning back to the first time they met, starting with Trevor calling him  _ Vampire Jesus.  _

Why did it feel so different now? Now it was out of affection, and it filled Adrian with strange emotions. Yet, despite the strangeness, he _liked_ what he was feeling. 

Trevor paled and turned his head away. He was worried: was he moving too fast? Was he making Adrian uncomfortable? That was the last thing he wanted to do, he already shouldered a lot of guilt, he didn’t want to worsen it. He had called many a tavern fling _baby,_ but this was different. This was deliberate and heartfelt, though it was subtle. It was far different from a drunken pass at a bed partner as lustful and eager as him. Trevor frowned. Adrian was on a different level than his past flings, it almost felt wrong calling them the same nicknames. Despite that, showing his affection in subtle ways like this felt  _ good. _

“Feel free to use the bath if you wish,” Adrian said, taking a small bite of his meal. His cheeks were pink. 

“What? Do I stink?” Trevor said, making a motion to sniff his armpit. Adrian furrowed his brow and chuckled. 

“No, I just haven’t seen you use it, I thought you might.”

“You don’t have to lie, Adrian. I fucking stink. Damn.” Trevor frowned. He didn’t realize how repugnant he smelled. He supposed he got that way hiking to town and back, but he had been blind to it. 

“Okay, maybe a little,” Adrian chuckled again. He had a slight smile on his lips. 

Trevor smiled back. _ I love that smile,  _ he thought.  _ I want to see it more often. And more of it.   _ He finished his meal, and took Adrian’s mostly empty plate. He washed up in the kitchen and headed to the bath. 

 

**~*~**

 

The water was warm, steam rising slowly into the air. Trevor dipped in and his muscles instantly relaxed. He sunk down so his nose nearly touched the water and blew a few bubbles. He sat there, taking in the warmth and cleansing it was giving him. His mind began to wander. 

Adrian was peculiar in all the best ways. He was the classiest person Trevor had ever met, he had grace, not to mention he was absolutely stunning. Even at rock bottom, Trevor couldn’t help but _stare_ at him. He hoped Adrian hadn’t noticed. Trevor had denied his feelings for so long, and it wasn’t until they were forced out of him that he admitted them to himself. Now, he had dove in head first. 

He wanted to take things further, he really did. Yet, he knew he had to go at Adrian’s pace, and he was alright with that. He wouldn’t admit he had fantasized them kissing on the way to the market. Just thinking those things felt like invading Adrian’s privacy. 

Trevor shook the thought away. He had bigger challenges at hand. He had to figure out how to help Adrian recover. He thought through everything Adrian had told him up to this point, sorting information and picking through things he thought were most useful. 

There had to be a way to combat it. Trevor couldn’t just hug him during an attack and expect Adrian to come through it unscathed. His presence helped Adrian immensely, but it wasn’t a cure. Trevor was determined to find something that could help calm an attack or even prevent it at onset. But what?

He huffed, the water bubbling around him. He was frustrated at himself. Solving something as complex as this wasn’t going to be easy, but he felt as though he was making no headway. Something Adrian had said  _ had _ to give some insight. The challenge was figuring out what it was. 

Suddenly, an epiphany hit him. Adrian had mentioned Lisa giving him something that helped calm him during his first attack. What was it? Trevor couldn’t remember, but it held a clue. Was it something they could use now?

Trevor rose out of the tub and dried off. He dressed, brushing his fingers through his hair. He walked out of the bath to see Adrian reading through a book in bed. 

“Adrian,” Trevor said. He sat on the edge of the bed. “What did your mother give you the first time you had an attack?”

“What?” Adrian closed his book and furrowed his brow. 

“You said she stuck a needle in your arm and gave you something that calmed you down. What  _ was _ that?”

“It was relaxant. What about it?”

“Can we use that to help you when you have an attack?”

Adrian frowned. “That was a high dosage. I don’t think it would be feasible for long term use.”

“What if you cut the dosage down?”

Adrian’s eyes widened. “W-Well...perhaps...that might work.”

“Let’s give it a try,” Trevor said, his tone hopeful. 

“Yes, tomorrow let’s begin to experiment with it. We have nothing to lose,” Adrian sighed, his breath shaky. “Trevor, you’re a genius. I never thought of that as a possible option.”

“At least I’m good for something.”

“You’re good for a great deal of things.” Adrian put his arms around Trevor’s shoulders and peered into his eyes. “Thank you. I’m so grateful you’re here, that you’ve stayed, and  _ love me.  _ It’s all so surreal…”

“It’s all a bit surreal for me, too.”

Adrian flushed, his eyes skirting around Trevor’s face. His cheeks were pink, the tint bright against his pale skin. He moved one hand to cup Trevor’s jaw. Trevor dared not move, his heart pulsing through his skull at the gentle contact. Adrian stared at his chin and lips, his thumb rubbing into Trevor’s skin. Trevor exhaled. Adrian leaned forward and allowed their lips to brush. 

Trevor was stiff and still, the contact of Adrian’s lips on his an unexpected surprise. He had never had the courage to pursue such a display of affection, he never wanted to make Adrian uncomfortable. He didn’t even need to pursue it after all, Adrian took the initiative on his own. Trevor was stunned at this realization. 

“I’m sorry,” Adrian mumbled, turning his head, “I’ve just wanted that to happen for a long while now. I--I shouldn’t have invaded your space like that…”

“No!” Trevor exclaimed, trying to turn Adrian’s notions around. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been wanting that for really long fucking time. I just never knew the right moment to pursue it.”

“O-Oh…” Adrian blushed a deeper red. “So that wasn’t a bother?”

“Of course not.”

“That’s a relief...I don’t know what came over me. I’ve come to see my words mean a great deal, but so do actions. I wanted to...show you my affection and how grateful I am for you.”

Trevor smirked through his blush. “Well, that did the trick.”

Adrian leaned forward into Trevor’s chest. Trevor wrapped his arm around him. He rubbed his upper back and shoulder blades. Adrian sighed at the touch. 

“There’s much to sort through, but I think experimenting with the relaxant is a start,” Adrian said. “Though, talking through these things has already helped me a great deal. There’s a lot I need to come to accept. Acceptance may not stop the attacks, but it’ll do much to cleanse a lot of my mental state.”

“What can we do to start you on that road?” Trevor asked, his nose in Adrian’s hair. 

“I need to return to my childhood bedroom and make peace with all that’s happened there. Everything, from good to bad to ugly. I need to accept all of it happened and there’s no changing any of it. It’ll take work, but I’m willing.”

“You’re not alone, remember. You’re not getting rid of this asshole right here.”

“I wouldn’t want to, Trevor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First kisssss <3
> 
> This is a transition chapter for the next arc of the story, where they actively pursue solutions. The first part has been more of figuring out what's going and now they have enough knowledge to act. I hope you're enjoying so far! Thank you so much for all the kudos and feedback!! :)


	14. The Relaxant

The alchemy lab had a slight chill to it. Adrian sighed and tugged his coat over his chest. His frail stature had lead him to be more susceptible to temperature changes. He rubbed his upper arms. Trevor walked up behind him and slung his arm over his shoulder. 

“So, where do we start?” he said nonchalantly as he gazed around the lab. 

“I think we should start with measuring the relaxant. The dosage I had when I was younger wouldn’t work now, it was tailored to my body as a twelve year old boy. I must calculate a dose that would calm an attack completely, then cut it down from there. I should also do research on the derivatives of the relaxant itself and research  _ those _ individually. Also, substances related to those derivatives should be looked into…” Adrian rambled, losing himself in musings. 

Trevor furrowed his brow. “Huh?” he mumbled. “Let’s start step by step.”

“Alright.” Adrian nodded. 

“Step one: you are not doing this alone. We, Adrian.  _ We.” _

Adrian nodded again. Trevor continued. 

“Step two: All that other stuff you said.”

Adrian chuckled and brought his hand up to his mouth to stifle the noise. He shook his head, brushing loose strands of hair from his eyes. “You’ve got much to learn of being a scientist, Trevor.”

“Do I?” Trevor chuckled. “How we make it a date so you can teach me?”

There was silence for a moment. Adrian blushed and lightly punched Trevor’s bicep. “You sly dog,” he teased. “This is serious, you know.”

“I know. I’m just trying to make it bearable. Sometimes shit gets so convoluted you just have to laugh and joke it out every once in a while,” Trevor replied. He smiled at seeing a glimpse of Adrian’s lighthearted side. It was tough to get it to come through, but when he got a peek, it was a pleasure. Trevor had to be clever to see Adrian's smile and hear his breathy chuckles, but it was worth the effort. Seeing him tease and smile, though temporary, was  _ always _ better than seeing him cold and trembling. Adrian had walked in that way, and Trevor couldn’t stand it. He was glad to relieve it for a moment. 

“Agreed.” Adrian nodded. His features turned neutral. “Before we start experimenting with anything, there’s something I must teach you how to do.”

“What’s that?”

“I need to teach you how to put the needle and tubing in my arm. It will administer relaxant to my body. When I’m in an attack or close to one, this is how it my mother would give me medication. Once I get the numbers I need, we can work on cutting the dosages to create something more digestible by mouth.”

“Damn. When you said Dracula was the keeper of knowledge you weren’t kidding. Where did he even come up with this?”

“I think he found it from somewhere else. Perhaps the future.”

“Okay, I don’t know what the hell that means but it sounds scary as shit,” Trevor sighed. “Alright, Adrian. Teach me.”

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor was both awe-struck and confused at the same time. Adrian had spent the morning showing him books and diagrams, tools and tubes, medicines and fluids, things Trevor didn’t realize existed. He figured these things weren’t available outside Dracula’s castle, for they were both bizarre and far beyond the understanding of most folk. Trevor could understand  _ why _ Lisa’s patients would become frightened at these tools, but it didn’t make her demise any less heinous. 

He gazed at the spread of notes and tools again. He licked his lip.  _ I’m not squeamish, _ he told himself, _ I’m not squeamish. _

_ I’m going to fucking puke.  _

“Trevor?” Adrian asked. “Are you going to vomit?”

“Pft,  _ what? _ ” Trevor lightly scoffed, trying to brush off how pale he was. _“No.”_

“The waste bin is in the far corner next to the supply closet.”

With confirmation of the waste bin’s location, Trevor’s acid rose to his throat. He couldn't fight it off any longer, the will to expel his insides overcoming the will to keep it in. He rushed over to the far end of the room. He found the bin, clutched it with both hands, and emptied his stomach. He sputtered, the taste foul in between his lips. A hand rubbed at his shoulder. 

_ “Motherfucker!” _ Trevor exclaimed. “Look at Trevor fucking Belmont, getting squeamish at a damn picture book.”

“It’s alright,” Adrian reassured. He rubbed Trevor’s back. “I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you.”

“No, it’s fine.” Trevor leaned off the bin and faced Adrian. There was a cup of water in Adrian's hand that was handed to him. He sipped it. “I’ll get the hell over it.”

“I suppose I could try to insert the needle and set up the line of tubing myself…” Adrian furrowed his brow and sighed. “I’ll have to find a way to calm the tremble in my hands first.”

“Oh _hell no,”_ Trevor said, disapproval in his voice. “I’m figuring this shit out.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian being nervous at Trevor poking him was an understatement. He wasn’t terrified, per say, but he had an infinite supply of possible scenarios rolling around in his head. It had been a few days since they had started studying the most basic aspect of what would be their experimentations, simply setting up a line from his vein so they could put fluids directly into his bloodstream. Trevor hadn’t even known what a vein was until Adrian had shown him. With each new explanation, Trevor had gotten more and more pale, until he finally gave up his pride and vomited. Adrian knew it was stubbornness holding Trevor back, he didn’t want to show he had any sort of negative reaction to what they were doing. Yet, that _ wasn’t _ realistic, and Adrian understood this perfectly. He just wished Trevor would be more upfront with him about things. Was Trevor afraid Adrian would get frustrated with him? Or perhaps get disappointed or upset? Adrian couldn’t decipher him at times, and it was something that perplexed him while he lie awake at night. 

He took a deep breath. He had been feeling agitated all day. It was not a mental agitation, but rather a physical one. His palms were damp, his legs twitched, and he clenched and unclenched his fists. His jaw sat off to the side, a side-effect of his teeth gnawing on each other. His heart thumped slowly, and Adrian grew anxious at the sensation of feeling it at his torso. The pressure of constant, nagging aches around his body made him uneasy. He just wanted to relax. Even if only for a little while. 

So here he was, sitting in chair in the alchemy lab, Trevor next to him. A spread of tools sat on the table before them, Trevor’s eyes determined as he scanned over everything. He nodded, reassuring himself. 

“Alright, I’ve been practicing this shit for three days straight!” he exclaimed, pride in his voice. “Are you ready, Adrian?”

Adrian sighed.  _ “Are you?” _

“Hell yeah.”

“Alright then,” Adrian sighed again. He took off his shirt and placed it to the side. Trevor flushed, his eyes scanning over Adrian’s torso. Adrian blushed. 

“We don’t need fabric getting in the way,” Adrian mumbled. “Unless my body is too much a distraction for you.”

Trevor scoffed, his cheeks red. “N-No! Why would it be?”

“Because you claim I’m sexy.”

“That’s true,” Trevor mumbled. He shook his head. “Alright,  _ alright, _ let’s just do this shit already.”

Adrian chuckled. He watched Trevor put on a pair of sterile gloves after cleaning his hands briefly. A book was flipped open to his side, and he glanced at it before turning his attention back to Adrian. 

“I memorized the entire instruction list, but just in case, I have it right here,” he said. “I will  _ not  _ fuck up.”

“Good luck, my dear,” Adrian said. He flushed. The endearment had slipped from his mouth without his conscious consent. He brushed his hair back, his eyes studying the array of tools on the table. He couldn’t deny part of him had wanted to return the gesture once Trevor had called him  _ baby. _ He hadn’t planned on returning it, but here he was, giving out subtle affection right before Trevor poked at him with a needle. 

Trevor blushed. He turned to his book. “A-Alright, step one:  _ greet the patient,” _ he said. He turned to Adrian. “Hi, my name’s Trevor.”

Adrian laughed. “That’s the  _ one _ step you don’t have to follow word-for-word.”

“Yes, but I have to do it, or else the process will get fucked up.”

“If you insist,” Adrian smiled. 

“I’ve made sure the tubing has no bubbles.” He gestured to the elevated stand next to their chairs. He grabbed a tourniquet from off the table. “Hold out your arm.”

Adrian obliged. The tourniquet was wrapped around his arm, his vein popped through the skin. He furrowed his brow as Trevor pressed his fingers to the area, bouncing his fingers at the spot. He bit his lip in concentration. 

“Gah, veins feel like slimy fish or some shit…” Trevor mumbled. Adrian chuckled. 

“Not the description I first think of, but I suppose,” he said, his voice light. His heart was speeding up in anticipation, and he was doing everything he could to fight it off. He couldn’t panic in the middle of Trevor performing a procedure on him. It was an odd, surreal thought, but it was happening right before him. He had to blink to remind himself he was in reality. 

Trevor disinfected the area. Next, he grabbed the catheter, bringing it up to his eye and inspecting it. He fiddled with it a few moments. Adrian stared at him, his skin covered in hot flashes. The time was ticking on at an agonizingly slow speed. It had only been less than ten minutes, but it could’ve been the equivalent of a decade. Adrian exhaled though his slightly parted lips. 

“Alright, I’m going to do it,” Trevor said. “Ready?”

“No, but do it anyways.”

Trevor nodded. Adrian watched the needle near his skin and felt the pinch and the same moment he saw it puncture. He winced, though it was more because of his nervousness than the pain. 

“Oh shit, oh shit,” Trevor mumbled as he inserted the needle. “ _ Oh fuck, _ oh shit, oh shit…” He bit his lip. “Alright, blood...almost there, oh shit…”

“What?!” Adrian said, watching his arm. He saw a section of the device fill with blood. He turned his head and brought his hand to his mouth to stifle a gag. 

“Oh  _ fucking _ shit!” Trevor exclaimed. “I got it!”

“Trevor, you are going to make me  _ pass out _ with all these exclamations.”

“Wait to pass out. I’m almost done!” he said. He removed the needle, and inserted the tubing into the catheter. He taped it all down and smiled with triumph. 

“Look at that!” he said. “I’m talented as hell.”

Adrian stared at his arm in awe. He shook his head, his jaw slack at the scene before him. For the first time in a long while, he was speechless. He couldn’t begin to describe how this made him feel, yet, he could sense all the convoluted emotions bubbled up within him. Tears sprung in his eyes, but he couldn’t discern why. 

“Do you want it now, Adrian?”

“What?” Adrian blinked. He glanced up to Trevor, his mind fuzzed. 

“Do you want the relaxant now?”

“Y-Yes, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Hey, we’ve come this far. Let’s put it to use.” Trevor shrugged as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. “How about I get you in bed before I give it to you?”

Adrian nodded. The next thing he knew, he was in bed. It wasn’t his normal bedroom, rather a small room near the alchemy lab. He recalled his mother dozing off in this room when his father was away. She’d stay, sleep briefly, then return to her work. In a castle this vast, it was mere convenience for her, just as it was for them now. Adrian swallowed a strange taste in his mouth. 

“Shit, sorry,” Trevor said with a huff. “I forgot to tell you I was flushing it to cleanse the tubing out. It feels strange, I know.”

“It does…” Adrian halted. Information clicked together in his mind. His head throbbed, worry inching up in his stomach. He could sense an attack coming on, furthered in progression by the realization he had just made. 

“Trevor Belmont, you  _ fucking _ imbecile!” he exclaimed, his voice echoing off the small room’s walls. 

“What? Is there something wrong?” Trevor asked, concern in his brow. 

“Yes, there is, and it’s you practicing this on yourself!”

“I had to practice it _ somehow.”  _

“You could’ve seriously hurt yourself, you asshole.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I had a couple close calls, but I don’t care. I’m fine.”

_ “I care!” _ Adrian insisted. He huffed, his chest trembling. “Ugh, why do you have to scare me like that?”

“There’s nothing to be scared about, Adrian. It’s already over.”

“Fine.” 

Trevor chuckled. “I’m going to give you the dose you suggested.”

“ _ Please. _ Pump me with relaxant before you tell me of all the other absolutely asinine things you’ve done.”

“Sure thing.” Trevor smiled. “It’s in. I’ll keep an eye on you and record how it affects you. We can look the notes over when it wears off.”

Adrian leaned back against the pillows and swallowed. He could already feel the effects of the relaxant taming his heartbeat and trembles in his chest. He sighed and patted the empty bedding beside him. Trevor nodded. He discarded his gloves and cleansed his hands. With his boots left on the floor, he climbed into bed and pulled the blanket over them. Adrian exhaled, his eyes drooping. He snuggled into Trevor’s chest. Trevor wrapped his arm around his shoulder, Adrian’s head against his upper torso and his hand resting at Trevor’s heartbeat. Adrian closed his eyes. 

“Asshole.”

“I love you too, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trevor and Adrian have begun their experimentations!
> 
> I figured with the vast knowledge Dracula collected, it would be possible he collected knowledge on IVs and how to use them. He taught it Lisa, and Lisa used it Adrian when he was a boy, then Adrian learned it and passed it on to Trevor. But, what's different about Trevor is he's a hot mess when it tries it. lol
> 
> I used a wiki-how on inserting IVs to deliver at least some accuracy to this. Some personal experience of mine, as someone whose gotten IVs, is mixed in too, so I could paint a semi-realistic description. I had to cut corners for the sake of the story, and because I am no medical professional. 
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and feedback! :)


	15. Notations

Trevor exhaled as he watched Adrian drift in his arms. It was a strange scene, Adrian tied to esoteric technology, Trevor aiding him in it every step of the way. He would never admit it, but he had dry-heaved more than a few times practicing on himself. He figured what Adrian didn’t know wouldn’t frustrate him. 

The room was peaceful. Trevor brushed his fingers through Adrian’s hair while he slept. He said he’d keep note of how the relaxant impacted Adrian’s body, but at the moment, the only observation was it knocked him cold. Trevor sighed. He was glad Adrian was finally able to find some reprieve. Even when they weren’t speaking of anything particularly grueling, Adrian kept an air of unease. He trembled and hid it, but Trevor had learned to notice. Pumping him full of strong medication straight through the vein was far from a permanent solution, but it was a temporary release. Adrian was running low on his energy reserves, and Trevor worried he’d work himself to bed. Trevor couldn’t figure this out on his own, he needed Adrian’s intellect. It was one thing he was willing to admit. 

Trevor adjusted, shifting Adrian to the pillows with care. He stood from bed and walked over to the tubing. He inspected it for any abnormalities. Adrian inhaled deeply and hummed. He curled into the pillow, the tube tugging slightly as he moved. 

“Hmmmm,” he hummed again, “Trevor, what are you doing?”

“Just checking the tubing, baby,” Trevor said. He held out Adrian’s arm and inspected the catheter. He rested his arm back down when nothing was out of the ordinary. 

“Come back to bed, Trevor,” Adrian said, his voice groggy. His eyes were closed, his nose buried in the sheets. 

“In a minute.”

“Trevorrrr….” Adrian mumbled, dragging out his name. 

Trevor raised his brow. “Yes?”

“Can I have some thirsty?”

“Some  _ what?” _ Trevor responded. He blinked, a bit perplexed at the conversation before him. He’d have to take note of it, but he’d first have to find the right words to describe it. He cursed himself. He never was smart in these things. 

“I’m thirsty, Trevor,” Adrian said. He chuckled.  _ “For you.” _

“Oh hell,” Trevor sighed, his cheeks aflame. “Is this what happens when you’re drunk on medicine?”

“It’s not  _ drunk, _ it’s  _ inebriation,” _ Adrian insisted. He huffed, his eyes still closed.

“Same thing.”

“I need a drink, Trevor,” Adrian whined. 

Trevor blinked. He’d never thought he’d see Adrian whine for anything, but he was full of surprises. Sometimes it just meant relaxing him with medication to find out. “I’ll give you fluid through your tubing.”

“Hmph. Fine.”

The room fell into silence as Trevor tended to the tubing. He thought Adrian had slipped into sleep again when he laid back in bed. Before Trevor could pull the blankets back up, Adrian hummed again. 

“Trevor, I’ve got something to say,” he said. 

“Alright, but wait a moment,” Trevor said. He grabbed the notepad and pencil on the nightstand. He jotted down notes, recording Adrian’s reaction to the relaxant. He wrote:  _ drowsy, groggy speech, whiny in a cute way, and a flirt.  _ He smirked. Adrian was going to kill him when he read these notes, but it was worth it. They had both already agreed: Trevor was no scientist. 

“You’re an asshole, Trevor.”

“Christ, this again?” Trevor sighed, though there was no agitation in his voice. “It’s over now. I needed to practice the procedure.”

“Yes, that’s fine, but you’re still an asshole.” Adrian adjusted against the pillow. “I missed you.”

“When?”

“When you left me alone here to clean up our damn mess. It was  _ our _ fight, but I was left living with the destruction. You took up carriage and left.  _ Why?” _

Trevor’s heart sped. He couldn’t discern whether or not he should be upfront. He would’ve had to swallow his pride and speak up if Adrian was staring him down, but this wasn’t the same. Adrian was being influenced by the dosage in his body, in a high Trevor could only relate to drunkenness. Trevor had said more than his fair share of dirty laundry after one too many cups of ale.  Yet, he wasn’t sure if Adrian would want this conversation to take place in such a way. He wasn’t sure if he’d remember it either. Even so, Trevor couldn’t deny him an answer. The guilt of leaving him had eaten at him since he had arrived. He couldn’t rid himself of it, and he couldn’t act like it wasn’t there. 

“I didn’t think you’d want me around anymore,” Trevor admitted. 

“Why?” Adrian opened his lurid eyes. He stared up at Trevor and sighed. “I love you.”

“I didn’t know that at the time, Adrian. I’m sorry. I should’ve owned up sooner.”

“I suppose,” Adrian sighed. “But maybe I should’ve said something. Love is two ways.”

“I’ll forgive myself if you forgive yourself.”

Adrian shook his head, his brow furrowed. “You ask for too much, Trevor.”

“What?” Trevor gazed at him with concern. “You can’t forgive yourself?”

“There’s too much piled on me. I can’t forgive myself of all of it at once. I just have to let them go one at a time…”

“That’s going to take fucking forever.”

“And forever I have.”

Trevor went to say something, but halted. He realized what exactly that meant. His stomach twisted, pushing the acid up his throat. Saliva pooled at the base of his lip. The notion of Adrian’s longevity was eerie, if not outright terrifying. Trevor couldn’t fathom next week, let alone years and years down the line. He frowned. 

“Look, Adrian, I’m sorry I left you like that. I  _ should’ve _ swallowed my damn pride and spoke up. I  _ should’ve _ been more sensitive to what you had to do and what you had to live with. I  _ should’ve _ offered to help you, or at the least, look after my own damn family keep. It wasn’t meant to pile it all on you, I trust you, and that’s why I bequeathed it. But all I did was pile more bullshit on you.”

“I should’ve spoke up,” Adrian insisted. “I’m sorry you have to take care of me like this. All I have to give you is reassurance of my love. But is it enough?”

“It is, Adrian.”

Adrian exhaled. He reached for Trevor’s hand and held it. Trevor rubbed his thumb over his, Adrian’s skin cool and soft. A moment of silence passed through them. Adrian chuckled, though it had a bitter edge to it. 

“We’re shaping up to be just like my parents,” he said with a sigh. “I have nothing to offer you but all this esoteric knowledge, yet you are offering me to live as a normal man. In some ways, at least.”

Trevor frowned. He brushed hair away from Adrian’s eyes. “Adrian, I want to give you a stable, fulfilling relationship. I’m trying my best, I really am. I love you.”

Adrian choked up. A few years dripped down his face and dampened the pillow. “T-Thank you, Trevor.”

“Hey,” Trevor said softly, “this stuff is supposed to relax you.”

“I am relaxed,” Adrian responded, wiping his eyes. He gave Trevor a breathy smile. “Promise.”

Trevor leaned back in bed and allowed Adrian to curl into his chest once again. He ran his fingers through Adrian’s scalp until he finally drifted to sleep. Once it was clear he was asleep, Trevor resumed his note taking. He added: _ talkative, open with feelings, adorable.  _

 

**~*~**

 

“Whiny in a cute way?!” Adrian exclaimed, his cheeks red. “A flirt? Adorable?”

“They’re all true,” Trevor said with a nonchalant shrug. His teeth tore into a piece of bread. 

“This is your note taking?” 

“Yeah.”

“I-I can’t say I’m surprised they weren’t scientifically inspired, but the word choice…”

It was the day after Adrian received the relaxant. They were in the alchemy lab reviewing the notes and results, Adrian’s eyes blown wide at Trevor’s marks. There was a bandage wrapped around his arm, the tubes having been removed earlier that morning. Upon reading the notes, Adrian got flustered just as Trevor assumed. Trevor chuckled. 

“I got you the information, right?” he said with a laugh. 

“This will suffice…” Adrian sighed. 

“How did you sleep?”

“Better than I have in a long while…” He paused. “I remember everything...I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Trevor shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me any.”

“Are you sure I’m not stressing you?”

“What? No.”

“Don’t lie to me because I’m frail.”

“I’m not!” Trevor insisted. 

Adrian swallowed. He wrapped his arms loosely around his frame, his eyes pointed to the floor. “Why else would you heave so much? I heard you one morning, but I wasn’t sure how to approach you...I’m overwhelming you with tasks and information and you’re too stubborn to tell me your boundaries.”

Trevor grimaced. He chewed the rest of his bread and swallowed, his face pale. Silence fell over them again. Adrian exhaled and glanced to an empty jar on the work table. He leaned on one of his boot heels. His shoulders hunched, suddenly feeling insecure for reasons he couldn’t fully discern. Embarrassment fluttered in his mind. He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at Trevor being so attentive with him. There wasn’t any reason to be ashamed, Adrian knew, but he couldn’t convince himself completely.  

“I’m sure the human body doesn’t disgust you. So what was it?” he asked. 

“This technology is some of the strangest shit I’ve ever seen…” Trevor finally admitted. “Damn, I don’t know...poking you with things and taping tubes to you is fucking weird. I don’t understand how this works, I just follow the instructions. Practicing on myself was intense as hell. I was scared of poking some shit I was supposed to...and I don’t know...I stressed when I saw the blood and it just happened. Trevor Belmont is  _ not _ squeamish. He’s not.”

“I know he isn’t. But he has limits.”

“I don’t care.”

“You should.” Adrian frowned. He walked to Trevor and grabbed his hand. “I know this information is overwhelming. It’s not fighting monsters or hacking and slashing at things. It’s an art of personal care. It’s a delicate thing, and I understand performing this on someone is stressful, especially so when you were just introduced to the concept itself. And...performing on me...trying not to make a deadly mistake...Trevor, I’m so sorry. If you’re troubled, please just tell me.”

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s new and complicated, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Honestly, I think the procedure overwhelmed me. Maybe you’ve noticed, but I don’t have the most nimble fingers. Putting the needle in is so precise, not to mention pumping things into the tubing. We’re putting shit straight into your veins, which is mind-boggling. It hit you _so_ fast, Adrian. I’ve never even gotten drunk that quick. These are powerful tools we’re dealing with, stuff I never knew existed. I guess puke is how I show my stress. Who knew?”

“I got the information I need. It does help that I remember everything, given your style of note-taking,” Adrian said with a chuckle, his voice low. “Thank you, Trevor. I’m sorry I made you puke.”

“Nothing I haven’t done at a tavern a thousand times.” Trevor put his hand behind his neck. “And I didn’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled. 

Adrian furrowed his brow, not hearing what was said. “What?”

Trevor flushed. “I was afraid I’d poke you the wrong way…”

“But you didn’t. I’m proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself as well.”

Trevor smiled. Adrian smiled back, cupping his cheek. He leaned in and allowed their lips to touch. Adrian’s heart hammered away at the contact, but he ignored it. When he pulled away, Trevor’s eyes skirted to the side as his cheeks turned pink. Adrian brushed some of Trevor’s hair from his eyes. 

“I can connect side effects to various derivatives more clearly now. My mother had some notes, but they were incomplete. Our information can help piece together with some of hers. I can also try to compare this to what my father notated as well,” Adrian said, his tone hopeful. 

“I think they would be proud of you, Adrian. Proud of you for continuing their work, and most of all, proud of you for helping yourself,” Trevor said. His hand settled at Adrian’s hip. 

Adrian furrowed his brow. “Ah, Trevor, don’t say such things…”

“Why not?”

“Because I know it’s true…” He closed his eyes and sniffled. A tear escaped from his eye. Trevor wrapped him a warm embrace. They stayed this way for a few minutes, enjoying the peace of pausing and taking in the moment. It was warm in Trevor’s touch, and Adrian had to catch himself to keep from dozing. He already knew how comforting Trevor was, he had fallen asleep in his arms more than once. It was then Adrian knew what he wished to do. Trevor was his closest confidant, someone he was trusting with his life. There was something he would now show him. 

“Trevor,” Adrian said as he pulled away, “there’s something I wish to show you.”

“Alright.” Trevor nodded. 

“Take a walk with me.”


	16. Adrian's Study

It was a long walk up the winding staircase to the top spire of the castle. Adrian had to keep in mind his breathing so he didn’t become overexerted. He was getting better a little at a time, Trevor forcing him to eat regular meals was doing wonders. Despite that, he was still frail and had to mind his boundaries. He held Trevor’s hand the entire way. 

Adrian pushed open the door to the small, circular room at the top of the spire. A small window overlooked the vast mountains of Wallachia. There was a desk below the window, a few books placed one on top of the other. To the left and right were shelves full of leather books and miscellaneous writing supplies. A cup of paintbrushes stood on the windowsill. Trevor furrowed his brow as Adrian gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

“This is my personal study,” Adrian said. “It has been since I was a young child. This here is a collection of all my creative ventures, my sketchbooks, journals, and notes.”

Trevor nodded. Adrian sighed and stared at the landscape beyond. He sniffed when dust flew past his nose. He had been using this space frequently until the war with his father began. He returned after it was all said and done to clean it up and make sure it was still in tact, but after that, he had resigned himself to the alchemy lab. He frowned. This had always been a sanctuary for him. In some ways, it still was. Now days he was in too much anguish to think to offer himself sanctuary. One day, with Trevor’s help, hopefully that would change. 

“I’m showing this to you because I trust you,” Adrian said. “This spire contains my most personal artifacts. I want you to get to know me, Trevor. However, no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot tell you everything I wish to at the moment. It’s not me holding secrets close to my chest, rather my mental state exhausts me so fast I can’t tell you much before my energy gives way. So I have brought you here. You are free to look through everything in this room. Get to know me and my past. _Please._ I love you enough to show you this. I beg you not squander it, though I know you won’t.”

Trevor was incredulous. His skin heated as he gazed at the personal artifacts around the room. He could fathom Adrian opening himself up to this degree. Trevor flushed. There was no telling what revelations were hidden away in this small room. There were likely things Adrian had never spoken to any other living soul, yet he was bequeathing every facet of every version of himself over. Trevor exhaled, not sure how to approach it. For the very first time, the vehement force of love came through to him. Adrian loved him sincerely and deeply, and Trevor could feel it. 

“This is nothing less than an honor,” Trevor replied after a few moments silence. 

“Ah, I--No…” Adrian flustered, his cheeks pink, “I just want to show myself to you. I’m having difficulties the traditional way, so this is the next best step. There’s much I’d like you to know, but when I go to tell you something, I can’t think of anything.”

“Loving someone enough to reveal every deep secret you have is nothing to sneeze at.”

Adrian grew nervous. He fidgeted, letting go of Trevor’s hand. He turned toward the door. “I-um--I’ll be in the alchemy reviewing our notes. Come back to me once you’ve finished looking through...You don’t have to read it all or anything...Um..Goodbye…”

 

**~*~**

 

The door clicked shut. Trevor stood in awe at the scene before him. He hadn’t seen Adrian rush off in haste in some time. He could sense Adrian’s vulnerability, as if he so desperately wanted to show Trevor everything about him, but was nervous of the reactions that would garner.  Trevor turned around and gazed at the small, cramped space. He was overwhelmed, a sensation he was quickly expecting to crop up at constant intervals these days. He wasn’t sure where to begin, so he picked up the top book in a stack on the desk. He flipped it open. 

It was a sketchbook. The first page was blank save for Adrian’s full name written in the corner. Trevor flipped through it. Many of the pictures were of mundane things: flowers, vases, books, the landscapes, and other fauna. The dates caught his eye. The sketchbook was from when he was around fourteen. Trevor sighed. _Even then, he was talented as hell,_ he thought. 

He flipped to a picture that broke the pattern of the others. It was a sketch of Vlad and Lisa sitting together on a sofa, both of them preoccupied with books held in front of them. Trevor frowned. He could envision a young Adrian on the floor of the castle library, drawing the figures of his parents while they studied. He could almost see Vlad praising him for it, but Trevor shoved the vision away before it could come to fruition. He was piecing together this family bit by bit, but he wasn’t all the way there yet. 

Trevor put the sketchbook down. He picked up the worn journal that was under it and flipped it open. He read a random entry:

 

_14 July 1470 Anno Domini,_

_Today Mama baked me cookies. I liked the taste. It was a new recipe, she said. I’m not sure what was in it…_

_Anyways, I spied on Father working with his powers today. He can always lift objects into the air better than me. I wonder if one day I’ll be as talented as him. He turned around and saw me spying on him. I was scared, but he just chuckled and called me closer to him. He showed me his tomes and let me read through them. He said it was for me to practice reading ancient texts and language._

_I hope I didn’t anger him when I spied…_

 

Trevor sighed. The writing was so innocent. It was as if he were a normal child in a normal family. It conflicted Trevor, just as everything else within the castle walls did. He flipped the page and read another entry:

 

_24 July 1470 Anno Domini,_

_The scary thing happened to me again today. I was painting on my easel when I suddenly couldn’t breathe. My chest was tight, my heart was fast, my whole body was hot. I was so fearful. I ran to Father and cried to him. I told him I had trouble taking breath in. He picked me up and took me to the alchemy lab. I was crying so much, it hurts so bad. Mama put the needle in my arm and gave me medicine. After that, it went away. I could breathe again. Then, I fell asleep._

_I’m awake again, but it’s night now. Father is reading a book by the window. Mama is making me dinner. She said I could have anything I’d like, so I asked for her cookies and a bowl of fruit. I’m not allowed to leave bed. There are tubes all over my arm. It’s sore to move my elbow._

_I just hope the scary thing doesn’t happen again. What’s happening to me????_

 

Trevor winced. The words smacked him in the face. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sentence, _It hurts so bad._ He could feel Adrian’s confusion and fear through the writing on the page. It was potent, the similarities between then and now stark. Adrian was still lost and confused, scared and broken. The difference now was he was no longer a child with loving parents, he was a young man who had been forced to deal with it alone. That was until Trevor showed up. 

He put the book down and set the sketchbook back on top of it. A newer looking journal alone in the corner of the desk caught his eye. He reached for it. The pages still smelled new, as if the binding hadn’t been fully broken yet. Trevor thumbed through it and found it was only about half complete. He began to read:

 

_17 September 1476, Anno Domini,_

_I can’t fathom what I’ve done. I’m in hell, truly a concept I once scoffed at, now a place I’ve been thrust into without mercy. And I thought I was doing the righteous thing. If I was doing the righteous, why I am being so severely punished? I will never understand._

_There’s no one left to fight. My family is dead. I watched them die, I murdered my father when he murdered those who murdered my mother, the same individuals who tried to murder me when I was twelve. Such redundancy is a shame, yet I can’t help but write it. It’s the truth._

_I did the righteous thing. I stop a war against the humans. If I did what was morally correct, then why do I feel so alone? I snuffed out the man I looked up to for so many years of my life, the man who bequeathed me life, all for the good of the human beings in this land._

_After all this hurt and sacrifice, the only two living human I care for left me. I am alone._

_I suppose they have better things to do than dwell alongside a demon-spawn’s demon._

_Even if I keep doing righteous things, it will never erase my blood. My heritage is solid. I can’t erase it without erasing myself. For the first time in my life, I can’t help but think it’s a viable option._

_But I want to hold out. I’m stupid and naive to think he’ll come back. Our work together is done. I’m even more stupid to think he would even give a damn what I think. How I feel. If I told him, he’d probably call me a fucking idiot. Then I’d have to forever live with the shame._

_Even so, I miss him. I will give him a week. Perhaps he’ll change his mind about that family keep of his and come back. Yet, I know even a week is a waste of time. My heart demands it, if the next step in my life  is what I think it ought to be. After that week has passed, I’ll begin my experimentations._

_It just hurts. I have nothing more to say. For now._

 

Trevor bit his quivering lip. He wasn’t a weepy man, rather far from it. He had never been brought to tears reading anything, but this would be the first time. He was conflicted. Overall, his was upset and angry. Angry at himself, angry at humans for being so stupid, angry at Dracula for trying to kill them all, just _angry_ at everything. For the first time in years, hot tears rolled down his cheeks. 

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian studied his notes. He was slowly piecing things together. Combining his mother and father’s notes alongside his had lead to a few new ideas to look into. There was one mixture he thought could be tried, one where the dosage would be low enough to calm him without extreme effects on his body. It would also be taken by mouth, bypassing the tubing. He was calculating the measurements of each ingredient when two strong arms wrapped around his waist. He startled. 

“Trevor!” Adrian exclaimed. He dropped his pencil in surprise. Trevor peppered kisses to his temple repeatedly. 

“Shut up,” Trevor mumbled, though the tone was more loving than aggressive. He pulled Adrian into his chest. Adrian managed to turn around in the tight hold. He stared into Trevor’s bloodshot eyes and swallowed. 

“Is everything okay?” Adrian whispered. 

“I’m fine. I just want to hold you.”

“A-Alright…”

“I love you, Adrian.”

“I love you too, Trevor.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Just accept my apology. Please, for my own damn sanity.”

“Okay. I accept it. I forgive you whatever it is that’s ailing you.”

The room quieted. Trevor held onto him, Adrian’s head in the crook of his neck. They stayed this way for a while, simply taking in each other’s company. Adrian kissed Trevor’s jaw and leaned back to gaze into his eyes. 

“I’ve found what might be a solution. I need to test it, however. I also have a few other prospective possibilities if my first idea doesn’t work out. We’re making progress, Trevor.”

“Once we figure it out, we’re finding happiness together. I don't care if I have to search for centuries. I will find it. And I will share it with you. You are the love of my life, and you better fucking understand that.”

“I do. Thank you. You're the only one for me, Trevor Belmont.”


	17. Recovery

Adrian and Trevor sat in the kitchen once again. It was mostly quiet, both of them taking their meals with their thoughts as company. Adrian dipped his bread into wine to soften it. He ate slowly. Trevor was nearly finished with his meal, taking a swash of wine to gulp the final pieces down. Adrian ate another piece of his bread and sighed. 

“I have developed an oral mixture in the form of a powder. I shall take it twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. I will then note any changes I observe. I hope building a subtle dose in my system over time will help prevent attacks, or at the very least, subdue their intensity. I will begin the powder tomorrow. I have only seven days worth of doses, I want at least ten. I’m going to make the rest today.”

“Good. You’ve been working hard. I hope to God it works,” Trevor said. He put down his wine glass and wiped his lip. 

“ _ We’ve  _ been working hard.”

“Of course.”

Adrian sighed. He finished his bread. Trevor took their empty plates and washed up, putting them back in the cabinets. Adrian rocked on the bench, his hands clasped together on the table top. He swallowed the remnants of wine in his mouth. There was something in particular he wanted to say, but he didn’t know if he had the courage to be out with it. He took a deep breath as Trevor sat back at the table with a fresh glass of wine. 

“This place has the best wine I’ve ever drank,” Trevor sigh with contentment. “So damn good.”

“Trevor?” Adrian asked, his voice soft. 

“Yes?”

“Part of recovering from an illness is setting up goals. It’s a way to motivate, to keep doing what’s necessary, even though the urge to quit may crop up from time to time. If I do what I must and get better, then there’ll be something there waiting for me. At least that’s the idea from what I’ve read in books, anyway.”

Trevor nodded.  He raised his wine glass to his lips. “Alright. Do you have something in mind?”

“I want to have sex with you.”

Trevor snorted the wine he was attempting to drink. Droplets fell onto the table. His face turned red quicker than it ever had before, his skin covered in hot flashes. Adrian blushed and bit his lip, thinking perhaps his idea had been too much. He turned his head and let hair cover his face. 

“Bloody hell,” Trevor mumbled, wiping his face. “No one has ever made it a  _ goal _ to have sex with me. They usually just slap my ass and pull me into the nearest empty room.”

Adrian stiffened. “I don’t intend to slap your ass.”

“You can if you want to.”

“Trevor!” Adrian exclaimed, embarrassment fiery on his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I’ve made a fool of myself.”

“No, not really.” Trevor sighed. He brushed stray strands of hair from his face. “If that’s what motivates you to get better, then fine. I don’t have a problem with it.”

“It makes me seem lustful.”

“No, it makes you seem like a virgin, which I know you are.”

Adrian clenched his teeth. He was inching towards being mortified. He exhaled, his breath shaking. Trembles were slowly creeping up in his chest. He knew better than to push himself this far, yet he wanted to be honest. He wasn’t sure where this sort of honesty was going to get him, and it made him nervous. Trevor put his hand over Adrian’s clasped ones. 

“It’s  _ fine, _ Adrian. You’re not well enough to do that now, I get it. But you want to because you have someone you love and loves you.”

“I just...I just want to make love with you. I’m sorry.”

“If I said I didn’t want the same I’d be lying. I’ve never made love.”

Adrian furrowed his brow. “But you said--”

“That’s not love, Adrian,” Trevor interrupted, “it’s lust. I didn’t know most of the people I went to bed with. That’s what happens when you’re scraping by. You fuck somebody else who’s scraping by, you get some short term pleasure, you move on. There’s nothing else to it. No feelings, no care, no tenderness. You get what you get and better damn well enjoy it.”

“I can’t say I understand the feeling.”

“No, and I’m going to make sure you never have to.”

“This isn’t a silly thing to want?” Adrian asked a small frown on his lips. 

Trevor shook his head. “No. You’ll know when you get there.”

“Thank you, Trevor.”

Trevor stood and leaned over the table. They kissed, Adrian’s hand squeezing Trevor’s on the table top. When they parted, both of them had flushed faces and pink cheeks. Adrian licked his lip and turned his head, his vision blurry. There was a calming sense of relief breezing through him, despite the many worries he had. He knew he could always be honest and open with Trevor, and that was the one thing he could find solace in. 

 

**~*~**

 

“Two milligrams twice a day,” Adrian said, weighing out a pile of powder in a dish. He exhaled and brought the dish to his mouth. “Alright. Here I go.”

He put the powder in his mouth and grabbed his water glass. He sipped it and wished the liquid around his mouth, then swallowed it down. The powder itself tasted like tar with the texture of rough grains against his teeth. It was the most unpleasant thing he had swallowed in a while, but he didn’t have room to complain. Trevor stared at him, one palm leaned on the table. 

“So how long is this going to take to work?” he asked. 

“I don’t know, Trevor, why don’t you consult a crystal ball?” Adrian teased. He drank the rest of his water. 

“My crystal ball says Adrian really wants to have sex.”

Adrian choked on his saliva. His cheeks burned at Trevor’s nonchalant attitude. “You really know how to use my wishes against me.”

“No, not against you. You say that motivates you, so I’m going to keep reminding you of what waits for you if you get better.” Trevor paused. He exhaled. “That can’t be the  _ only _ thing you want. What else is there?”

Adrian frowned. “Acceptance.”

“Acceptance of what?”

“You know what I want to accept.”

“Yes, but I want to hear you say it,” Trevor insisted. He put his hand on Adrian’s shoulder. “You’re not accepting anything if you don’t acknowledge it outright.”

“I want to accept I killed my father,” Adrian admitted. 

Trevor nodded. “What else?”

“My mother’s death isn’t my fault,” Adrian mumbled, his hands trembling. “When I was a child, my father was a good man.” He swallowed, his eyes dropping to the floor. 

“Anything else?”

“I want to accept I still love him.”

“You will, Adrian. We’ll work on it.”

Adrian sighed and wrapped Trevor in an embrace. He sniffled, swallowing down tears that threatened to escape. In the time Trevor had been with him at the castle, he had come far in working toward a healthier life. He hated to think of where he'd be if Trevor hadn’t come back. The prospects of that scenario weren’t good. Adrian kissed Trevor’s cheek as they parted. He placed his hands and his shoulders and rubbed them. 

“I’m going to hunt some game,” Trevor said. “Is that alright?”

“Of course. I’ll be okay,” Adrian smiled. “Take care of yourself out there.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian cleaned up the alchemy lab while Trevor was away. He couldn’t feel any affects the powder would have on his body, but he was extremely tuned into his internal functions anyways. He cleared one of the central tables of the lab. He had been placed there many times when he was a child. He frowned, remembering every extreme attack he had where his mother and father hooked him to tubing. They desperately tried to find an alternative, but they weren’t able to before things went to hell for their family. Adrian sighed. He hoped he had found the answer. Not only would it help him immensely, but perhaps it would settle their souls a little more. 

He ran his fingers along the table. This table was where his father told him he loved him. Adrian thought long and hard, but he couldn’t recall any other time the words had come from his mouth. He had always known his father loved him growing up, but it was entirely different to hear it said aloud. 

It hadn’t been long after his first attack. Adrian tinkered with one of his projects at the table when Vlad walked behind him. He placed his hand on Adrian’s shoulder, his figure towering above the sitting boy. Adrian glanced up and gazed into his crimson eyes. 

_ “I love you, Adrian,” Vlad said quietly, “let me know if you need anything, son.” _

_ “Okay,” Adrian nodded. “I love you too, Father.” _

Adrian blinked out of the memory. He sighed and walked away. He ventured to the library and sat on one of the plush chairs by the window overlooking the landscape of Wallachia. There had only been three people in his life to tell him they loved him; his mother, father, and Trevor. Adrian flushed. He didn’t know _why_ Trevor loved him, but he was alright with not getting an answer at the moment. One day, he would dig it out of him. However, now wasn’t that time. 

A downpour hit the window panes. Adrian sat straighter, worry creasing his brow. The wind picked up, the trees thrashing to one side. Adrian bit his lip and watched the conditions worsen. After a few minutes, he sprung up and rushed out the library to see if Trevor had returned. 

Adrian scanned the area surrounding the castle from the top of one of the shorter spires. He fidgeted, trepidation in his chest. _What if something’s happened?_ he thought. _I can’t just stand here not knowing…_

Something in Adrian snapped loose. His anxiety took control, though it manifested in a new way foreign to him. He had the urge to go searching for Trevor despite the storm. Adrian couldn’t stand just sitting and waiting for whatever was to happen. The longer he was still, the worse his anxiousness got. He grabbed a thick, black cloak from his wardrobe, his gloves, and his sword. He rushed out into the rain, the hood covering most of his face. His boots splashed through the muddied pathways out of the castle grounds. 

He panicked. Forest surrounded him in all directions, except for the path leading away from the Belmont hold. He followed the path a little ways, coming to Trevor’s childhood tree. He huffed. He wasn’t going to make any progress this way. Trevor could’ve gone anywhere, running on foot was like finding a needle in a haystack. Adrian leaned his gloved hand on Trevor’s tree and caught his breath. The wind and rain continued its onslaught, pushing him back slightly. He concentrated all his energy on himself. 

_ Go ahead and shift, _ he heard his father say in his head. 

Finally, after much willpower, Adrian shifted into a bat. He flew upward, an aerial view of the area coming to his vision. He flew through the trees, covering more ground faster than he could on foot. A half-mile from Trevor’s tree, he spotted white against the greenery of the forest. He flew downward and found it was Trevor cutting away vines from where they were wrapped around his leg. Adrian flew downward. 

Trevor saw the bat approaching him. His hair stuck to his face, his entire body drenched and muddy. His arms trembled from the cold onslaught of rain. He cursed and waved his knife at the creature. 

“Ugh, fucking bat!” he cursed, his voice rough from exertion. “Shoo, you bastard!”

Adrian flew back in surprise. He shifted into his regular form, his feet on the ground. Trevor stared at him, his jaw slack. Adrian rushed over and took the knife from Trevor’s hand and began cutting at the vines. 

“Adrian?!” Trevor exclaimed. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“You didn’t return home and I grew worried,” Adrian said. 

“You don’t need to be out here, asshole!” Trevor yelled over the rain, worry in his tone. “I’ll catch up with you. Go.”

“No, that’s asinine! _ You’re _ the asshole, asshole!” Adrian yelled back. “You’re going to get ill in these conditions.”

Adrian removed the rest of the vines. He helped him stand, wrapping Trevor in the extra fabric of his cloak. Adrian’s arm was around Trevor's torso, helping guide him through the mud. The wind had settled a bit, but it was still merciless as it directed rain into their path. Trevor shivered in his hold, and Adrian squeezed the damp fabric of his tunic in his angst. 

“Mud slid out from under me,” Trevor said. “I got tumbled and trapped under the vines. Fucking lost my deer.”

“Never mind that. We’re going home. I need to care for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a roller-coaster. lol It's Adrian turn to take care of Trevor. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos on this fic! This story has reached 150 kudos which is amazing!! I also loved reading all the feedback everyone has on this story, I really appreciate it. It makes my day. :)


	18. Home

Trevor groaned. His whole body ached. He leaned back, his head cushioned by many pillows. His eyes were sore and full of grit. He tried to raise his hand to rub through them, yet couldn’t. The bend of his arm was stiff and not as mobile as it usually was. He groaned again. 

“Shit…” he mumbled, readjusting on the pillows. Cool fingers ran through his hair. He managed to open his eyes to see Adrian sitting next to him at the bedside. Adrian gave him a small smile. 

“Hi, Trevor,” he whispered. His fingers continued to rummaged through Trevor’s hair. 

Trevor paled at Adrian’s soft demeanor. “Ugh. I feel like shit,” he mumbled. 

He remembered hunting in the forest when the onslaught came upon him. It hit quickly, and before he could get out of the trees, mud slid from underneath him and dragged him downhill. Foliage buried under soil had trapped his leg. He was struggling to cut through it when Adrian had come. Trevor had been shocked to see Adrian standing there, albeit a little pissed. He was pissed he had gotten himself in a predicament, and pissed Adrian had to come find him. He couldn’t blame him. If Adrian hadn’t returned from a storm, he damn near tear the Earth in two in order to find him. It was a frightening thought. His love was so ardent, he was willing to do things he never would have before. Adrian was the same. 

Adrian frowned and cupped Trevor’s cheek. “Oh, love,” he sighed. His thumb rubbed across Adrian’s skin. “Are you in pain? Do you need painkiller? I hooked you to tubing and gave you fluids while you sleep. I’m fearful of you getting pneumonia. I’ve been doing what I can to try and prevent it.”

“I’m fine.”

“Alright,” Adrian said. He dropped his hand to Trevor’s chest. “You were so exhausted once we got home. You bathed and I put you in bed. I gave you some painkiller after that, I’m not sure if you remember.”

Trevor’s eyes widened.  _ Once we got home. _ _What does that mean?_ he thought. The Belmont hold was his childhood home, but this was  _ Dracula’s castle. _ Adrian now called it home, just as he always had. This was Adrian’s home, Trevor was just staying with him. Trevor frowned. He couldn’t understand what Adrian meant. The urge to know was eating at him more than the bruises along his rib-cage. 

“Once  _ we _ got home?” Trevor said. “What does that mean?”

Adrian leaned back in surprise. His cheeks blushed. He squeezed at Trevor’s tunic. “Ah...um…” he mumbled, “we live here together now. You...You’ll stay with me, won’t you? Even after I get better?”

“Yes.” Trevor nodded. 

“Then this is your home.”

Trevor choked on his breath. He hadn’t had a proper home since the Belmont hold had been destroyed. He had spent years roaming from place to place, sometimes fighting vampires, sometimes taking peasant jobs to secure a meal. To have security in a home was a foreign feeling. He wasn’t sure how to digest it, so he pushed it away. 

“So, uh…” he began, swallowing his other thoughts, “have you taken your medicine today?”

Adrian stiffened. His gaze fell to the sheets. “I did last night-”

“How about  _ today?” _ Trevor interrupted. 

“N-No…”

“Adrian, don’t pull that bullshit,” Trevor huffed. “I don’t care how well or unwell I am, you need to take that powder.” He pointed to the door, his tone stern. “Go. Take. It.  _ Now.” _

Adrian bit his lip and scrambled out of the room. Trevor sighed. He didn’t mean to be that stern, but he vehement about Adrian taking his medicine. They had gone through too much, come to far, only for Adrian to quit out of worry for him. He didn’t care what happened to him, he wouldn’t let Adrian slip back to where he was when he returned to the castle. He loved him too much to allow him to. 

The room was quiet for a few minutes. Adrian returned and sat on the bedside, his stature meek. His tilted his head down, hair covering his face. 

“I’m sorry, Trevor…” he whispered. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Trevor said. He cupped Adrian’s hand. “I just don’t want you to neglect yourself. You’ve come too far. Don’t blow it because I was the dumbass that went into the woods before a storm.”

Adrian sighed and leaned forward, placing a kiss on his lips. When he leaned away, Trevor flashed him a cheeky smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Hey, you’re one step closer to having sex with me,” Trevor said. Adrian playfully rolled his eyes. 

“Do you  _ really _ want to have sex with me?” he asked, a bit incredulous. 

“Hell yeah. I wasn’t lying when I said you were sexy.”

“Oh…” Adrian blushed. “Did you know I also think you’re sexy?”

Trevor grunted, his cheeks pink. “Kind of got the feeling when you asked to bed me.”

They chuckled. Adrian rubbed the crook of Trevor's neck a moment before stood. He went to the pole that held the tubing and fiddled with it. Afterward, he took away one bag of fluid and replaced it with another. Trevor’s eyes followed him every step of the way. 

“I’m proud of you, Adrian,” he said. 

“W-Why?”

“You did all this by yourself. It must’ve been hard for you to set this tubing up and look after my dumb ass.”

Adrian shrugged. “You’re  _ my  _ dumbass, so I’ll do it.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“I’m going to give you some more painkillers. You’ve got a few nasty bruises. Try to rest the best you can.”

“Thanks, Adrian.”

“It’s no trouble, my dear,” Adrian smiled. 

“Thanks anyway,” Trevor mumbled. He turned his head away. “For...uh...giving me a home.”

Adrian flushed. He was silent. After a moment of staring into the distance, he smiled softly and placed a kiss on Trevor’s forehead. He brought the blankets further up his torso and walked away, opening the door at the far side of the room. 

“You’re welcome, Trevor.”

 

**~*~**

 

Three weeks had passed since Adrian had started taking the powder daily. It had helped a great deal in improving his daily functionality. He hadn’t twitched much during the day, and he only had to fight off one attack. Even the attack itself wasn’t as intense as it usually was. Adrian knew he had certainly created something that was working for him. He hoped it would stay that way for the long term. It didn’t stop the random attack cropping up from time to time, but his quality of life was immensely better. He still had struggles to sort through, but he felt better equipped to deal with them. 

One morning Adrian woke up in a great mood. He wasn’t sure _why,_ but it was a fantastic feeling, and reprieve from his usual ailments. It excited him, the sensation so foreign to his body it was as if he had felt it the first time. He found Trevor flipping through a book in a lounge chair within the library. Adrian walked up to him and sat in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck. Trevor startled, closing the book and setting it aside. Adrian kissed him. 

“Hey,” he said with a smile. 

“Hey, Adrian,” Trevor said, his face pale. He wrapped his arms around Adrian’s back as he was kissed again.

“I feel good today.”

“I can tell.”

Adrian smiled and kissed him for the third time. “I can’t stop kissing you,” he chuckled.

“I can te- _ hmph!” _

“Hey, Trevor.”

“What?”

Adrian leaned forward for yet another kiss. He ran his hands down Trevor’s chest. “I’ve got a surprise for you,” he whispered in his ear. 

“Is this it?” Trevor asked, his skin quickly turning red. 

“No,” Adrian smiled. He got off of Trevor’s lap and extended a hand to him. “It’s in the alchemy lab. Come on.”

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor cursed himself. He had gotten himself into many awkward predicaments, but this was shaping up to be the worst. As Adrian guided him through the twisting hallways of the castle, blood was rushing to places he’d rather it not. He couldn’t help it. An incredibly alluring creature had sat on his lap, kissed him repeatedly, pawed at his chest, and whispered in his ear. It didn't help matters said creature was the love of his life. He half expected the “surprise” to be a trip to the bedroom. He was curious as to why it wasn’t. He had learned something new today: he didn’t doubt the family bestiary anymore when it said _vampires pounce._ Now his body was reacting and he couldn’t stop it, for his mind was playing out a succulent fantasy of what could’ve came next. He sighed. He really had no control of himself sometimes. 

Adrian lead him to a table in the alchemy lab. Trevor prayed to God, which he didn’t do often, that he wouldn’t turn around. If he did, his dignity would probably be compromised. 

There was a box on top of the table. Adrian stopped in front of it and pointed to it. He smiled, clearly happy about whatever lie within. 

“Open it!” he encouraged. 

Trevor flushed. He got on his knees in a nonchalant way, his eyes on level with the box. He tried to act like he was trying to extend the element of surprise, when he was actually attempting to hide his groin. It pushed against his trousers, and he grunted at the intrusion.  _ He’s too fucking sexy! _ he cursed to himself.  _ Fuck! _

He lifted the lid off the box and pushed it to the side. His eyes widened when he came face-to-face with a hand-crafted leather whip. The handle was wrapped in gold, his family’s crest engraved into it. He furrowed his brow and pulled it from the box. 

“I-I made it…” Adrian said, his tone nervous. “You don’t have to use it or anything…”

Trevor bit his lip. It was the most elegant gift he had ever been given. It was attentive, caring, and built from hand with genuine love in mind. He sighed, his breath shaky, the sight a momentary distraction from _ other places. _

“It’s beautiful, baby,” he mumbled. He studied the details. 

“I’m not sure how it flows, I’m not well versed in the whip like you are. Would you like to try it?”

“O-Oh, uh...sure…”

Trevor went to stand, but he couldn’t. He  _ really _ didn’t want Adrian to see his groin. It was obvious by now, it had to be, given the way it felt against his trousers. His skin was hot, he was sweating, and worst of all, he couldn’t think of what to do next. So he stalled, the beautiful whip still in his hands. 

“W-What?” Adrian frowned. “If you don’t like it, I-I won’t be mad…”

Trevor bit his lip.  _ Fuck, _ he thought,  _ he sounds so fucking sad!  _ He was in a panic now, frozen in place, his knees on the alchemy lab floor. He knew he couldn’t hide it. He wasn’t getting out of this without fessing up. His tried his best to inhale, desperately searching for the best way to break through the ice. 

“No, I love it, baby,” he stressed. “It’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.”

“Then won’t you try it?” Adrian sighed. “I knew this was a bad idea…”

“It’s not a bad idea! It’s really not! Promise!”

“Then get up and try it. Though, I’m not sure I believe you now…”

“Please believe me, Adrian,  _ please,” _ Trevor huffed. “I just can’t try it right now.”

Adrian frowned again. His brow furrowed in disappointment. “Because you’re lying…”

“No, because my dick’s on fire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trevor and his predicaments. lol These two are so adorable.


	19. Nervous Euphoria

“What?” Adrian whispered. 

Trevor stared at Adrian, his face red and jaw slack. Adrian stood over him, his stance meek and flustered, shock bright in his eyes. He stepped back, his slender fingers dancing over his lips. Rain hit the windows and filled the awkward quiet stagnating the conversation between them. Trevor dropped the whip back in the box and grunted, the intrusion still making its presence clear in his trousers. He concocted an escape plan. He turned,got on all-fours, and proceeded to crawl to the door. 

“I’m leaving now,” he mumbled. “This never happened.”

“W-Wait!” Adrian exclaimed, taking a step toward him. “Are you ill? Is there something I can do to help?”

“You’ve helped enough.”

“What? I don’t understa-- _ Oh.” _

Adrian walked over to where Trevor was desperately crawling away. He tucked the tip of his boot under Trevor’s torso and pushed him over. Trevor grunted and toppled, falling on his back with his legs spread. Everything he was trying to hide was exposed. He thought to cover his groin with his hands, but didn’t bother. Judging by Adrian’s red cheeks and innocent, shocked face, he’d already gotten an eyeful. 

“W-Why do you have  _ that?!” _ Adrian exclaimed, standing over him. 

Trevor groaned. Having the same alluring creature that caused this predicament towering over him wasn’t helping matters. “Do I need to explain to you why men have dicks?!” he huffed, embarrassment on his cheeks. “We were born with them!”

“I know that, you bastard,” Adrian mumbled. He clenched his hands into fists. “I-I mean  _ the bulge.” _

“It has a whole hell of a lot to do with you sitting right on my testicles, then proceeding to make out with me. You’re too damn sexy to do that and not expect my body to respond. That didn’t get a rise out of you at all?”

“I was thinking about the gift I wanted to show you.”

“Yeah, well, my other head thought the gift was something else,” Trevor sighed. He leaned up on his palms. “Let me go deal with it. Then I’ll test the whip, promise.”

Adrian shook his head. He crouched down, Trevor’s torso in between his legs. Long hair fell over his shoulders, both palms pressed against the floor. Trevor swallowed, his temperature rising once again. He squirmed under the lurid gaze bearing down on him. His trousers became twice as uncomfortable. 

“Shit,” he cursed, “here we go again.”

“If I started it, then let me finish it,” Adrian mumbled. His tone was stuck in the grey area between meek and trying to be confidant. It was clear he was nervous, but wanted to take some sort of action. What that action was, Trevor couldn’t discern. 

“No, I’ll deal with it.”

“Trevor...I think I’m ready.”

“Are you? Or are you just saying that because I got exposed?”

“No, I’m serious.”

“I don’t want your first time to be rushed.”

“It doesn’t have to be…” Adrian bit his lip. “Can you...get another…?”

“Bulge? Yeah, it’s happened before. With you, it’s pretty much guaranteed.”

“Ah...Duly noted.”

 

**~*~**

 

The next thing Trevor knew, he was lying in bed, Adrian sitting on his hips. He lifted his head off the pillow and looked around to see their shared bedroom. Neither had them had discussed it, but over time, they shared the same bed, and naturally, things fell into place. Now, sleeping next to each seemed far more docile than what was happening and what they were about to do. 

“Wha--How the hell did we get here so fast?” Trevor mumbled. He fell back on the pillows. 

“Vampire secret,” Adrian chuckled. He leaned down. They kissed. 

“I honestly forgot you had special powers and shit.”

“That’s just the beginning, Trevor,” Adrian said. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and started to pull it upward. Trevor put his hand out and stopped him. 

“Whoa, what are you doing?” he asked, their hands on top of each other. 

“I’m stripping for you, my love.”

Trevor stiffened. His heart was hammering faster than it had in years. His body and mind were in conflict with each other, one said to stop him, the other said to let him keep going. He swallowed a mouthful of saliva. “Y-You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled. 

“You understand what I am and choose to stay, day in and day out. Beyond that, you love me for it. I love you for what you are as well. And so, I will give you rapture to the best of my ability.”

The sweat on Trevor’s skin chilled. His groin was still vying for attention, but his heart exploding in his chest was a more immediate issue. He wasn’t very smart with emotions and relationships, but with Adrian, he had learned a great deal. Six months ago, he might’ve not been able to read between the lines, but he had come a long way. 

“You didn’t just say sex was your goal to get better because you wanted to pleasure me, did you?”

Adrian frowned. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“Holy fucking shit.”

“I want to know what it feels like, I do!” Adrian stressed. “But I want to show you how much I love you, and I want to see you feel good. You’ve done nothing but look after me, Trevor. I wanted to make it a goal to give that back to you.”

Trevor bit his lip. Nothing he could say could properly describe how he felt. No one had ever taken his heart in their hands and nurtured it like this. Adrian loved him, he was well aware. Yet, this elevated it to another level, a deep bond of genuine give and take. Finding another that could give and take without taking advantage of the other was the most difficult thing on Earth to find. People search their entire lives for that sort of dedication. Trevor had never bothered looking. Despite that, he fell down a hole and landed right in front of it. 

Adrian grabbed Trevor’s hand and kissed it. “I’ve shown you everything about me, Trevor. The last personal thing I have to give you is my... _virginity_. And I want you to take it. Will you?”

“Damn, everything is so deep with you,” Trevor sighed. “And you know what? I love that about you.”

“So? What do you say?” Adrian asked, his tone hopeful. 

“Yes, Adrian. I love you.”

He smiled and kissed Trevor’s hand again. “I love you, Trevor.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian was nervous beyond belief, but he wasn’t going to allow that to stop him. He exhaled and began unbuttoning Trevor’s tunic. Eyes followed his every move, but they were soft and encouraging. Once they were all undone, Trevor slipped the shirt off and tossed it on the floor. He played with Adrian’s hair, twisting it between his fingertips. Adrian untangled those fingers and guided them to his shirt, which Trevor lifted and threw across the room. 

“You’re a bit excited, Trevor,” Adrian chuckled. His hand traced lines across Trevor’s chest. 

Trevor shrugged with a smirk. “Of course I am.”

They kissed. Their connection went further than it ever had before, which caused them both to pull away with pink cheeks. Adrian moved to Trevor’s neck and placed kisses here and there. After a few moments of this, he experimented with nipping at the skin. Trevor groaned, his hands twisted in Adrian’s scalp. 

Adrian took it as a sign of approval and kept going. He nipped a few more times before moving down to his chest. He repeated the process. His movements were steady and methodical, his lack of experience leaving him to hesitate every once in a while. Trevor didn’t seem to mind, sounds of pleasure tumbling from his mouth. Adrian soon made his way down to his trousers. He undid the buckle and tore it away, the garment following. Trevor stared at him, his face pink. 

The room was quiet as Adrian ran his fingers across Trevor’s thighs. He was nervous, his heart throbbing in his throat, but he swallowed it down. He had been thinking about this for weeks, unbeknownst to Trevor. He had even dug through the library to find books that would give him guidance on how to pleasure his lover. Adrian would never say that aloud, but he had done it. He inhaled, grabbed Trevor’s undergarments, and pulled them down and away. He tossed them aside. 

“Christ, you’re the no warning kind of partner, aren’t you?” Trevor exclaimed. He paled at his completely nude form. 

Adrian flustered. He looked to the far wall. “I’m s-sorry!”

“Nah, it’s fine. I don’t care.”

“I’m sorry I kicked your testicles. They look fine, though,” he said through a shy chuckle. 

Trevor raised his brow, a smirk on his lip. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks, baby,” he laughed. 

Adrian smiled and leaned down in between his legs. Trevor’s grip on his hair tightened. 

“Y-You don’t have to do that, Adrian,” he mumbled. 

“But I want to,” Adrian responded, his tone blank. Trevor sighed. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he nodded. 

“Alright, then. Christ, I am  _ not _ going to last long.”

 

**~*~**

 

Trevor was writhing with pleasure while he came down from his high. He didn’t remember any other encounter feeling quite this good, though none of the others had been with someone he cared so deeply for. Adrian had a gentle, loving touch at every point of contact they made. Trevor nearly forgot he had fangs. He’d have to ask him to show them off in the bedroom sometime... _ later. _ He was too shy to do something like that now, and Trevor would never think to push him into doing something he wasn’t comfortable with. He rubbed his palms over his face. 

“You were right, you didn’t last long,” Adrian joked, though it was a mask for his nervousness. 

“Yeah, well, I’m my own dick’s psychic,” Trevor laughed. He wiped sweat off his brow. 

“Was it...okay?”

“More than okay. It was fucking fantastic.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Trevor nodded. He leaned off the pillows. “Alright, your turn.”

Adrian paled and tilted his head. “W-What?”

“Lie on your back, Adrian. You said you wanted to know what it feels like. I’ll give it to you, unless you’re done for now.”

“O-Oh! What are we going to do?”

“Whatever you want to do.”

Adrian turned and leaned back against the pillows. Trevor climbed over him. They kissed, Adrian’s hand cupping his cheek. His skin was damp with nervous sweat, the sensation of Trevor hovering over him garnering reactions he had never before felt. Trevor followed a path down his neck and peppered affections along the skin. He bit down and suckled. Adrian’s breath hitched, a sharp wave of pleasure pushing through him. 

“Hey,” Trevor said as he leaned back, “where’s the hickey?”

“Where’s the  _ what?” _ Adrian asked. 

“My love bite. I suckled the hell out of your skin.”

“Vampires don’t bruise, love, if that’s what you were going for. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Well, shit,” Trevor said. He smirked. “I’ll just have to find another way to leave my mark.”

Adrian blushed as Trevor chuckled, resuming his previous activities. He moved down his chest and to his trousers. He hooked his fingers underneath the hem and looked to Adrian for approval. Adrian nodded and the garment was pulled down and tossed away. 

“What do you want to do, Adrian?” Trevor asked. His fingers traced circles in Adrian’s thighs.

“W-Well…” Adrian mumbled, “ah...the regular way?”

“Okay. You sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes.”

After more time of maneuvering and preparation, Adrian was covered in cool sweat. He was anxious, yet it was different from the other forms of anxiousness he had experienced. He was full of the anxiousness of anticipating something he had waited so long for, and at some points in his life, never thought he would have. Trevor rubbed Adrian’s thighs, his legs hooked around his waist. Adrian paled. He had never felt more exposed. Despite that, he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. 

Finally, they were physically connected to each other. They stared into each other’s eyes, both shocked to realize they had come this far in their relationship. When they first met, they had been ready to kill each other, now they would kill _for_ each other. It was a strange feeling, but it was satisfying nonetheless. 

“You doing okay?” Trevor asked. He pushed hair away from Adrian’s eyes. 

“Yes,” Adrian nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

When they began to make love, Adrian couldn’t help but reach for Trevor’s hand and hold it. It was a strange, new sensation on both the physical and emotional levels. This was a step they took that caused their relationship to be forever different. Both of them were alright with it. Adrian wasn’t sure what came next, but he trusted Trevor through and through. 

 

**~*~**

 

When it was over, Adrian was exhausted. Despite that, a euphoric feeling fluttered through his chest as he curled into Trevor’s. They were both slick with sweat and regaining their breath, but both trenched in their love for each other. Adrian used to scoff at the term _lovebirds_ , but he accepted the possibility someday soon he might turn into one. 

Trevor rubbed Adrian’s back. “That’s was something special, baby,” he said.

“I think so.” Adrian nodded. He traced circles in Trevor’s chest. 

“I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way.”

“Thank you. I still have much to do.”

“Sure, but celebrate what you’ve done so far.”

“Agreed.”

“I hope your dad’s ghost doesn’t strangle me in my sleep for having sex with his son. If you wake up and I’m dead, then you’ll know what happened.”

Adrian chuckled. “He might.”

“Well shit. It was worth it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally did it. ;)
> 
> I wanted to write this out without making it too explicit. I have an explicit two-shot with these two if you're interested in a version with details. lol 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!!!


	20. The Visitor

It was early morning when Adrian woke. The sunlight streamed across the bed through the slits in the curtains. Adrian stretched and exhaled, his muscles sore. He curled into the pillow again and drifted, Trevor softly snoring next to time. They stayed this way for a little while longer before Adrian sat up in bed. He furrowed his brow. Something felt _off,_ the air of the area different than it was before. He wasn’t sure if he had heard something while he drifted or if it was straight intuition, but he stood and dressed himself. He walked over to the window and peered out. When he saw a figure walking along the pathways of the Belmont hold, his teeth clenched. He couldn’t tell who they were from this height, but he could see them moving along the cobblestone. 

Adrian grabbed his sword. “Trevor!” he said. 

Trevor groaned and shifted in bed. He curled around the blanket and sunk his head deeper into the pillow. “We’ll have sex again later, baby…” he mumbled. 

“No, you bastard!” Adrian retorted, frustration and worry in his voice. “There’s someone poking their nose in the Belmont hold. I can’t see who they are from this height.”

_ “Shit…”  _ Trevor’s eyes flung open with a curse. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and dressed. “No one has any business here. Now I get to try out this new whip of mine.”

Adrian flushed. “Not how I wanted you to test it, but it’ll do.”

 

**~*~**

 

The trek down to the ground was a long one. Adrian was already tired once they reached the bottom and ventured outside. No matter how much he pushed himself, he hadn’t regained the stamina he had before the end of the war. He did fine in bed, but afterward, knew he wouldn’t be doing anything strenuous the next day. That was until he spotted someone trespassing. He hadn’t fought anything since he had fought his father. He had no idea how well he would hold up. 

“Stay behind me, Adrian,” Trevor said, “I’ll take care of it. Don’t overexert yourself.”

Adrian nodded. They walked to the old, ruined entrance of the Belmont hold. The door to the vault  underground was removed. Adrian furrowed his brow. He hated the looks of this, it reeked of someone knowledgeable and powerful. Trevor grunted. 

“This looks fucking ugly,” he said. 

“Not many know the occult language your ancestors used to ward the door. Whoever this is knows this is here and wants whatever is inside.”

“Damn it…” Trevor unhooked his whip and wrapped it around his hand. “Be ready for anything.”

They ventured down into the vault. They both took glances at each other when they realized the same person who opened the door had also lit all the lanterns in the large space. Adrian kept his hand on the hilt of his sword as Trevor gave him a silent hand direction to follow behind. 

Soon enough, they came upon footsteps in the dust on the floor. They followed them to a set of bookshelves around the corner. They leaned against the wall and crouched against it. Trevor lifted his whip with a sly smirk and mouthed _ watch this. _ He threw the whip around the corner and pulled. It wrapped around something. Trevor tugged and someone yelped before a loud crash echoed the room. Adrian unsheathed his sword and rushed around the corner, pointing it at whoever the intruder was. Trevor followed with his short sword. 

Trevor and Adrian weren’t sure what they were expecting, but it surely wasn’t--

“Sypha?” Adrian said, dropping his sword. 

“What the hell are you doing down here?!” Trevor exclaimed. 

“Trevor, when will you learn to stop being so rude?!” Sypha huffed. She reached for the leather wrapped around her ankle. Trevor walked forward and unraveled it, helping her stand. She brushed dust and dirt off her robes. 

“You said you were going to check on Alucard and come back within three weeks. That was nearly two months ago,” she said. 

Adrian raised a brow in Trevor’s direction. Trevor put his hand around the back of his head. 

“Yeah, well, I got distracted,” he said, trying to be nonchalant. “What made you think I’d be down here?”

“I didn’t have any idea of where I’d thought you would be. I was just trying to search everywhere.”

“Maybe you should’ve checked the big-ass castle up ahead first.”

Sypha scoffed. “Is this what I get for worrying about my friends?”

“I apologize, Sypha,” Adrian sighed. “We don’t expect visitors.”

“I suppose not, if this is how you treat them.” 

“Let me show you into the castle.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian and Trevor sat across from Sypha in the kitchen. They shared a small meal of bread and wine, as they were running short of everything else. Adrian couldn’t help the blush that was on his cheeks. How would they explain what had been going on these past weeks? What would she think of it? He swallowed, picking at his bread instead of eating it. After a few minutes of silence, Adrian sighed. He thought it’d be better to explain before she even had to ask. It would save them awkward encounters and much time. 

“I’ve been ill,” Adrian admitted. “Trevor’s been looking after me.”

Sypha’s eyes widened. She leaned forward to gaze at him.  _ “What? _ What is it? Is there anything I can do to help? We Speakers have an extensive knowledge of health and healing magic.”

“No, I’m doing better now. Trevor did not tell me he had set a time frame for his visit.” Adrian glanced over at Trevor. 

Trevor shrugged and took a gulp of wine. “Things like that are subject to change.”

“You could have  _ at least  _ let her know,” Adrian stressed. He crossed his arms. “Dumbass.”

“I see the band is as merry as ever,” Sypha sighed. “How can Alucard get better if this is how you two get along?”

“Oh, we’ve been getting along just fine.  _ Trust me,” _ Trevor retorted. 

Adrian blushed, glaring at Trevor. “Hey, Trevor, why don’t you hunt some game for us? You made her travel all this way alone, the least you can do is treat her to a hefty meal.”

“Fine. I’m still hungry anyway.”

The door to the kitchen snapped shut, leaving Sypha and Adrian alone. Sypha munched on bread as Adrian gazed to the fire. They needed fresh meat, but beyond that, Adrian thought it’d be easier to explain things to Sypha alone. He exhaled and took a sip of wine, the fire’s crackle filling the space between them. 

“Something’s changed between you two,” Sypha said. 

Adrian turned to her. “What gave it away?”

“The banter is still there, but Trevor doesn’t seem frustrated to be around you. The animosity that was there when we traveled is gone.”

“Those days seem so far away now…” Adrian shook his head, his stare pensive. Nowadays it was hard to believe they used to treat each other with disdain and annoyance. He couldn’t see his life without Trevor, or without their relationship. 

“Are you still unwell? What happened to make you sick?”

“I stopped taking care of myself. I didn’t see a reason to. I was frail, still am, and losing the will to live. Trevor showed up and quickly discovered my lack of care for my own life. He was angry, and adamant on nurturing me back to health. He’s been here ever since.”

Sypha frowned. “Your father’s death was hard on you.”

“Yes…”

“I’m sorry, Alucard. Perhaps we should’ve stayed with you a little longer before we parted ways.”

“It’s all said and done now. There’s nothing for either of you to feel guilty about.” He paused. “Trevor lives here with me now. I didn’t know he had given a time frame to return or else I would’ve made him come tell you what his plans were.”

Sypha’s eyes widened. “He _ lives _ with you?”

“Yes,” Adrian said, his face pale, “he lives with me. We share a bedroom and a bed and every meal and thought…”

“Are you…?”

“In love? Yes.”

Sypha leaned back. It was silent a moment. Adrian swirled his wine around, staring into the crimson shade as it bounced off the sides of the cup. 

“I’m happy for you both, Alucard,” she finally said. 

“Thank you.”

“I hope his mouth isn’t too harsh on you.”

“Oh, it isn’t. The banter we have now is just done in good faith.” Adrian paused. “He’s done so much for me. I wouldn't be where I am without his presence, lovers or not. I could spend the rest of my life with him.”

Sypha nodded, a small smile on her lips. “It sounds like true love. You must tell him everything.”

“I do. But, there’s one thing I can’t approach him with. Not now, anyway.”

“What’s that?” she asked, her brow furrowed. 

Adrian blushed. He hunched his shoulders. “Sypha, may I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What are the marriage practices within the Speakers?”

Sypha’s eyes widened again. After the shock faded from her face, her smile was wider than before. “As Speakers, we are all companions. However, we acknowledge that there are certain individuals in our lives we exercise deeper bonds with. In those times, a union ceremony is performed by the elder of a group. It’s a grand celebration. We recognize a marriage is something that emits love and care into this world, and it can inspire us to extend that care onto others.”

“Does it matter if the companions are something other than man and woman?”

“No. The way we see it, you find love where you find it, regardless of what one was born as.”

“I don’t suppose Speakers marry outsiders.”

“No. There isn’t a reason to. Most areas have their own marriage traditions. Now, if a couple came to us and said they weren’t allowed to marry any other way, that is something different. That could constitute as the Speakers giving you aid, because one of our virtues is to help the persecuted.”

“The thought has crossed my mind,” Adrian admitted. “I may not ask him anytime soon, but...I was just curious. Thank you, Sypha.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t crossed his,” Sypha said, “not because he wouldn’t want it, but because it’s something he doesn’t think he can have.”

“Possibly.”

“If you ever ask, and he says yes, you’ll have to come find my caravan. My grandfather will marry you.”

“Thank you.”


	21. He Lingers

Later that night, Adrian showed Sypha to a guest room and got her settled in. He then retired to bed with Trevor, both of them staring at the ceiling as they brought the sheets over them. Adrian sighed, thinking over what Sypha had told him at dinner. He glanced over at Trevor and watched his eyes close. 

“Night, baby,” Trevor mumbled, his voice tired. 

“Goodnight, Trevor.”

The night was quiet as Adrian tried to hush his mind. He tried to fall asleep, but it was a struggle. Trevor’s snores filled the space between his ears and swirled around with the ceaseless thoughts in his head. The thought of asking for Trevor’s hand in marriage was intimidating, and it raised his heart rate a little every time he thought of it. Despite that, he wanted it. He wanted more than he had wanted anything else. It wasn’t in his personality to indulge in his personal wishes, always putting something else over his own desires. Yet, he couldn’t ignore this. He wanted Trevor tied to him.  _ Forever.  _

After a while of heavy thought, he finally fell asleep. 

 

**~*~**

 

The fire crackled and gave the room a solemn ambiance. The pensive, loving stare of Lisa’s portrait watched over the room. Adrian stared at the back of the lone and regal chair in front of the fireplace. The walls were lined with aged hardbacks. He walked forward, meeting his father’s tired gaze as he sat in the chair. Vlad sighed at him, one fist on his chin. Adrian stiffened at his somber attitude. 

“Hello, Father,” he said. He clenched his fists. 

“Son,” Vlad greeted. He turned his head to the portrait on the wall, his stare tense. “I never thought I’d see the day. Well, perhaps, I wished I’d never see you grow this mature and self-aware.”

“What?” Adrian asked, his brow furrowed. 

“Is marriage truly what you seek?”

“A-Ah...Yes…”

Vlad nodded. “To tell you to stay away from it would be hypocritical of me. I love your mother, despite our differences.”

“If you were to tell me to stay away from it, why would you?” Adrian bit his lip, nervous at the answer he might get. He watched his father’s subtle movements as he shifted in the chair. 

“You remind me of myself, Adrian,” Vlad admitted. “Those few decades ago, I knew exactly what I wanted. I devised exactly how to obtain it. A marriage for you is different than a marriage for him. No matter how human you come to feel, you are  _ not _ human. Remember that, but don’t let it hold you back.”

“I love him Father,” Adrian whispered, “but...he’s a Belmont.”

“Yes,” Vlad nodded, “the last one of a centuries old clan.”

Adrian frowned. He crossed his arms loosely over his chest. “I doubt he wants it to end with him. I suppose I shouldn’t ask…”

“No,” Vlad said, his voice stern, “you will ask him, and if he says yes, that’s at his discretion. He knows what’s at stake.”

“But I feel as though I would be luring him in.”

“If he truly loves you, Adrian, he won’t leave your side regardless. You have not lived the centuries I have lived. Nor have you observed the human condition pass by as I have. I know how humans  _ think,  _ son. I can tell exactly what will happen if you marry him.”

Adrian watched the fire flicker. He sighed, not sure if he wanted to hear what his father had to say. It scared him to know, for he understood his father was seldom wrong. He was too wise and too old not to have great insights. 

“What would that be?” he asked. 

“He is in awe at this castle. The knowledge here is vast and powerful, and your abilities just as much so. He will ask you to rebuild the Belmont keep with him with the aid of the resources here.”

“What would be the point if he is the last Belmont?”

Vlad raised his brow. “I don’t know. He is  _ your _ lover. That is something you must devise for yourself.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian woke, cool sweat along his skin. It was early dawn, the sun peaking over the landscape. He threw his legs over the side and dressed. His stomach thrashed, an ill feeling rising in him. He hadn’t felt this level of unease in some time. Trevor was still sound asleep as Adrian opened the door and ventured out to walk the halls alone. 

The rusty door creaked as Adrian pushed it open. The room was still dim, the light from the sun not yet reaching it. He walked a few steps into the room, his childhood artifacts greeting him with nostalgic solemness. The portrait on the wall was the most defining piece of decor in the space, the eyes of his parents, and his younger self, peering at him. 

Adrian swallowed tears. He walked up to the painting and stared into his father’s eyes. “Are you really speaking to me, Father?” he asked the portrait. “I would never think to tell myself the things you’ve told me...it’s almost as if...you linger here…”

He paused. “You’ve always wanted the best for me.”

He took a set on his dusty childhood bed. Time passed, his mind lost in thought.  _ You will ask him, _ his father said. Adrian furrowed his brow.  It was almost as if Vlad expected him to ask for Trevor’s hand in marriage. Adrian wasn’t yet sure what he expected out of himself, it was an idea, one he longed for, but still simply that: _an idea._ Would his subconscious really talk to him that way? He thought not. 

Vlad was powerful in life, did that extend to death also? Perhaps he was able to speak to Adrian because of their blood connection to each other. Beyond that, the veil between reality and the beyond thinned in sleep. But was it insane to think he would really do this? 

Adrian sighed. He knew what he thought the answer was. He glanced to the portrait again. “You’ve never told me what I wanted to hear,” he said, “but it’s always been what I needed.”

“There you are.”

Trevor stood in the doorway. He walked across the room. “I woke up and you were gone. Took me a while to guess you’d be here.”

“I’m just thinking,” Adrian mumbled. The bed dipped when Trevor sat beside him. 

“I’m not going to lie, I really don’t like the sound of that.”

“I don’t feel well today,” Adrian sighed. “The powder is working wonders, but I don’t think I’ll rid myself of these days entirely.”

Trevor frowned. He wrapped his arm around Adrian’s shoulder and kissed his forehead. “Do you need anything?”

“No, there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Adrian shook his head and gazed out the window. “There’s still pieces of my parents that linger here. I’m coming to the realization that it'll always be that way. In a way, it’s comforting. I feel less animosity in me than I once did. It helps to remember them, who they were, before everything fell apart.”

“Yeah…” Trevor sighed. “It’s hard to see passed what happened in the end sometimes. Sometimes you blink and you see them, the next time you blink you relive their deaths, blink again and they’re dead and you’re alone.”

Adrian furrowed his brow. “You’re speaking of your own experiences.”

Trevor grunted. “It never leaves you, Adrian. You just learn to live with it.”

“I understand.” He paused. “You have me now, Trevor. I can’t replace your family, but I hope I can fill some of the void they left behind.”

“You do. More than you know.”

 

**~*~**

 

“Where will your caravan be for the next few months?” Trevor asked Sypha at the kitchen table. Adrian was taking a morning bath before joining them, leaving the two friends time to chat alone. 

“Brăila,” Sypha said, “we’ll stay there for about six weeks before moving back up the Danube river.”

“Hmm…” he hummed, “I want to ask Adrian to take a trip with me. He’s spent too much time cooped up in this castle. It would do him some good to take a break from it.”

“It’s a beautiful port city, I’m sure you would both enjoy yourselves.”

“Perhaps giving you a visit would help convince him.”

“You might not have to convince him,” Sypha said, taking a sip of wine, “he might agree once you bring up the idea.”

Trevor shrugged and sighed. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

Sypha smiled. Trevor drank his cup of wine and got up to help himself to another. Adrian opened the door and joined them at the table with a greeting. He helped himself to a slice of the loaf between them. He tore a piece and put it in his mouth. 

“When do you plan to return to your caravan?” Adrian asked Sypha. “You are free to stay here as long as you need.”

“I think I’ll go tomorrow. I told my grandfather I’d meet them in Brăila,” Sypha said. 

“I see.”

“Sypha’s been telling me about how nice Brăila is,” Trevor added, turning to Adrian. “How about we visit there sometime?”

Adrian nodded. He chewed and swallowed. “I like that idea. We can accompany you to Brăila, Sypha. If you find it bearable to travel with us, that is,” he chuckled. 

Sypha chuckled with him. “Of course. Traveling in numbers is always better than going it alone, anyway.”

“Great,” Adrian smiled. “Tomorrow it is.”


	22. Good Enough

The sun was warm against Adrian’s pale skin. It had been weeks since he had spent any considerable time in the daylight. The morning birds chirped, the shadows of the leaves decorating the road ahead. Adrian inhaled the fresh forest air and reached for Trevor’s hand. Their fingers intertwined. They glanced to each other with small smiles. 

“I hope nothing tries to sneak into the hold while we’re gone,” Trevor said, though he didn’t sound concerned about it. 

“I warded all the doors, love,” Adrian said with a chuckle, “no one’s getting in but us.”

“Of course. Why did I expect anything less of you?”

“This is a nice change of pace,” Sypha added. “It’s refreshing to see you two not insulting each other.”

“Yeah, I assault other parts of him now instead,” Trevor retorted with a sly smirk. Adrian clenched his free into a fist with a blush. 

“Oh, hush you,” Adrian mumbled. Sypha chuckled, though her cheeks where pink as well. 

“You two are a handful.”

Later on in the day, they set up a small camp for the night. Trevor went to hunt game while Adrian and Sypha prepared a fire. Once the fire was crackling, they sat in front of it, the warmth calming against his skin. He watched the smoke rise into the dusk sky. He reached into his pocket and pulled a small pouch from it. The velvet was soft in his hands as he felt the object within. He turned to Sypha. 

“Sypha,” he said, “I made a ring…” 

Adrian opened the pouch and turned it over, the ring falling into his gloved palm. It was a simple gold band, a small ruby fitted to the center. It had a saying etched into the underside. He stared at it with wide eyes, his heart rate increasing. 

“What do you think?” he asked, passing the ring to her. She took it in her palm and inspected it. 

“I understand ruby and the color red have been prominent in the Belmont lineage for centuries,” he continued. “I engraved  _ amor vincit omnia  _ on the underside. It means  _ love conquers all  _ in Latin. I--I feel as though I’ve conquered so much suffering in his presence...I don’t know, perhaps it’s a bit too much emotional fluff.”

“No, Alucard,” Sypha shook her head, “it’s perfect. It actually has personal meaning woven into it. You could’ve bought a ring at any village vendor, but you didn’t. You built one from scratch. It’s special and there’s no price to put on that.”

“I’m afraid to give it to him…” Adrian admitted. He brought his knees and his chest and crossed his arms over them. 

“Why? He’ll love it.”

“I don’t know…”

“You’re just nervous.” Sypha took the pouch from Adrian’s hand put the ring back in it. She placed it back in his hand. “Anyone would be nervous asking for another’s hand in marriage. It’s a completely normal experience.”

Adrian put the pouch back in his pocket. “I plan to ask him in Brăila.”

“Then you can get married before you return home.”

“If all goes well, yes.”

“It’s going to be great, Alucard,” Sypha reassured him with a smile.

“I hope so.”

 

**~*~**

 

They arrived in Brăila after a few days of travel. Trevor and Adrian helped Sypha find her caravan, which was located at the edge of town. She waved to Adrian with a smile and wink, which caused the blood to drain from his face. Once they parted, Adrian went to walk back into town, but Trevor grabbed his arm. He startled, kicking up dirt with his boot. 

“The river flows into some dense woods from here,” Trevor said. “It’s not far. Let’s take a swim before we find an inn for the night.”

Adrian’s eyes widened. “S-Swim?” he asked. 

“Yeah.”

“I-I’ve never swam, Trevor.”

Trevor smiled. “Well, I’ll teach you then. You’ll probably be able to stand in the river anyway. What do you say?”

“Alright,” he agreed. “Perhaps it’s time to try something new.”

“That’s the spirit.”

When they reached the river, Adrian wished he could backtrack on his _try something new_ stance. He had never been in flowing water before. He only really understood what rain on the skin and the flow of bathwater felt like. The rush of the water was a steady, slow pace. Adrian watched the river flow by, brushing up against rocks scattered around the bank. He bit his lip. He knew vampires couldn’t cross running water, and that’s why he’d ever been brought to a river to swim. His mother was never one for swimming either. Naturally, this lead him to be unaccustomed with it. 

“O-Oh...um...vampires can’t cross running water, Trevor!” he exclaimed, his face pale. 

“Yeah, but you’re not a vampire. You’re a dhampir,” Trevor said. He began undoing his buckles. 

Adrian flushed. It was the first time Trevor had ever referred to him by his true nature. He swallowed tears that sprung in his eyes, though he wasn’t sure why they bubbled in the first place. He blinked, watching Trevor strip his clothing. He blushed at the sight. 

Once Trevor was nude, he waded out into the water. He sighed when he was waist deep, his arms over his head. He turned to Adrian, who was still at the bank fully dressed. He beckoned him with his hand. 

“Come on, Adrian,” he said, “the water is only waist deep. No swimming knowledge required.”

“C-Coming!” Adrian responded, his tone nervous. He carefully shed his coat and shirt, undoing his buckles. He undid his boots and trousers at an even slower pace than he did his other garments. Once he was fully nude, he hunched, his stance meek. He inched closer to the water but didn’t step into it. Trevor chuckled and waded back to the bank. He held out his hand. Adrian took it and let him guide him closer. He took one step into the cool water and startled. 

“I’m scared,” Adrian admitted.  

“It’s alright, baby,” Trevor chuckled. He squeezed Adrian’s forearm. “Just hold on to me.”

Adrian nodded. He wrapped both his arms around Trevor’s bicep. Trevor guided him slowly into the water. The cool sensation of the river flow against Adrian’s skin was a foreign feeling. He was stiff, each step slow and timid. Trevor stopped once they were in the middle of the river. It was only waist deep, yet Adrian still clung to Trevor like his life depended on it. Trevor laughed. 

“The things I do for you, you bastard,” Adrian mumbled. 

“I guess river sex is out of the question?” Trevor said, a smirk on his lips. 

“What do  _ you _ think?” 

“I think you’re beautiful,” Trevor said, pushing back some of Adrian’s hair. Adrian blushed. 

“You always answer my questions in ways I don’t expect.”

Trevor smiled. “You know, this is how I bathed for years. Well, all the way up until I met you.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, it’s the nicest way to get clean. The communal baths in inns are disgusting, and I could never afford a room with a bath. Even when there was somewhere nice to go in town, the river is always nicer. Well, I think so, anyway.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

Trevor turned and wrapped his arms around Adrian’s waist. Adrian let go of his bicep and cupped his shoulders, their gazes crossing paths. They stared at each other, enjoying a moment of solitude together in a serene setting. Something brushed Adrian’s leg. He jumped and gasped, squeezing the might out of Trevor’ shoulders. He clung to him for safety.  

“Trevor! Trevor!” he exclaimed in a panic. “Something brushed my leg!”

“That was  _ my _ leg, baby,” Trevor laughed. Adrian frowned. 

“Oh.”

“I never thought I’d see you so squeamish,” he chuckled. “If you want to get out, I won’t force you to stay.”

“N-No..it’s alright. I kind of...like it.”

Trevor smiled and leaned forward, their lips connecting. When he went to pull away, Adrian wouldn’t let him. He peppered him in kisses over and over again, a soft smile accompanying each one. Afterward, he tilted his head to place affections at Trevor’s shoulders and chest. 

They spent the afternoon like this, enjoying each other’s company in the crisp current. Affections were exchanged back and forth. After a steady flow of exchanges, Adrian relented to his emotions and the contentment of the moment, and together they made love. 

It was then Adrian knew: he would ask tonight. No matter how nervous he may be, he was ready and willing to face the unknown. He couldn’t have guessed this was where he’d end up when Trevor barged into the castle and forced him to improve himself, but he couldn’t be more thankful for it. He hoped Trevor would accept what Adrian was willing to give him in return. 

 

**~*~**

 

They found an inn near the city center. It was cozy, and better than many of the places Trevor had stayed over the years. He settled into bed and drew the thin sheet over him, waiting for Adrian to join him. He thought back to the river. He never thought he’d get Adrian to step out of his comfort zone to that degree. It was an amazing feeling, being happy, seeing Adrian happy as well. Trevor would never admit it, but he had feared the worst when he had discovered what was going on at the castle. He tried his best to prepare for what he would do if Adrian didn’t pull through. He sighed. Those thoughts were so foreign to him now. Adrian still had his bad days, there were things he still needed to come to terms with, but he was so much healthier. Trevor couldn’t believe his eyes sometimes. He understood that part of the reason was how adamant he was on helping him get better, but that was something Trevor wouldn’t own up to either. 

Adrian was in the bath, yet he wasn’t bathing. He was sitting on a stool, staring at the ring in between his fingers. It had been a lovely day. After the tryst at the river, they went into town and found a tavern, where they shared a meal and a few cups of ale. Then, they walked through the city and found a warm tavern to spend the night in. It had been one of the best days Adrian could remember having in years. He wanted a great day to end a spectacular one, yet he was still nervous he could ruin it. He remembered Sypha’s knowing wink. If she knew he was stalling on a bathroom stool, she might’ve slapped him into his senses. He trusted her word, but he struggled with his own nervousness. He took a deep breath. He had come so far in his journey to health. He didn’t suffer like he used to, which allowed him to reach the point he was at now. His life had changed a great deal since the end of the war, and it was changing still. 

_ You will ask him, _ he heard his father say. 

At the sound of his father’s voice, Adrian made up his mind. He had to ask, not knowing what Trevor’s reaction would be was eating him alive. Beyond that, some part of him told him his father expected him to. He didn’t know why or how, or if he was imagining things, but it didn’t matter. He stood and opened the door, the ring in his trouser pocket. 

Trevor startled when Adrian sat in his lap. He reddened, remembering the last time he had unexpectedly sat on him. His skin was already heating up. Trevor wrapped his arms around Adrian’s back. At least this time, it wouldn’t be awkward if his body reacted in a certain way. Perhaps that was what Adrian was aiming for. 

Adrian rubbed his hands over Trevor’s chest. “Hi, Trevor,” he said, his voice shy. 

“Hello,” Trevor responded, his tone suave, “you’re sitting on my testicles again.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s not a maybe, you  _ really _ are.” 

They chuckled. Adrian let his hands rest at Trevor’s collarbones. He kissed him softly, then pulled away. His heart was racing, his chest was trembling, and his skin was hot, but he didn’t want to turn away. Adrian swallowed a lump in his throat and licked his lips. Trevor watched his every move, making things twice as difficult. Adrian shifted, causing his lover to grunt. 

Trevor rubbed Adrian’s back. “Maybe I should sit on your testicles sometime,” he joked. 

Adrian shrugged. He inhaled and brought what he wanted to say to the tip of his tongue. 

“I love you, Trevor,” he said. 

“I love you too, Adrian.”

“You torture me,” Adrian said. He didn’t know where he was going with his speech, but he tried his best to speak from the purest place in his heart. “But it’s in a sweet way…”

Trevor furrowed his brow. “What does that mean?”

“Everything about you is torturous. Your lips, your skin, your hair and eyes. Not to mention your voice.” Adrian cupped his cheek. “Yes, your voice is gruff, but it brings me so much comfort. There are so many times I want to do things _to_ you, do things _for_ you, but I can’t spoil you all the time. Or, at least, I haven’t figured out how yet. And that’s torture, because I want to give you everything I can possibly give you. If there was something I couldn’t give you, I’d rack my brain until I figure out how.”

Trevor stayed silent, his eyes wide and face pale. He didn’t know what caused Adrian to spill such elegant musings, but it made his heart swell. He had never seen him this soft and careful with his wording before. Trevor waited for Adrian to say something else, his own mind not giving him anything to say in return. 

“Not to mention, I can’t say  _ no _ to you,” Adrian finally continued. “I’m not sure if I ever could. I may say no at first, but as you know, I eventually relent. Not because I’m forced to, but because I’m willing to step outside my comfort levels with you. I have only ever done that with my parents, but there were some things even they couldn’t convince me of. Yet, with you, I don’t think I could deny you anything. And you know why? Because you’d never ask of me anything you didn’t think would enhance our lives in some way.

“I’m still waiting for something to transpire that will pull me out of this trance. But, then, I feel you inside me when we make love and that physicality reminds me this is real. It reminds me I’m good enough to at least one person. I’m not a monster, not a prophetic soldier or a savoir. I’m  _ someone.  _ Someone worthy of love and care.

“I’m rambling, I know. I can’t help it. You wanted to see me _ live, _ Trevor. Who else on this planet cared about that? No one, at the time, not even myself. I can’t express what that means to me. I honestly have no words. Your dedication is incredible. 

“I don’t have much to give you, Trevor. You offer me the chance to live happily. I offer you knowledge and technology and magic, but beyond that, I have my love to give you. I don’t know if these things are what you’re looking for, but...they're all I have.”

Adrian reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. He pinched it between his thumb and index finger, holding it in between their faces. Trevor’s face reflected pure shock, his jaw slack and his eyes fixated on the band. Adrian tried his best to ignore it, though he couldn’t hide the trembling in his hand.

“What it’s taking me this long to ask is…” He paused and exhaled a shaky breath, tears in his eyes. “Will you marry me, Trevor Belmont?”

Trevor stared at the ring, then at Adrian. He repeated the motion many times, blinking every few seconds. He swallowed, his hand squeezing Adrian’s back. Adrian watched him as the silence passed between them. He panicked and started rambling again. 

“I-I spoke with Sypha about it!” he exclaimed, the ring shaking in his fingers. “Her grandfather can marry us, if...if that’s what you want. If you don’t...I....I understand!  _ Truly! _  I’ll go home and move the castle and leave your hold to you and you don’t have to see me anymore and we can forget this--”

“Put the ring on my finger, Adrian,” Trevor finally said. 

“W-What?”

“I said put the damn ring on my finger,” he stressed. He pulled his hand from behind Adrian’s back and held it in front of him. “Please?”

Adrian snapped into his senses. He cradled Trevor’s hand and slipped the ring on. He wiped tears from his eyes when he realized what the gesture meant. Trevor raised his hand to his face and inspected it. 

“I-I made it myself,” Adrian choked, wiping more tears from his eyes. “It’s s-says _ a-amor vincit omnia-- _ ”

“Love conquers all,” Trevor finished. He bit his lip.  _ “Shit…” _

“Is everything okay?”

“ _ No _ …” Trevor whispered with tears on his cheeks, “I’m bawling and my balls are kind of tight…”

“D-Do you want me to move?”

“No.”

Trevor leaned forward and embraced him, his hold tight. Adrian wept into his shoulder, his mind in shock at what had just taken place. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen the night he spent forging the ring before they left for Brăila. He knew now, and he couldn’t turn back. And he didn’t want to. 

He was about to start a new life. Finally, he wasn’t alone. Not now, not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooo <3
> 
> This chapter has so many feels. I was listening to a song called "Good Enough" by Evanescence to help write the proposal scene. I think it enhanced the intensity of the feels. lol 
> 
> There is one more chapter to this work. (Maybe you can guess what it is :D) However, I am planning a sequel that leads into Trevor/Adrian's lives as a married couple. I love the story arc and the dynamic I set up between these two in this story and I got inspired to continue it into a second part. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting! :)


	23. Through Every Circumstance

It was a sunny morning without any clouds to disrupt the stream of light on the ground below. Adrian sat on a stool in Sypha’s tent, the flap parted to let the cool breeze in. He was thankful, for the first time in a long while, his skin felt warm at the touch. He wore a simple white dress shirt with his black trousers and boots, his hands squeezing at his thighs. Sypha walked over to him with a brush. 

“Don’t squeeze your trousers, you’ll wrinkle them,” she said with a smile. 

“I’m just so nervous…” Adrian mumbled, his grip loosening. 

Sypha brushed through his hair, starting at scalp and running down his back. “You’ll do fine.”

“I can brush my own hair, Sypha. You don’t need to trouble yourself with it.”

“Of course you can. But, it’s your wedding day, so you shouldn’t have to.”

“Fair enough.”

Sypha chuckled. It was silent as she continued. After she finished, she set the brush aside and pulled a black, sleeveless vest from the table. She held it in front of him, excitement clear in her eyes. 

“Here, this will add some spark,” she said as he put his arms through it. Once it was on, she stepped back to gaze at him. “ _ There. _ I sewed the rose on last night. It makes you look stunning.” 

Adrian blushed and tilted his head to look at his outfit. The red rose on his vest popped against the ensemble of black and white. He exhaled and ran his fingers over the petals. It was surreal to think he’d be a married man in a few hours time. When the idea first occurred to him, he had bitterly dismissed it as impossible. Sypha brushing back a loose strand of his hair snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“It’s time. Are you ready?” she asked, giving him a hand up. He sighed as his heart hammered in his head. 

“Yes.”

 

**~*~**

 

Adrian walked across the Speaker encampment with Sypha. Speaker tradition stated both members of the marriage met outside the tent and walked down the aisle together arm in arm. He exhaled at the thought of coming face-to-face with Trevor. It would be the last time they looked at each other as merely lovers. From hereafter, their bond would forever be different. Sypha stopped him at the edge of the tent and peered around the corner. She made a gesture to someone and turned back to him. 

“He’s waiting,” she said, “go ahead.”

Adrian let go of the breath he was holding and turned the corner. Trevor was standing there, staring into the distance. He was dressed the same way Adrian was, both of them adorned with a red rose at the breast. He looked stunning. They made eye-contact. After a moment of staring at each other, Trevor exhaled with a smile. 

“You look incredible, Adrian,” he said, putting his hands on Adrian’s shoulders. 

“I was going to say the same of you,” Adrian responded with a nervous smile. 

“I could make out with you right now,” Trevor chuckled in an attempt to rid himself of his nervousness. 

“Why don’t you wait until we’re married?” 

“Deal.”

Adrian stared into his eyes. He swallowed, a small pain rippling his back. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Trevor said. He put out his arm and Adrian wrapped his hand around it. He squeezed Trevor’s arm as Sypha opened the flap to the tent and guided them in. Her grandfather nodded to them with a smile, Speakers lining each side of the aisle. Adrian's gaze turned to the floor, the full force of the situation hitting him. Trevor took the lead and he followed his pace. 

When they finally reached the other side, they stopped at Sypha’s grandfather. Adrian let go of Trevor’s arm so they could turn to face each other. They joined hands and waited for the elder to speak. 

“Today we are gathered to witness the bond of two partners in a union ceremony,” the elder said. “Marriage is the bond of lifetime, a connection that permeates every sector of our lives. Taking another’s hand in this journey not only shows the courage to face the unknown, but the love and care to carry through it together.

“The ceremony today will unite Trevor Belmont and Adrian Fahrenheit Ţepeş in this eternal bond. Under Speaker tradition, we do not believe written parchment is as powerful as the living word. Therefore, the vows will now be said from the minds of our individuals, showing the true intention of their hearts.” The elder stepped back and gestured to Trevor. 

Trevor cleared his throat and squeezed Adrian’s hands. “Adrian Fahrenheit Ţepeş…” he began, his voice nervous, “I know life has thrown its challenges at you and fate has reared its ugly head in your direction more than once. Despite this, you’re the strongest, most poised man I know. When I was getting to know you, you were stoic and still, quiet most of the time, yet very opinionated when you  _ did _ speak. That always intrigued me. Me, being a loudmouth, didn’t understand how you could say so much, yet speak so little. 

“I do understand now why that was. The way you perceived yourself, and life, was warped. I know you’ve changed that a lot. And I’m proud of you for it. Not that I ever believed the ugly things you’ve said about yourself. I’ve always hated when you say those things, because you’ve always been the most beautiful, alluring creature I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I’ve fallen down a lot of damn holes, but the best one was the one that lead me to you.

I want you to know I’m always here. When you want to speak all night or only five sentences...I’ll be waiting--I’ll be waiting because I’m here for the ups and downs. Every moment, I’ll be there to get you what you need. I’m one stubborn fucking asshole, as you know. And I’ve made up my mind about you, and it’s you’re the love of my life. So I’m at your side...as your husband...forever.”

When Trevor finished, Adrian was trembling. Trevor was never the most eloquent speaker, but it didn’t matter. Those words were his and they came straight from his heart. There was no pre-planning what their vows would be, as in accordance with Speaker tradition, everything came from what was felt in the moment. Knowing that, Adrian had to bite back tears. Everything Trevor had said was pure, genuine love and dedication. Adrian cleared his throat and wiped his eyes to prepare for his turn. 

“Trevor Belmont,” he said, “you see me for more than what many others see me as. You were the first person to ever seek me out on a personal level, a level where our roles as soldiers and fighters doesn’t exist. You...You see me as a  _ human _ first and foremost. I can’t begin to describe to you what that means to me. 

“You might seem gruff to everyone else, but to me, you are beautiful and kind. You say what needs to be said, and you don’t mince words. You tell me what I need to hear, push me to do what needs to be done, because you understand the good that comes out of it.

“I promise you, that good will extend to the both of us. I will tend to you when you need it, just as you’ve tended to me in my times of need. I have my love to offer you above all else, but I will be there to support you in the endeavors you wish to pursue. And I know you will do the same for me. As your husband, I hope to give you years of love and affection.”

Trevor gazed to ground, his tooth digging into his lip. He was trying his best to keep his emotions in check, but for the first time in his life, it was severely difficult. He wanted to hug and kiss Adrian over and over, whispering sweet nothings to him in order to show him how much it meant to him to hear those words. He sighed and tried his best to ignore the single teardrop that hit the ground at his feet.

The elder was beaming at the end of the vows. He gestured to Sypha, who was holding the two rings on a plate in her hands. 

“The couple will now exchange rings and the final affirmations of their dedication,” he said. “Trevor Belmont, do you take Adrian Fahrenheit Ţepeş to be your husband, through every year and every circumstance, until death parts you?”

Trevor took one of the rings off the plate and folded out Adrian’s fingers. He slipped the ring on. “I do,” he said. 

When the band touched his skin, Adrian couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He trembled, his fingers dancing over his lips and chin as he tried to contain a sob. He sniffled. He hoped it wasn’t obvious to the whole room how much of an emotional wreck he was, but he supposed it didn’t matter. This was about him and his soon to be husband and their promised future. After all he had been through, he was grateful his tears were shed for something joyous.

“Adrian Fahrenheit Ţepeş, do you take Trevor Belmont to be your husband, through every year and every circumstance, until death parts you?”

Adrian took the remaining ring off the plate and slipped it on Trevor’s finger. “I--I do,” he said, wiping his eyes with his free hand. 

The elder smiled. “I pronounce you married! You may now seal your eternal bond.”

The room cheered as they kissed. After they parted, Trevor wrapped Adrian in a tight embrace. Adrian cried into his shoulder. It was surreal to think he was now a married man. After all the struggling, it was an incredible feeling. 

“You taste salty,” Trevor mumbled into his ear. 

Adrian chuckled and sniffled. “You’re lucky I didn’t cry tears of blood.”

“Yeah, it would’ve scared away all our witnesses and no one would’ve seen us get married,” Trevor chuckled. “Heh...we’re married. It’s surreal as hell.”

“Agreed.”

It had been a long journey up to this point, yet a new arc to it was just about to begin. Adrian knew they would both have their good and bad days, but he welcomed it. They had already been through their fair share of troubles, and it had brought them closer. Adrian hoped, if it were possible, that his parents were proud of him. Beyond that, he hoped they were happy to see him find family in a world that stole his. 

Finally, he was not a monster, a sleeping soldier, an enigma, or a savoir. 

He was  _ good enough. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That marks the end of the story!
> 
> (But there will be a sequel that goes into their married life, so the story continues!) I decided to split the story in two, because it's two different plot arcs: this arc is about Adrian's mental health and recovery, the next arc will be about their lives as a married couple. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support this story has gotten. It is the most popular fic I've ever written here on AO3 so far, and I really appreciate it! I wasn't sure how this story would turn out, but it has been enjoy by many, and I'm so happy to know that through kudos and comments. It also so much fun to write this pair, which inspired me to write more. :)


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